Saving Harry
by Morpheus9
Summary: The war is over. Harry is now a hero. But some people don't handle being a hero well. WARNING: gay relationship between Harry and Draco, don't like it, don't read it, some sex, some dark stuff, hopefully in the end there will be peace for Harry.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... etc.

Ok... so the story got taken down by fanfiction, so I'm trying to keep it low key this time. I'm just going to put up one chapter a day. My appologies again to all who were reading this one and liking it.

WARNING: gay relationship. No sex yet, just a couple of kisses. Don't like it, don't read it.

* * *

Harry hid deep in the covers around him. He was sick. Very sick with the flu. The Daily Prophet was plastering grainy and blurred pictures of Harry hurrying through the house on their front pages and claiming that he was deathly ill. Harry couldn't really argue with them. He felt like he was dying from all the aches and pains and the cough and the runny nose. This morning he felt like his body was one huge ache. It had been months since he had been out of the house. And the one time that he left the house he had to get sneezed on by a person with the flu. He shivered and pulled the covers around him tighter. He breathed in deep. His blankets still smelled like him. Draco Malfoy. They had broken up eight months ago. Harry was all ready a recluse because of reporters always trying to get to him and talk to him. He was the savior of the wizarding world after all. Since Draco had left him he got all his food delivered and anything else he needed. He didn't go out. He didn't want to be a part of the world anymore. Now his physical body actually felt as bad as his heart.

"Mr. Harry Potter, sir?" asked a small voice from the door. Harry knew that it was Dobby even though his feverish haze.

"What is it Dobby?" he asked in a rough voice.

"Dobby has brought more food and put it away in the kitchen. Is Harry Potter feeling better today?"

"No, Dobby. I'm not."

"Is there anything Dobby can do to help Harry Potter feel better?"

"No, Dobby. There isn't."

"Will Harry Potter let Dobby write to one of his friends today?"

"No, Dobby. Please don't do that."

"Dobby is scared for Harry Potter." Harry felt Dobby's tiny and wrinkled hand on his hot forehead. "Harry Potter is so very sick."

"I know that Dobby. I don't care anymore." He heard Dobby leave the room and he sighed deeply. He buried his head deeper into the pillows and pulled the covers tighter around him. He had wanted to tell Dobby to call or send a message somehow to Draco. He wanted to know if Draco even cared that he was lying in bed ill and not caring anymore. He wanted to know if Draco cared at all.

When Draco had left, he had said that he just didn't know how he felt or what he wanted anymore. Harry knew it was partially because half the time they ventured out of the house they were swarmed by people wanting to talk to Harry. Harry had started to shut people out and somewhere along the way he had shut out Draco as well. Now more than ever, Harry was wishing that Draco was next to him to hold him and take care of him while he was sick. As he drifted off to sleep, he thought he heard Dobby snap his fingers to head out somewhere. He didn't know where Dobby would be going and he didn't really care.

* * *

Draco was sitting in his study next to the fireplace and staring into the fire. He sipped on his glass of brandy and furrowed his brow in thought. Next to him was the newest Daily Prophet. He wouldn't have known it was Harry on the front accept that he was wearing the robe that Draco had left there. It had a silver dragon crawling up the side which they had managed to capture as Harry had attempted to slip by the window. Draco knew that the Daily Prophet had a tendency to exaggerate. But he was starting to worry. Harry didn't look well. He wasn't moving as fast as he used to. It used to be that they didn't have pictures because he would get past the windows so fast that nobody could catch a picture of him. Now either he was too sick to try or didn't care anymore. Either way it worried Draco. Suddenly there was a loud pop and Draco about jumped out of his skin.

"Who the hell is it!" Draco shouted with his wand in hand.

"Please don't hurt Dobby!" cried out a familiar voice. Draco sighed and fell back in his chair.

"I'm not going to hurt you Dobby," said Draco putting his wand back in his robe pocket. "Come on over here so I can see you." Dobby tentatively stepped in front of Draco. Even though Dobby was looking frightened, Draco could see that Dobby looked tired and worried. "What's wrong Dobby?"

"Harry Potter doesn't want Dobby to be here." Dobby looked like he was about to throw his head into the chair Draco was sitting on but then stopped. "But Dobby cannot let Harry Potter die." Draco felt his heart skip a beat.

"What?" he whispered trying to hold back tears of guilt.

"Harry Potter is very very sick. Harry Potter stays in bed all day, coughs, moans, sleeps, and tries to eat... but never eats much. Harry Potter has been sick with the flu for a week now."

"Has he gone to the doctor?"

"Dobby suggested that Harry Potter go to the doctor, but Harry Potter said that he wouldn't go. Harry Potter said that he didn't care anymore. Please Draco Malfoy, don't tell Harry Potter that Dobby disobeyed him."

"Don't worry Dobby. You did the right thing to come to me. Harry will see that in time."

"Then Draco Malfoy will come back to take care of Harry Potter?" Dobby's little face lit up at the prospect of his master being helped.

"Yes Dobby, I'm coming back. Give me a moment to pack a few things and then I'll be right there. I want you to go ahead and go back to Harry's house. Make sure there is a fire in Harry's room and if there isn't, light one. Find Harry's cauldron and put it next to the fire. Does Harry have any herbs or anything like that?"

"Yes Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter keeps his herb cabinet filled. Harry Potter was making a lot of sleeping potion." Draco twitched involuntarily at the mention of this.

"All right, let me get my things together. You go ahead and get everything ready for me." Dobby nodded and then snapped his fingers and disappeared.

Draco quickly went to his bedroom and packed a few changes of clothes, his wand, his potions book, and one of his own potions that would bring Harry's fever down which he knew was the first thing he had to do. After pulling on his boots and pulling on his cloak, he gathered up his bag and his wand. He took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and pictured Harry's room. "I love you Harry," he whispered as he apparated.

When he opened his eyes he saw Dobby tending to the fire and the familiar black cauldron was sitting next to him. He turned to the bed and gasped at what he saw. Harry was pale and still wrapped in the blankets on the bed.

"Harry..." he whispered as he rushed to Harry's side. Putting a hand to Harry's forehead he could feel the high fever that was boiling inside the still body. "Harry, you need to wake up for a minute." He gently pulled Harry up to a sitting position. "C'mon Harry, you need to wake up. Accio potion." The potion he had packed in his bag flew to his hand and he popped off the cork with his thumb. Harry moaned and opened his eyes slightly.

"Draco?" he muttered sleepily.

"Yes Harry, it's me. I need you to drink this dear." Harry pushed away Draco's hand that held the vial. "C'mon Harry it will make you feel better. I promise." Draco poured the potion down Harry's throat and waited until he swallowed. "There's a good boy. Now just lie back down, and I'll cook up a good flu medicine for you. Go to sleep if you want to."

"Draco?" Harry muttered again as Draco laid him back down on the bed.

"Yes Harry, it's me. Don't worry about anything."

"Draco... I... I feel so terrible..." Draco gently stroked Harry's forehead and felt that the fever had all ready started to ease.

"I know. It's all right."

"I feel so terrible... but I want to tell you something..."

"What is it?"

"I'm really happy you're here." Draco smiled and kissed Harry gently on the forehead. He saw a tear escape Harry's eye and he gently brushed it away.

"Don't worry darling, I'm here to take care of you now."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter :-P

A bit of a fluffy chapter, just Harry getting better and Draco comforting him.

WARNING: gayness approacheth, just kissing and cuddling though.

* * *

Harry woke up the next morning and he felt a little better. He tried to remember if Draco being in his room was just a feverish dream or if it was real. He recognized the taste of a fever potion still on his lips and started to look around the room. His vision was blurry as always, but he saw a figure sitting next to the fire. The figure was wearing all black and had long blond hair that was held back in a pony tail. He knew only one person who was allowed in the manor by apparition and only one person who Dobby would allow in the manor. Harry pulled the blankets he had around him off and put his feet on the cold floor and attempted to stand. He instantly felt dizzy and fell back in the bed.

"You're awake," said a surprised voice from the fire. The figure walked over to the side of the bed and began to come into focus. "You should lie back down. You're still really sick." Harry reached up to touch the face he was trying to see. "What is it?"

"I can't see you," Harry whispered. Draco's face gently led Harry's hand to his face and sat down next to him on the bed. "I thought it was a dream. I thought it was all just a dream that you came here. I..."

"It's all right. I'm here."

"How... how did you know to come here?"

"Dobby came a got me. He may be an annoying little bugger, but he was worried about you. And in truth, so was I."

"Dobby has ways of causing people to worry."

"No, I was worried before Dobby came to get me. I saw the pictures of you in the Daily Prophet. You used to be fast enough that they couldn't get pictures of you. It made me wonder whether you were sick or had stopped caring. Either way, I was concerned about you. I wanted to know if you were all right."

"And then Dobby..."

"Yes, and then Dobby came and filled in the blanks. I hoped that I could still apparate into the house, and was happy to find that I could."

"I never did have the heart to change the guards. I kept thinking that maybe one day you'd want to come back and plus you're the only one who knows how to even get past the guards."

"What about Ron and Hermione?"

"I just got tired of their happy lives. They kept trying to get me out and get me to do something, but it just felt like pity. Then I go out to Diagon Ally one day to get a few herbs and I get sneezed and coughed all over by a person with the flu. Next day, I wake up with the flu. I just didn't have the energy to even leave the house."

"And just now you didn't even have the energy to stand. Maybe you should lie back down." Draco put an arm around Harry's back and eased him down to the bed again and pulled the covers back over him. When Draco tried to pull away, Harry caught his wrist in his hand. "I'm not leaving," said Draco gently and stroking Harry's forehead. "I'm just going over to the fireplace. I'm making you some medicine to make you feel better. It's almost done, and then I'll be right back, ok?" Harry nodded and slowly let go of Draco's wrist. Draco gently kissed Harry on the forehead and gave his temple one last touch before returning to the cauldron. Draco checked the color of the potion and stirred it a couple of times before he was satisfied with the result. He gently spooned it into a few vials and put them in a vial holder to cool. After putting a cork on each he picked up the vial holder and sat it on the bed side table. Then he sat down on the bed next to Harry.

"See? Told you I'd be back soon." Harry didn't react. Draco reached out and touched Harry's forehead and found that it was very hot again. "Damn," he whispered to himself and scolded himself for not giving Harry another fever reducing potion. He quickly pulled a vial from his bag and proceeded to pull Harry up to a sitting position again. "Harry, Harry you have to wake up and drink this." Harry's eyes didn't even flutter like they did when Draco had done this before. "Harry. C'mon, Harry. You have to wake up enough to drink this." Draco put an arm around Harry's back and shook him slightly. He pulled the cork out of the vial with his teeth and leaned back Harry's head. He poured the potion into Harry's mouth and waited while he sputtered slightly. "That's it Harry. Drink the rest of this down." Harry then swallowed the rest of the potion. Draco reached over and uncorked one of the bottles he had just filled. "Now drink this one. You'll be really sleepy after this one." Harry quickly drank down the potion and rested his head on Draco's shoulder. Draco put the vial down on the table and then laid Harry down on the bed. Draco pulled the covers up around him and gently stroked Harry's cheek.

As much as he had tried to ignore it, Draco knew that he was still in love with Harry. He pulled back the covers and settled in beside Harry's shivering and pale body. He gathered up the man he loved in his arms and rested his chin on the top of Harry's head. Harry had been restless while sleeping. But now with Draco's arms around him, Harry seemed to settle down and finally sleep.

* * *

Harry woke a few hours later and wondered for a moment at who was holding him. Then he looked up and saw Draco sleeping peacefully with his arms still around Harry. Harry smiled and nuzzled Draco's chest. Draco moved slightly and cuddled a little closer to Harry. Harry smiled at his old lover's habit of sleep cuddling. He also realized that for the first time in two weeks he was feeling half-way human. He didn't feel completely well, but he definitely felt better. He shut his eyes and wished for the world to go away so that he could stay with Draco forever.

"You feeling any better this morning love?" asked Draco as he stroked Harry's shaggy hair. Harry smiled.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Ummm... about ten minutes. I didn't want to get up. You looked so peaceful."

"I'm feeling better today. Not completely well, but I feel better."

"That's good. You worried me."

"Me? Little old me?"

"Yeah, you. The one and only love of my life. The only one I can never forget." Harry felt dizzy again, but it wasn't from fever. Draco was so close to him he felt like the world was spinning. "I close my eyes and I see you. I don't feel complete unless you're with me. I can still taste your kiss on my lips some nights. My whole world has been empty without you. I don't know how to live without you." Draco decided he didn't care that Harry had the flu. He kissed the lips he had been craving for months. He felt the old fire pouring from Harry's lips as he kissed back. It surprised him almost since the last time he had kissed Harry he couldn't detect any of the fire that Harry had deep inside him. Draco ran his hands up Harry's shirt and felt as Harry stretched his back in that effortlessly sexual way that he always had. Draco kissed Harry deeper and then ran his lips down to Harry's neck. He plundered the skin that he knew was so sensitive. Harry let his head fall back and let his neck be completely exposed to his lover's attentions. Draco pulled off the shirt that Harry wore and then pulled off his own. The feeling of skin on skin for both of them only fed the fire that was boiling their blood.

"Gods Draco, please... please save me." Harry realized what he said a second after he said it. Draco's gray eyes came into focus. Harry didn't know what to say now. The silence kept growing and Harry was desperate to end it somehow. Harry searched his brain for words to explain what his words meant. He found himself searching through his usual lies, and he stopped himself. "No.." he said out loud.

"If you don't want to-"

"No, that's not what I'm saying no to." Harry could see some confusion on Draco's face. "I'm trying to tell you why I just said that... and I found myself mentally flipping through the lies I usually give." He touched Draco's cheek gently. "But I don't want to lie anymore. I don't want to lie to you." Draco's face changed from confusion to sympathy. "I've been lying to so many people to keep them out. I've been keeping everyone out, even you. I'm sorry."

"Harry it's all right."

"No it's not. I love you. I've loved you for so long. I should have talked to you... said something." Harry stopped and bit his lip. "I just don't know what to say." Draco stroked Harry's cheek gently.

"Harry, I love you. You don't have to say everything right now. Take your time. I'll stay here as long as you want me to."

"I want you to stay. I really want you to stay. I love you Draco. I've never loved anyone like I've loved you. I want you to stay with me always, I just... I have to figure out... who I am... or what I'm going to do... or... something. I have no idea what I'm trying to say."

"It's all right. Take your time love. Take hours, days, weeks, months if you have to. Even years if that's how long it takes."

"I'm not expecting you to stay that long."

"I will."

"Draco... please don't make me promises that-"

"I will stay. Harry, I would have stayed eight months ago if you had told me you wanted me to stay. All you had to say to me was that you wanted me to stay. I would have stayed."

"I want you to stay."

"Then I will. I'll stay as long as you want me here." Harry felt tears sting his eyes. It was all too simple to keep the man he loved with him. So simple that he was kicking himself for not doing it earlier. Draco's arms tightened around him and his hand gently threaded through Harry's black hair. "That's all you ever had to say love. It broke my heart to leave you, but I had to. You had shut me out. You'd stopped talking to me. I wasn't sure of anything that I had with you anymore and I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with you anymore. But I still loved you. I've always loved you. You're the love of my life." Harry buried his tears in his lover's shoulder and shuddered. Draco didn't say a word. He pulled the covers up around them a little more and held his lover a little tighter.

"I'm tired of people wanting something from me," Harry murmured through the sobs. "I'm tired of people chasing after me to ask me questions. I'm tired of people wanting to know how I killed Voldemort. I'm tired of people asking what's wrong with me. I don't know what's wrong with me. All I know is that I feel… like I don't belong anywhere. I don't know what to do now that I've killed Voldemort. I don't want to be Harry Potter anymore. I don't want to be everyone's savior. I don't want to be the one who did what had to be done. I don't want it. And I hate that I was the one who had to do all of that. I want to be normal. I want to be like everyone else."

Draco threaded his fingers through Harry's hair and let him cry and ramble. He didn't know what to say in reply to all of Harry's words. He hoped that just being there with his arms around Harry would be at least some kind of comfort. In the back of his mind he thought, At least he's saying all of this to me instead of letting it boil inside him like he did before. Soon the both of them were asleep again.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: As always, I don't own Harry Potter.

WARNING: still gay realtionship, a few kisses but there will be more eventually. I may put up another chapter today as well.. we'll see.

* * *

The next morning, Harry woke up alone in bed. His hands roamed the other side of the bed trying to find Draco.

"I'm over here," said a gentle voice from the fire. Harry turned his head and saw the familiar figure next to the fire once again. "I didn't want you to think that I had left again."

"I almost did. For about half a second there." The figure got up from the chair and walked over to the side of the bed. The figure sat down and leaned against the head board. Harry settled himself on the familiar chest and rested one arm on the thin waist. Draco pulled the blankets back over Harry's bare back and gently ruffled his all ready messy hair.

"I told you I wouldn't leave. You believe me yet?" Harry's brow furrowed and tried to snuggle down deeper into Draco's chest. "You can say no. I'm not expecting you to trust me over night." Harry still wouldn't answer and held Draco a little tighter. "Ok, it'll be ok. You don't have to say anything." Draco thought he heard something outside and turned his head to look outside and see what was going on.

"Don't look, I know what it is," said Harry.

"What is it?"

"Reporter, reporter, admirer, fanatic, reporter. Were you supposed to be anywhere today or yesterday?"

"Oh Merlin, I was supposed to be giving a lecture on potions at Hogwarts. Professor Snape wanted me to fill in for him for a few days."

"Yeah, when you didn't show up for work someone must have said something, somewhere. And whatever they said got out to the rest of the magical world and they decided you must have come here."

"Harry I didn't-"

"It doesn't matter Dray. There's usually at least one reporter hanging around somewhere. Usually they have the decency to hide themselves a little. It's only if I leave the house or something like another prisoner is put in Azkaban that they actually stand out on the yard in plain view. If I don't go out or go past a window for another two days they'll go back to hiding in corners in muggle overcoats."

"But what if you need to go out?"

"Flooing and apparating have their advantages. Although most of the time I use a glamor spell and change my appearance some way or another. It's the only way to get around and not be constantly mobbed by people wanting something from me."

"Before I forget, here's your medicine." Draco handed Harry an uncorked vial which Harry quickly drank down and then settled back on Draco's chest to sleep away the medicine he had been given. Draco threaded his fingers through Harry's hair again and gently kissed Harry on the forehead. "I didn't mean to draw more attention to you. I just wanted to come take care of you."

"I know that love. I'm glad you're here. Those people leave and come back with the changing of the tide. It was just a matter of time before they would come back again." Draco put his arms protectively around Harry and watched him as he fell asleep. When he was asleep he seemed so much younger. He looked like an innocent angel. Draco gently stroked his cheek and whispered,

"I should have known I would never be able to stay away from you. I love you."

A week later things were better. Harry was finally well and able to get past the windows without anyone seeing him. The reporters left after they couldn't see Draco in the windows either. The two were finally left in peace and quiet. On Sunday morning Draco woke up and began to think of the things he needed to get if he was thinking about moving back in. The two hadn't talked about it yet. Draco pulled himself from the bed and went downstairs to make breakfast. Even if he wasn't going to move back in, he needed to get fresh clothes from his house and other things. He pulled on the black robe that he had left and made bacon, eggs, and oatmeal for both him and Harry. After pouring two glasses of orange juice, he set everything on a tray and walked back upstairs with the tray. Harry was still asleep when he got up so he set the tray down on the bedside table and leaned across the bed and started a trail of kisses at Harry's ear and on down to his lips. Harry was smiling by the time Draco kissed his lips.

"Good morning to you too," said Harry with a giggle. They briefly hugged each other and Draco gave him one last kiss.

"I made us breakfast," he said with pride and levitated the tray over to the bed and placed it between them. Harry sat up with a grin at the food in front of him. Both ate their breakfast with vigor. Harry smiled a smile that Draco hadn't seen on Harry's face in a while.

"All right, what do you need to ask me," said Harry calmly. Draco shifted his eyes slightly.

"I just made breakfast," he said in an innocent voice.

"It's not the breakfast Dray. It's the look on your face. You need to ask me something. So, what is it?"

"Well, I need to go back home today and pick up some fresh clothes. I wanted to know if I should just keep packing week by week or..."

"I want you to move back in." Draco looked into Harry's eyes and saw that he was serious. Draco nodded.

"All right then. I'll get some things together today and next Saturday I can get the rest of the stuff that I need." Harry nodded and put another spoon full of oatmeal in his mouth. "I want to go to Diagon Ally today too. I need to get some things for potions and such. And there's a new potions text book that I need to read up on. Professor Snape has decided to take a longer leave of absence than everyone thought." Harry had been nodding along quite calmly. Draco took in a deep breath and summoned up the courage to ask his next question. "Would you like to come with me?" As he had expected, Harry stopped chewing the bacon in his mouth and stared into his glass of orange juice. For a minute Harry didn't answer. Draco just waited patiently.

"I think I'd like to go with you," Harry said finally. 'Maybe I can keep from being lost if Draco is with me,' Harry thought to himself. Draco was a little surprised but he nodded along.

"Let me know what you're going to do with your glamor spell so that I will remember it's you."

"Actually, Sundays aren't that busy. I'd like to go out as myself." Now Draco really was surprised, but he nodded along with this as well. He really wanted to be supportive of anything Harry wanted to do.

"Ok. Once I get done with breakfast I'll get some stuff from my house. I'll come back here and then we can go to Diagon Ally together." Harry nodded and smiled. Draco could see the nervousness behind the smile so he leaned across the breakfast tray and kissed him gently. With their foreheads pressed together he whispered to Harry, "I'll be there with you. You won't have to worry about anything."

"I know. I know you'll be there. That's why I think I can go out as myself this time."

A few hours later both were dressed in fresh clothes and Draco was back from his house with his fresh clothes. Now the two were dressed in regular clothes and had their black robes wrapped around them.

"If you want to leave, just tell me, and we'll go," Draco assured Harry.

"I know," said Harry. "Let's just go. I don't think I'm ever going to be certain that I'm ready. Might as well find out." They kissed quickly and then Draco wrapped his arms around Harry as he apparated the both of them to Diagon Ally.

Once they arrived, they both looked around and found that indeed Sunday afternoon on Diagon Ally was quiet. There were a few witches and wizards going about their shopping, but no one had really paid attention to two wizards apparating into Diagon Ally. Draco started out down the street with Harry close behind. They first stopped at the herb shop and Draco bought several herbs that he needed for potions class. Harry browsed around and bought a few things himself. Draco glanced at the items in Harry's hands and recognized them as ingredients for a sleeping potion. He twitched slightly, but he didn't ask. He remembered that Harry was loosing sleep a lot around the time that they split up and he had taken to making sleeping potions just so that he could get to sleep. Maybe he was just getting the ingredients to make sure he had them in his stores. Maybe he was just getting them as a back up plan. The next place was to Flourish and Blotts for the books that Draco needed. Both of them were browsing in the shop and they had gotten comfortable. Harry would curse himself for that later.

"You're Harry Potter!" shouted someone while Harry was looking at spell books in a forgotten corner of the shop. Harry looked up to see a starry eyed teenager who was pointing at him. The shop had five other people in it who all turned their heads and now saw the figure in the back. They all wore looks of starry eyed wonder and Harry felt like the shop was about to close in on him. Then he saw Draco rushing to the back. Draco took his hand quickly.

"C'mon, I've got the book, we can go now," said Draco in his ear. As they tried to make their way out of the store, the twenty people on the street were now pouring into the shop because they had heard Harry Potter was in the store. They were asking Harry things but Harry didn't speak to anyone. He tried to keep his grip on Draco's hand but the crowd was pulling them apart.

"Get out of the way you dirty Malfoy!" shouted one person as they finally separated Harry and Draco completely. Harry felt the panic building in his head and he turned and ran out the back door of the shop that the shop keeper was motioning to. In the empty ally way he heard the back door slam back and heard the shop keeper speaking to the crowd that was pushing to the back. Harry closed his eyes and apparated away from the ally.

Draco had been fully pushed out of the store but was still trying to fight his way back in. Suddenly the crowd was pouring back out and giving him dark looks.

"What's a Malfoy doing with the greatest wizard our time has ever known?" asked the man who pushed them apart. Draco shook his head and tried to ignore his comment. He found the shop keeper who pulled him to the side.

"I got Mr. Potter out the back door," he said to Draco in a low voice. "From there I think I heard him apparate."

"Thank you for getting him out," said Draco in a genuinely grateful voice. The shop keeper simply nodded and then turned to help another person. Draco got out into the street and tried to think of where Harry would go.

Harry had apparated up to the mountains near Hogwarts where he used to meet his godfather Sirius. He was wishing that his step father was alive now. Hid in the rocks he cried for the godfather who wasn't there. He cried because he wanted to be stronger than he was. He cried because he was tired of being the hero. After about fifteen minutes of sitting up there by himself crying, he heard the crack of someone apparating behind him. He quickly whipped around with wand in hand. When he saw that it was Draco he dropped his wand and fell to his knees. Draco quickly slid to his knees in front of Harry and held him before he could fall to the ground.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry," Draco whispered over and over to him. Harry couldn't do anything but cry.

"I'm so tired Dray," he whispered. "I'm so very tired. And so alone."

"You're not alone love. You have me."

"You're not the savior of the universe. You're not expected to be on display all the time. You're not expected to be perfect."

"You're right. I'm not. I'm the enemy. I'm the opposite of you. I'm the hated one. The one who does everything wrong. I know you're alone, but I'm alone too. Ironically, for the same reasons. We were just on opposite sides for so long that no one can remember that in the end I was on the right side. I'm alone with you my love." Harry tightened his grip on Draco's shoulders in response. His panic was slowly fading away and now he just wanted to be home with Draco.

"I want to go home," he muttered softly. "I want you to come home with me."

"Ok Harry, let's go home. I'm sorry I dragged you out of the house."

"It's not your fault Draco. I thought it would work. I thought I could make it. Sooner or later I want to get out of the house, I'm not intending on staying there forever. Everyone just kept trying to pull me out. You didn't pull me out, you just asked. And I wanted to get out. I thought it would work."

"It's my fault, I didn't hold on tight enough. I let you get too far away from me."

"It's not your fault. Never think it's your fault." Harry kissed his lover quickly and savagely. He needed to feel his lover next to him. He needed to get back to reality after the madness of the panic attack. "Please Draco, let's just go home." Draco nodded and gathered up Harry tightly in his arms. They shut their eyes and apparated back to Harry's house.


	4. Chapter 4

Dsiclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...

WARNING: gay relationship, some kissing, cuddling, crying, and sex in a tub. So, don't like it, don't read it.

* * *

Once back at the house, Harry went to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a sleeping potion.

"So, you're still drinking those," said Draco fighting to sound neutral. Harry looked at Draco and then back at the sleeping potion he had been depending on for several months to calm himself down and sometimes to get to sleep. It also came in handy when he needed to hide his emotions from everyone.

"Dray... I..."

"Please Harry, you use that to shut everyone out. I'm the only one here. Please don't shut me out this time." Harry stared at the bottle in his hand for a few moments before he reopened the medicine cabinet and put the bottle back on the shelf. He shut the door and looked at his reflection in the mirror on the door. His expression was haggard and he felt more tired than he looked. He saw Draco's face over his shoulder in the mirror and saw the concern on his lover's face. "Harry, please talk to me."

"I wanted to disappear today. Not like disappear for a while, or to some other place. I wanted to disappear forever. All those people, they all wanted to know and they all wanted something from me. One person actually pulled out a piece of hair once. He thought it could be used to create some kind of powerful protection spell. It didn't work. Just like I told him it wouldn't work. I just couldn't convince him that what he thought was wrong." Harry turned on the faucet, set his glasses on the side of the sink, and washed his face with the cold water. He turned off the faucet and felt a soft towel being put in his hand. He dried off his face and put his glasses back on. "Every time I go out and stuff like this happens, I just panic. I don't know what everyone wants me to be. I don't know if I can be everything everyone wants me to be." Draco put his arms gently around Harry's waist. "I don't even know what you want from me. Who you want me to be."

"I want you to be you. I want to be with you. I want you to be the man I fell in love with."

"I don't even know who that person is anymore. I feel like I don't know who I am."

"Why?"

"I've been so busy being everything everyone else wants me to be... or what everyone thinks I ought to be... or... you get the idea. What I wanted, who I am, got pushed to the side. And so did you." He reached for a pack of clove cigarettes on the sink and held out the open pack to Draco. Draco took one from the pack and so did Harry. Then Harry pulled out his red lighter and flicked it on so that they could both light their cigarettes. Harry leaned his back against the sink so that the two of them were finally looking at each other. He took a long drag from the cigarette and exhaled. Draco sat down on the edge of the tub and took in a long drag as well. "I remember wanting to feel nothing. Then I found the recipe for that sleeping potion. It seemed like a good idea when I had insomnia. But then it wasn't just insomnia. I was using it to calm down, to sleep, to keep everything out. I've always wanted to ask you something; how bad did I get?"

"Don't you remember?"

"Not every night. I made them stronger and stronger as time went on. How bad was I?"

"I think the worst was the last night I spent here. I was... well, I'll be honest, I was horny and I wanted to make the night special and be with you all night. When I came home you had drunk too much. I had to get you to vomit up all that you had drunk. Then you were mad at me and swung at me." Harry stared at him with wide eyes. "I ducked. You get good at that when... when you have a father like mine." Draco took in another long drag and exhaled. "After that, I put you to bed and you slept it off. I couldn't sleep all night. I just sat up in a chair staring at you and wondering what the hell I was going to do. I didn't want to be here anymore, but I was still in love with you. And well, you know the ending. The next morning you woke up and I told you that I was leaving. Didn't you ever wonder why I did it that morning?"

"I had been expecting it for months. After a while I just assumed that it was a matter of time before you left." Harry took a long drag off his cigarette and slowly exhaled. "Honesty is scary."

"True. But it's better than the way we were living. There were days that I wanted to scream or bleed or something just to get a genuine reaction from you. You were so determined to keep everyone shut out and never let anyone know anything. Even me."

"I felt so weak, tired, and lost. Telling anyone that was like betraying the great Harry Potter image. I was so desperate to keep up the facade that I would do anything I could to keep it. I couldn't admit anything, even to you. That would end the facade. And the walls that I so carefully built in order to preserve the image and keep everyone out and keep everyone from knowing what was really going on would come tumbling down to the ground." Harry took a long drag from his cigarette and exhaled slowly.

"And now?"

"The walls aren't gone Dray... but I've put in a door that you have the key to." Harry stared at the white tile floor not sure what to expect. "I know, it's not enough-"

"Harry, I'm glad that you can talk to me. I'm glad that there's a door that I have the key to. I'm not expecting everything to change over night. I'm not expecting you to take the walls down immediately. What you say is not enough, is incredible to me. You shut out everyone, but you let me in. It's more than enough, it's wonderful. Everything else will come with time." Draco was standing in front of Harry. Harry stared intently at the bare feet in front of him. He was afraid to look up. Afraid of such pure acceptance of what he could and couldn't do right now. He shut his eyes and shook with tears when he felt gentle lips on his forehead. The cigarette was taken from his hand. The sink behind him was turned on and he heard two sharp sizzles as the cigarettes were put out.

"I'm so scared..." Harry whispered. "Please... Draco I'm so scared."

"What are you scared of?" asked his gentle lover's voice.

"Myself. I'm so scared of myself. I'm scared of you."

"Why are you scared of me?"

"I let you in. I want you with me, I want to love you... but I'm scared of letting you down. I'm scared of what you'll find out. I'm scared of what you might do to me."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Hold me." He felt arms gently encircle him and hold him tightly. He buried his head in the familiar shoulder and let his tears flow down his cheeks. Draco's gentle hands stroked Harry's back. When the tears subsided, Draco gently sat Harry down on the toilet. Draco then ran a hot bath in the big bath tub. He threw in some bubble bath that was rose and sandalwood scented. While the bath was filling up, he turned and pulled Harry to his feet. He gently undressed the boy and set his glasses on the edge of the sink. Once the tub was full, he turned off the water and gently helped Harry into the tub. Draco got a sponge from the sink, soaked it with water, sat down on the side of the tub, and began to wash Harry's back. Harry shook his head and let out a half-hearted chuckle.

"What is it?" asked Draco.

"I don't deserve this... any of this."

"Yes you do. I love you."

"And I love you."

"That's all I have to know. I'll do this for you every night if you want me to."

"I'd like the chance to get to do it to you too."

"You will love. I want tonight to be about you." He felt the muscles in Harry's back tighten in reaction. "Calm down love, I don't want you to be anything other than yourself."

"And if I don't know who that is?"

"Be what you feel. And do what you want to do." Harry looked over his shoulder with a mischievous look in his eyes. Draco raised an eyebrow at him in response. Before he could get up Harry pulled Draco fully clothed into the tub with him. Water splashed on the floor of the bathroom and Draco's head went underwater. He came up spluttering and wrinkled his nose at Harry's satisfied look. Harry couldn't help himself and started giggling.

"Oh, so this is funny to you?" said Draco mockingly.

"Incredibly!" Draco splashed Harry in response. Harry splashed back and soon they were in a splash fight that sent more water all over the place. When both were soaked and laughing, they looked around and saw that the bubbles were all gone and while they'd splashed water everywhere, both were still up to their chests in water. Harry suddenly rushed forward and grabbed Draco in a fiery kiss that lit up all of his senses. Draco responded quickly and kissed him back with matching heat. Harry helped Draco pull off his water logged clothes and dropped them on the soaking wet floor. Now with both naked and in the hot water they began attacking each other's bodies in full force. Hands roamed over each other's bodies, they kissed fiercely, kissed and bit each other's necks, and dug their nails into each other's skin. At some point Harry pulled Draco into his lap and was ready to sink into the hot waiting body before him. He looked into Draco's eyes and tried to ask with his eyes if this was what he wanted. Draco kissed him gently and then sunk himself down Harry's hot length. Both broke the kiss to gasp with pleasure. Draco gripped Harry's shoulders to gain leverage and began a maddeningly slow rhythm. Both gasped and panted with the pleasure that they were feeling. Draco suddenly gripped Harry's shoulders a little tighter and quickened the pace.

"Oh Gods... yes... oh Draco yes..." murmured Harry.

"I love you Harry. I won't leave this time... I want you to remember that..."

"I know... Gods... I love you... oh yes..." Harry rammed into Draco and struck the secret spot that made his eyes roll back in his head and cry out in ecstasy. He rammed in a few more times before coming inside of his lover and catching Draco as he shook with the force of his orgasm. They held each other tightly for what felt like an eternity. Finally they unwound their limbs from each other and got out of the cooling water. After drying off, they both climbed into bed and wound themselves around each other again. Harry rested his head on Draco's chest and breathed in deeply. Draco pulled the blankets and quilt up over them.

"Why do you listen to me?" asked Harry as sleep began to over take him.

"Because it's better than being shut out."

"You should look for a normal boyfriend."

"The world ran out of normal boyfriends, and all the other boys are straight. Besides, you are the only one that I am in love with." Harry snuggled in closer to his lover and slowly fell asleep. Draco stroked Harry's hair and kissed the top of his head before he slowly drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... etc. etc.

WARNING: gayness, some description of bad stuff that happened while Draco was gone, Harry goes out of the house.

yeah, I have up to chapter 13 written so I'm just going to post all of it tonight. Get ready for an overload of fiction.

* * *

Harry woke up still clutched tightly in Draco's arms like something precious. He didn't want to leave the safety of those arms for anything in the world. He shut his eyes and snuggled back into Draco's chest.

"Intending on sleeping the day away are we?" said Draco softly. Harry smirked at Draco.

"You have got to stop waking up before me and just appearing to be asleep. It gets confusing."

"But you're so cute when you are just waking up."

"Am I now?"

"Yeah, like a little baby kitten or something like that." Harry couldn't help but giggle. "You twitch, you stretch, you slowly open your eyes and by the time you do that you all ready seem to know who and what is all around you. It's cute."

"So why do you keep acting like you're asleep?"

"Because... you see that I'm still asleep and you snuggle back down with me instead of getting up. So then I get to cuddle with you for a few more minutes." Harry felt tears stinging in his eyes and blinked them away. He kissed Draco gently as they slowly wrapped their limbs around each other.

"That's got to be one of the sweetest things I've ever heard... if not the sweetest," Harry whispered in Draco's ear. The two snuggled and kissed for a few long moments before Draco had to get up and get ready to go to Hogwarts to teach.

"Anything you have planned today?" asked Draco casually as he did every morning when he left.

"Some reading, some cooking. My intention was to stay in today and sort through things." Draco nodded along and didn't comment. "Sorry."

"Why?"

"I go out once and get scared so then I shut myself up again."

"It's an understandable reaction."

"But... I'm tired of this. I'm tired of shutting myself up in this cage."

"You could go out with a glamour spell on."

"Outside, but different cage. I want to be me." Harry sat thinking for a long time while Draco got dressed. "I may go out to London, just keep away from the magical parts. The only people who would mob me would be wizards and witches. They wouldn't try to do that in public, at least I hope."

"It would seem strange for people to mob someone that muggles don't know. It would raise suspicion."

"It's just another cage."

"Don't look at it that way. You can be yourself there. Maybe you'll remember who you are there. Granted you can't do magic, but maybe that's a good thing right now. It might give you some time away from everything here."

"But I'm with you and you're the potions master and I... don't know where I'm going with this objection... other than it will be difficult for you to live with me if I'm living in another world." Draco stared at a set of three small glass balls that were about the size of marbles on the dresser and had an idea. He picked up the three balls and levitated them. He walked over to Harry with the three glass balls.

"Ok, think of it like this." He tapped the first ball and it turned red. "This is the magical world, where I will be." He tapped the second ball and it turned blue. "This is the muggle world, where you might have to be for a while. If you get comfortable there, that's fine. You can live there forever if you want to." He tapped the third ball and this one turned purple. "This will be our world. The only people who exist here are the two of us. It doesn't matter that I'm in the magic world and you're in the muggle world. We'll be all right." He gathered up the three balls in his hand. He held out the blue ball to Harry. "Keep this with you." Harry held out his hand and Draco gently put it in the outstretched hand. He held up the red ball next. "This one I'll keep with me. And this one," he put the purple ball on the nightstand, "we'll keep here. We'll deal, we'll make it."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I love you." Harry let out a sigh of relief and kissed Draco gently.

"I love you Draco," he whispered with their foreheads pressed together. Draco gently kissed Harry one last time before he had to leave for Hogwarts.

"I'll be back at dinner time. I hope you have a good day."

"I hope you have a good day too. I love you."

"I love you."

Harry got dressed and ate some toast before he began to plan his day. He wanted to get some groceries, some new clothes, maybe some flowers, and maybe just peruse the shops. He was wearing a black button up shirt, a white under shirt, a pair of jeans, and tan boots.

"Now... to get to London quickly and quietly." He pulled a back pack onto his back and walked down the stairs and into the garage. He kept a car around for when he wanted to get to the muggle world. It was a '67 Mustang convertible that was in perfect condition. It was painted black and had a white interior. Harry climbed into the car and turned it on. The hum of the engine was soothing to him almost immediately.

"Right," he said to himself. "No problem. No problem. Just drive into town, stay away from the magical parts, don't do any magic, just shopping and such. I'll be ok." He calmly put the car in reverse and backed out of the garage. Then putting the car in drive he started down the road. He felt himself starting to relax as he got into the rhythm of driving. He turned on the radio and listened for a while. He came up to a line of shops that he knew and parked his car.

"Easy," he said with a sigh. "It's easy. Just get out of the car and walk into the clothing store." He looked up and saw that the clothing store was very crowded while the grocery store was much less crowded. "Or, get out of the car and walk into the grocery store. Get some groceries, get some flowers, pay, and then get back in the car, and go home." Harry put his hand on the handle of the door and paused. "God I wish I could get back to the days when I didn't have to give myself a pep talk to get out of a fucking car."

Harry wandered the grocery store for a while and collected up his groceries. No one really noticed him which was a relief. After getting everything he needed, he picked up a bouquet of six red roses from the florist department and then paid for everything and loaded up his car.

"See? Easy," he said to himself getting back into the car and turning it on. He drove back to his house and began to cook dinner almost as soon as he got home. He set the table with the roses in the middle. He sliced some vegetables and got out shrimp to make shrimp scampi. By the time he heard Draco floo in upstairs he had cooked everything including the pasta.

"I'm home!" Draco called from upstairs.

"How was your day love?" asked Harry while he lit the candles on the table.

"Ugh, it was horrible. Two first years decided to see what would happen if they threw all the herbs they could find into the same cauldron and instead of making a great potion they just created a big mess all over the dungeons. Even on the ceiling! I had to take twenty points away from Hufflepuff and give the two of them detention so that they could clean up the damn place. After that it was just all students trying to fumble through complicated potions and making an even bigger mess on the ceiling and..." Draco's voice trailed off as he got to the door of the dining room and Harry looked out of the kitchen at him.

"Something wrong love?" he asked casually. Draco looked up at him with a slight look of surprise.

"You did go out today."

"To the muggle world. Yeah. I took out my mustang." Harry turned back to his cooking and served up the food on two plates. "The clothing store was packed so I didn't go in, but I got a bunch of groceries and decided to make us-" After Harry put the pan in the sink he felt Draco turn him around quickly and Draco quickly kissed Harry full on the mouth. Harry ran his fingers through Draco's hair and moaned as the kiss deepened. "What was that for?" asked Harry breathlessly.

"I missed you today," said Draco still rubbing Harry's back. "I really... missed you. And I just wanted to let you know how much." Harry smiled and kissed his lover again before giving him a tight hug.

"Well, I made shrimp scampi, so I hope you're hungry."

"Starving. I'd love some food. Any food."

"Go sit down, I'll bring it to you." Draco sat down at the table and waited patiently while Harry brought in the two plates and set one in front of him and the other directly across from Draco. The two ate and laughed about the antics of Draco's classes.

"Sometimes I wonder how Professor Snape deals with all of them without blowing his head off. You know how his temper can flare up." The two giggled as Harry gathered up both plates. Draco's hand trailed along Harry's arm and lingered at the sensitive skin on the underside of his wrist. Harry's breath caught in his throat and he almost dropped the plates he was holding.

"Am I distracting you love?" asked Draco with an innocent face as he continued to manipulate the tender skin with his fingers.

"You know damn well what that does... to me," said Harry trying to maintain his grip on the plates. But once Draco put his mouth on the tender skin he just slammed down the plates on the table and gave into Draco's ministrations. Draco pulled Harry into his lap and moved up to Harry's neck. Harry let his head fall back and left his neck vulnerable to Draco's tricks. Draco quickly waved his hand at the plates and the plates went to be washed in the sink. He lifted Harry easily in his arms and carried him up the stairs into their bed room. He gently laid Harry out on the bed and slowly pulled off his lover's clothes. He kissed Harry's neck and worked his way down to his chest. He pulled off his shirt and pants quickly and the two began to rub against each other. Harry's skin was burning with the hands and mouth that were running all over his body. He felt himself riding away on wave after wave of pleasure when he felt a finger nudging at his opening. Suddenly his body tensed and Draco could feel it. He stopped and looked at Harry to see what was wrong. All he saw was Harry staring at him with wide eyes.

"Harry? Harry what's wrong?" Draco gently touched Harry's face but Harry flinched away from him harshly. "Harry speak to me." Harry moved away from the bed slowly and he retreated into a corner and folded up his knees next to his body. He rested his arms on his knees and rested his head on one hand. Draco pulled a blanket up around him but stayed on the bed and respected the distance that Harry put between the two of them. "Harry, please speak to me. Say anything. Say gibberish if you want to, but get it out."

"Draco you don't understand."

"No Harry, I'll be honest, I will never fully understand what you are going through, but I don't want you to just bottle everything inside. I want you to be able to tell me what you are going through. Even if I don't get it, I want to hear it. I want you to trust me."

"I... I do trust you Draco. It may not seem like it right now, but just the fact that you are living in this house is a sign that I'm starting to trust you again. It's just..." Harry hesitated and stared at the purple marble on the bed side table. "Things happened while you were gone Draco. Really... really bad things happened. I don't know if I'm ready to talk about everything that happened. And I don't know if I'll ever be ready. I don't even know where to start."

"Start, where ever you want."

"I was with someone after you. He treated me like the God of all wizards. What I hated the most. He actually treated me like the Golden Child everyone acts like I am. I was worshiped. I was taken out and strutted around from time to time. But the rest of the time I spent at home where it was believed I was just being a wizard in an ivory tower. Truth was Aranas kept me in that ivory tower."

"Is he the one who tried to use your hair as a potion?"

"Yeah. Never did work."

"What happened Harry?"

"He wanted to prove that my hair had magical powers to me. He made a potion. He said it was a protection potion. That it would protect him from anything. He took me down to the train station. He drank the potion, he stepped in front of the train before I could stop him and..." Harry swallowed and brushed away the tears on his cheeks. "They called it a suicide. I mean who in the muggle world would believe... so I just let it be." Harry looked up at Draco wrapped in the blanket and saw the sympathy he knew would be there. "He was a... violent lover shall we say. Don't get me wrong, I like a little pain, a little tying up, and a little blindfolding. You've known that for a long time. But there were a few nights that... that I said no and he ignored me."

Draco's hands tightened into fists and his eyes went wide at Harry's confession. Harry chewed at his fingernail and tried to calm his breathing but it wasn't working. He felt like the world was caving in and he knew only one person who could prop up the walls for him. He quickly got up off the floor, quickly walked to the bed and dived into Draco's waiting and extended arms. Draco quickly wrapped his arms around Harry's shaking form and wrapped the blanket around him as well.

"It's all right Harry," whispered Draco gently. "I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you." He laid Harry down next to him once again and pulled the rest of the blankets over them. He held his lover as he fell asleep and whispered to him before he fell asleep,

"It's all right. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up. I'll be here every morning. And I will always love you."


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...

WARNING: gayness approacheth, and a kidnapping... and bad stuff, so watch out.

* * *

Harry slowly woke the next morning with Draco's arms around him and Draco's body spooning up next to him. He sighed and said,

"Are you awake Draco?" He felt Draco sigh and then heard him reply,

"Yeah, why?" Harry rolled over in Draco's arms, buried his head in Draco's chest and wrapped his arms tightly around his lover.

"I was just wondering." Draco responded by hugging him tightly and kissing the top of his head.

"Are you okay love?" asked Draco gently.

"I just want to be here," whispered Harry. "I had nightmares all night."

"I know. You woke me up a couple of times. You would be shaking and I would hold you. It seemed to calm you down."

"Well, if I didn't wake up gasping, which I don't recall doing all night, it worked. What day is today?"

"It's Saturday. I don't have to get out of bed for anything." Harry smiled.

"Is that a suggestion?"

"It might be. It might not be. It all depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Well, right now, I just want to lay here and hold you honestly." Harry squeezed Draco a little tighter and snuggled in closer.

"Did you have any plans for today?"

"I need a few things from Diagon Alley. After that, my intention was to spend the day with you. Did you have any plans?"

"I was thinking of going into London today. Get a few things from the shops." Harry bit his lip slightly. "Would you like to come with me?"

"I was thinking about it. If nothing else, I've always wanted a ride in a mustang."

"Well, you're in luck. It just so happens that I own a mustang." Draco smirked and tickled Harry. Harry squealed and squirmed.

"All right! All right! I give in!" shouted Harry. Draco looked smug as he got out of bed and started to get dressed. "Where do you want to go first? Diagon Alley or London?" Draco pulled on his black pants and thought for a moment.

"I'm thinking London first. I'd like to see it. Would you like to come to Diagon Alley with me after that?"

"I might. I might put on a glamour spell so that I can go in unnoticed."

"Fine by me."

"Is it?" Draco furrowed his brow. He turned his head and saw Harry sitting on the bed in jeans and staring at his feet intently.

"What do you mean?" asked Draco.

"I'm going to Diagon Alley with a fucking glamour spell on. I must seem like such a coward."

"Harry, I understand. It's not a-"

"No. No you don't. I want to go to Diagon Alley with you, but I can't go there without a glamour spell."

"You don't have to go."

"Yeah, that looks real brave too." Harry swung his arm into the dresser and his wrist made a dull thud. "Real brave, just like everyone wants me to be." He hit his wrist into the dresser again.

"Harry, stop that."

"Why?" Harry's expression was dead. Draco grabbed Harry's wrist quickly before he could land it into the dresser again. He pulled up Harry's arm and exposed the scars that he had seen on the arm but had never commented on.

"Because I know what these are. I know what you are doing. And I know where it will lead you. It won't help anything."

"Can't I just hurt for a minute? Can't I just feel the same way on the outside that I do on the inside?"

"No, because you know what will happen. It won't stop. It will feel better for a second, but then you'll want more. You and I both know that." Harry pulled his arm away from Draco, put on a black t-shirt and a leather jacket.

"Give me a second, I'll be right there," said Draco.

"Don't," said Harry coldly.

"Harry..."

"I want to be alone right now. Ok? Meet me for lunch at the Two Roses. We'll talk then."

"All right. I love you."

"I love you."

Draco left Diagon Alley around noon and hailed a cab into London. The cab dropped him off at the restaurant. It was an Italian restaurant and it had tables outside. Draco looked for Harry outside but didn't see him. He walked in and the host at the door said,

"Good afternoon sir, table for one?"

"I'm meeting a friend actually. I thought he would be here by now though. Has a Harry Potter made a reservation?" The host looked at his list and nodded.

"Mr. Potter made a reservation for two at twelve fifteen. He hasn't arrived yet."

"All right."

"Would you like to choose a table or wait here until he arrives?"

"I'd like a table outside please." The host picked up two menus and gave him a table outside. He asked his waiter for a brandy and waited patiently. After a half hour and a third brandy, Draco was starting to get worried. Harry may have been mad at him, but he normally wouldn't be this late and he wouldn't break a date without sending word in some way or another. After another fifteen minutes he really started to get worried. He paid the waiter for his drinks and then found a quiet and empty alley to apparate away to their house.

The house was silent and cold. It was so eerie that it chilled him to the bone. He ran up stairs and all around the house looking for Harry, but he couldn't find him anywhere. He pulled open every closet, looked in every room, he even looked in the attic which they used for storage. But Harry wasn't there. He apparated to the place in the mountains where he used to meet Sirius Black, but he wasn't there. He apparated to Diagon Alley and asked around for an hour. But no one had seen him. He ran into Flourish and Blotts and asked the owner about Harry.

"He was here a few hours ago," said the owner. Draco stood stunned for a few moments. "I know, I was surprised to see him on Diagon Alley too. Especially alone. He was hiding under a cap mostly and dodging people. But then he left."

"Did he leave with anyone?"

"No, but there was a man who followed him out of the shop. I've seen him before. You've seen him before too."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember the day you were here with Harry? The man who pushed you out of the way and made comments as to why a Malfoy was near Harry. He was following Harry out of the door. I ran around the counter and went out the front door to try and warn Harry, but Harry was gone and the man who was following him was looking around confused like he was trying to find Harry. I guessed that Harry knew he was being followed and apparted out or slipped away or something. What's wrong?"

"I can't find him. He was supposed to meet me for lunch but he never did. He's not at home, he's not in any of the secret places he would hide... I'm going nuts here. I can't find him."

"All right, all right, calm down. It will be all right." He clapped his hands loudly and got the attention of everyone in the shop. "I'm sorry everyone, we are closed. Please make your purchases now and have a wonderful afternoon." Within five minutes everyone had filed out of the store and the owner put up the closed sign. "Come with me." He led Draco to Ollivander's wand shop. The shop was empty except for the old and bent wand maker behind the desk.

"Hello Percy," said the old wand maker looking up at the book store owner.

"Hello Perius," replied the book store owner. "We have a problem." Mr. Ollivander looked up with a raised eyebrow and then he saw Draco standing behind the book store owner. He snapped his fingers and the closed sign went up and the door locked.

"What is the problem?" asked Mr. Ollivander looking back down at his books.

"Harry Potter is missing."

"How do you know that?"

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy now have a relationship as you well know. Mr. Potter was supposed to meet Mr. Malfoy for lunch, but he never arrived. Mr. Malfoy has been searching for Mr. Potter now for a few hours but can't find him anywhere. Now I know that your wands have tracking spells on them Perius." Mr. Ollivander gave him an annoyed look. "If Mr. Potter has his wand, we can find him. He could be in serious trouble." Mr. Ollivander put down his pen and looked at Draco.

"Do you think that he is in trouble?"

"Yes."

"And will you ever tell anyone that my wands have tracking spells on them?"

"No, I will never tell anyone."

"All right." The old man got up and led them through the stacks of wands and into a back room. There was a large compass-looking table in the middle that came up to their waists. It was a black reflective surface with gold lines drawn from the middle to the edge. There was a brass arrow mounted in the middle. Mr. Ollivander tapped the arrow three times with his wand then said,

"Holly and phoenix, eleven inches." The arrow spun around so fast they could only see a brass blur. After about a minute the arrow began to slow down and then suddenly stopped. Mr. Ollivander squinted at the line the arrow was pointing to. "He's in the country side of England... oh dear."

"What?" said Draco wanting to see whatever it was that Mr. Ollivander was seeing. The old man tapped the table and suddenly they could see the image of a room. Harry was unconscious on the floor of the room. The man who pushed them apart in Flourish and Blotts was standing over Harry.

"Why are you with that foul Draco Malfoy?" said the man. He knelt down next to Harry and gently stroked his cheek. "He dirties your good name. He sullies your skin. He makes you impure. But that's what you are. You are pure. I will purify you. I will wash you clean of that horrible person. I will show the world the purity I see in you." Draco saw the man's hands moving to Harry's pants.

"Stop it," Draco said suddenly. "I don't want to see this." Mr. Ollivander tapped the table and the image disappeared. Draco clenched his fists and stared hard at the table in front of him.

"Why was he on Diagon Alley?" muttered the book store owner. The realization suddenly hit Draco.

"He was upset this morning about his life... that he couldn't be on Diagon Alley without getting mobbed... he must have come here to prove to me and maybe to himself that he could do it." He slid down the wall and sat on the floor with his head in his hands.

"Mr. Malfoy, I can give you an exact map to where he is." He looked up at Mr. Ollivander who was holding out the paper to him. He took it and stared at the map through the tears in his eyes.

"I feel responsible," said Draco.

"But you aren't," said the book man. "The man's name is Terias. He's a dangerous wizard, but he's not as good as you or Mr. Potter."

"I still need help," Draco murmured to himself. "And I know where to go." He stood up and said to the two men, "Thank you for all your help. I'm going to visit Professor Snape."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... etc.

WARNING: some gayness, a rescue, and back home again.

* * *

Draco went back to his and Harry's house where he quickly packed his bag with healing potions that Harry had made and then called his godfather through the floo system.

"It's late Draco," said Professor Snape's slightly irritated voice. "What is it?"

"Harry's been kidnapped," said Draco. Snape now looked at Draco with a slightly shocked expression.

"Is he all right?"

"I saw him. Mr. Ollivander, I can't tell you how, but he showed me Harry, and he was about to be raped by the man who's holding him. He gave me a location. But I want help. I want this person to get put away."

"I'll contact the ministry for you. Where is this place?"

"I have a map to the place. It's in the countryside outside of London."

"Come to my house Draco. We'll wait for the Ministry officers here. Then all of you can go get Harry." Draco nodded, pulled his bag on his shoulder, put his wand in one of the inner pockets of his traveling robe, and stepped into the fire. In a few seconds, he was in the living room of Professor Snape's home. Professor Snape calmly looked up from his book as Draco stepped out of the fire place.

"I've contacted the Ministry and they are sending a few officers over right now," said Snape putting down the book.

"You seem very calm about all this Professor Snape."

"What do you mean Draco?"

"Harry has never been your favorite person, and you've never made that a secret."

"True. And that has not changed."

"I was expecting you to at least grumble for a couple of minutes about the bother he was causing you."

"Draco, I am not blind. You love Harry. I've known this for a long time." Draco was looking at his godfather with wide eyes. "Believe me Draco, you don't hide it from me as well as you think. As much as I dislike Harry, I love you as my godson. You love Harry, and therefore I will tolerate him and when he is in trouble, like now, I will help you get him out of said trouble. I can't guarantee that I always won't grumble, but I will do my very best to remain neutral. And tonight you have caught me in a quite cooperative mood since I've been away from Hogwarts for the past couple of weeks thanks to you. I suppose that I owe you this." Three officers from the Ministry arrived through the fire just as Snape had finished. "Officers, this is Mr. Draco Malfoy. You will be accompanying him to the location where Mr. Harry Potter is being held. Then I predict that you will need to take Mr. Harry Potter to St. Mungo's to be treated for his injuries. Mr. Malfoy will go with you there and will most likely want to stay with Mr. Potter. Now if anyone has a problem with this, speak now." The room remained silent. "Very well, I am coming with you as well." Snape put his wand in the folds of his robe. After looking at the map, they decided to apparate to the place where he was being held. They joined hands in a circle and quickly apparated to the country side.

They landed on the hard ground together and silently began to advance on the house. Professor Snape and Draco chose to go through the front door while the others went around the back. Professor Snape went to the door and blew the door off the hinges with the force of his spell. Terias stood up from his chair and raised his wand at Draco.

"I will never let that evil son of a bitch have him," he said threateningly and pointing his wand at Draco.

"And I'll make sure that you never get out of Azkaban," Draco replied. "Expelliarmus!" Terias looked bewildered as his wand flew away from him and the agents from the Ministry burst through the back door.

"How... I have the Golden Child! His power protects me!"

"Petrificus totalus!" shouted Snape and Terias stiffened up straight as a board and fell to the floor. Draco began looking around for Harry. When he didn't see him right away he turned Terias over and shouted at him,

"Where is Harry?" Terias just smiled and remained silent.

"We have to take him to Azkaban," said one of the officers.

"No, I have to know where he is."

"We'll, find him Draco," said Snape calmly. "Let them take this demented idiot to Azkaban where he belongs. I'll help you search the house and I promise you, before we leave here we will find him." Draco grudgingly let them take Terias away. Once they were gone Snape and Draco began to methodically search the rooms of the house. After an hour of tearing the house apart they ended up right back where they started.

"He has to be here somewhere!" said Draco. "Harry! Harry! It's Draco! Harry please! Make a sound, send up a flare! Something! Harry!" Draco stopped yelling and listened hard hoping to hear anything. Snape tilted his head as if he heard something. "What?" asked Draco. Snape put his finger to his lips and knelt down to the floor and put his ear to the floor. Draco slowly knelt down on the floor as well and put his ear to the floor. That's when he heard a slow but steady knocking on one of the floor boards that sounded like it came from below.

"Mr. Potter, it's Professor Snape. If you can hear me, knock a little louder." The knocking stopped for a moment and then Draco heard the knocking come back and it sounded stronger and louder. "Get up," Snape said as he quickly stood. He stood back and pointed his wand at the floorboards. He raised his wand quickly and a whole section of the floor was ripped away. He tossed the boards off to the side and Draco rushed to Harry. He had been lying between the ground and the floor boards.

"Harry! It's all right; we're here to take you out of here." Harry put an arm around Draco's shoulders as he gently lifted Harry out of the floor and cradled him in his arms. He was trying to be gentle but Harry still winced and ground his teeth in pain. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry love. We're taking you to St. Mungo's, it will be okay."

"No!" said Harry gripping Draco's shoulder tighter. "Please don't take me there. Please. I just want to go home."

"Harry, you're badly hurt."

"And we both know how to make healing potions that will heal all of this. Please Draco, I don't want to go to St. Mungo's. I'm begging you, please don't take me there."

"Harry..."

"Draco," said Snape's calm voice, "if he doesn't want to go to St. Mungo's, I'm hesitant to force him into it. He's right though, if you need any help with healing potions, just let me know and I will give you anything you need."

"But... why Harry?"

"Draco, reporters can get into St. Mungo's," said Snape calmly. Draco looked down at Harry and realized why Harry was so scared.

"I don't want to face all of that," said Harry in a weak voice. Snape took a firm hold on Draco's and Harry's shoulders.

"Let's get back to my house and I'll give you all that you need. You can get back to your house from there." Harry nodded quickly and held on tighter to Draco.

Once they apparated back to Professor Snape's house, they laid Harry down on the sofa. Professor Snape examined him quickly with a spell and from that he and Draco packed a bag with a good amount of the proper potions.

"I'm giving you three bottles of Dreamless Sleep Potion," said Snape as he packed in the bottles. "I'm only giving you three because it's very addictive. But with what he's gone through he may need it at least once."

"Thank you. And thank you for all that you've done for us. I really do appreciate it, Harry does too."

"It's nothing Draco. As I said, you are my godson; I will help you whenever you need it." Draco put the bag on his shoulder and went back to Harry's side. Harry had fallen asleep but he knew that he would rather wake up at home than in Professor Snape's house. He gently touched Harry's shoulder and Harry suddenly jerked awake.

"It's all right love," said Draco gently. "I have everything we need, we're going home." He gently lifted Harry in his arms and they apparated back to their house.

He gently laid Harry down in their bed and set down his bag of potions on the bed side table. He pulled out the potions Snape had told him to use at first. He gently urged Harry up to a sitting position and sat behind him so he had something to lean back on.

"Ok, I have three potions here you need to take. This is the healing potion, another healing potion, and a blood replenishing potion." Harry took all three calmly and leaned back against Draco. "Harry it's your choice, but I have a Dreamless Sleep Potion, if you want it." Harry bit his lip gently in thought.

"Let's see how the night goes. If it gets too bad I may take you up on that offer." Draco nodded and got up from the bed. "Draco, I really want to have a bath. I'm stinky and yucky all over."

"Ok, you just lie back and rest. I'll run a bath for you and I'll come get you when it's ready." Harry laid back but held onto Draco's hand. Draco gently stroked Harry's forehead and said, "Don't worry, I'll be right back." He gently kissed Harry on the forehead and then walked away to the bathroom. He felt Harry's eyes following him around the room and tried to stay in Harry's field of vision as he ran the bath. He used some bath oil this time that was chamomile scented. Once he was happy with the temperature and of the water, he went back into the bedroom and gently helped Harry up to his feet and into the bathroom. He carefully sat Harry down on the toilet and helped him get undressed.

"Do you think you can get your legs over the sides?" said Draco doubtfully looking at the high walls of the big claw foot bath tub. Harry was looking doubtful himself and looked at Draco with an embarrassed look. "Don't worry about it, I can handle it." Draco took off his shirt, gently lifted Harry in his arms, and then gently eased Harry into the hot water. Harry winced and tightened his grip on Draco's shoulder. "You ok?"

"Yeah, just... stings." Draco nodded. He slowly immersed Harry in the water and gently supported him as Harry leaned back into the tub. Draco pulled out the same sponge he had used before and gently washed away the dirt and paid careful attention to the scrapes and bruises on his skin. He gently took off Harry's glasses and washed his hair.

"You want to go to bed now?" he asked gently.

"I just want to sit here for a while. It's really much more comfortable here." Draco nodded and sat down on a near by stool. Draco gently took Harry's hand in his and stroked his fingers. "Draco, you don't have to stay." Draco looked up at Harry with a confused look on his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Draco... at this rate, having sex with me is going to be... rough."

"Harry, I know that. I'm not going to break up with you just because of that."

"I don't want you to be unhappy."

"I'm not unhappy. Harry I love you. You're the only thing that matters to me. If it means that I'm going to be masturbating in the shower now and again, I don't care."

"But you should care. This isn't going to be easy."

"No, no it isn't going to be easy. But I love you. I want to stay. Unless you want me to go." Tears sprung up in Harry's eyes and he looked away from Draco.

"I want you to stay. But I'm scared that you're going to want to leave. And I want you to know that if you want to leave you can."

"Harry, look at me." Harry looked up at Draco's gentle and caring face. "Do you love me?"

"I love you with all my heart and soul."

"Do you want me to stay here with you, no matter what happens?"

"I want you to stay, yes."

"I love you Harry. And like I said, I'll stay as long as you want me to." Harry's fingers tightened around Draco's. "What is it?"

"Kiss me?" Harry sounded like a small child asking for a piece of candy. Draco gently tilted Harry's head up with one hand and gently kissed him on the lips. "I'm ready to get out now." Draco kissed Harry on the forehead and then gently lifted him out of the water. He carefully stood Harry up next to the sink so that Harry could lean on it while he gently dried him off with a big warm towel and then put some pajama pants on him.

After helping Harry to bed and making sure he was comfortable under the covers, he drained the water in the bath, dried himself off, and changed into some dry pajama pants. He waved his hand to put out the light in the bathroom, put on a log for the fire that night, and then he turned to the bed. Harry was all ready asleep which wasn't a surprise to him. He blew out the lamps in the room and left only the fire in the fire place casting any light on the room. He pulled the Dreamless Sleep Potion out of the bag on the bed side table and left it there in case he needed it in the middle of the night. Then he put the bag on his side of the bed under the bed side table on his side. He cautiously climbed into bed under the covers and stayed to his side of the bed. It felt weird to be so close to Harry in bed and not be cuddling with him. But he didn't want to wake Harry. He had finally closed his eyes when Harry woke with a scream. Draco's eyes snapped open and he saw Harry sitting upright.

"It's all right, Harry," said Draco in a gentle voice. Harry turned quickly and looked at his lover for a second with fear in his eyes. "It's me Draco," he said calmly and gently touching Harry's shoulder. "You're home, you're safe. It's all right." Harry leaned over onto Draco's chest and buried his face in the crook of Draco's neck. "I hope I don't seem like I'm jumping the gun here, but do you want that Dreamless Sleep Potion now?" Harry nodded his head quickly. Draco gently stroked Harry's back as he carefully leaned over and picked up the bottle from the table. He uncorked it quickly and handed the bottle to Harry. Harry stared at it for a moment and then looked at Draco.

"Draco... it's just for tonight I-"

"Harry, you've been through a lot in the past day. It's all right. I understand." Harry sighed and drank down the potion in one gulp. Draco put the empty bottle on the bed side table and then laid down on the bed with Harry settling on his chest. Draco put his arms around Harry gently and waited until Harry was asleep before he himself gave in to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...

mostly cuddles and kisses in this one, and several nightmares. And then a real kick to the face.

* * *

Draco was sitting by the fire watching the potion in the cauldron boil. He sighed and glanced at Harry who was still sleeping for now. They had managed to survive a week since Harry had been kidnapped and attacked. The man who had attacked him had managed to kill himself in Azkaban. Reportedly upon finding that Harry was not the Golden Child he believed him to be his world simply didn't work anymore and therefore his life was not worth living. Draco and Harry really didn't pay much attention to the news.

Harry had been plagued by nightmares ever since coming home. The Dreamless Sleep Potion that Snape had given them soon ran out. In the past four days, the two of them had barely slept. Draco had resisted making the potion. The night before it took Draco two hours to calm Harry down enough for him to go back to sleep. Both of them needed at least one night of constant sleep soon. They were getting irritable and arguing over the tiniest of things. When Draco and Harry got into a full fledged shouting match about where the remote was, he finally gave in and agreed to make the Dreamless Sleep Potion for Harry.

Draco rubbed his eyes and yawned as he stared at the cauldron. Once it turned the dark blue that was needed he gently took it out of the fire place, set it on the stone in front of the fire place and ladled it into several bottles. He put in the corks, cleaned the cauldron, and put the bottles in a little row on the nearby table. He sighed and leaned back in the chair. He closed his eyes and felt himself dozing off when Harry cried out in his sleep. Draco's eyes popped open and he immediately rushed to Harry's side.

"It's all right Harry," he said gently putting his arms around Harry's shoulders. "I finished the potion while you were sleeping."

"What time is it?"

"It's about five in the morning. You need sleep, probably more than I do. It will be all right, you can sleep the day away." He gently stroked Harry's hair while he leaned against Draco's shoulder.

"Gods Draco, I need help."

"I know, I know. I've made the potion for you. Just give me a second and let me get some of it for you. It will be all right."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I need this..."

"Harry, it's all right. I didn't know it was going to be this bad. Accio potion." One of the bottles flew off the table and into Draco's hand. He pressed the bottle into Harry's hand. "It's your decision, but you need sleep." Harry uncorked the bottle but then hesitated.

"Will you stay with me while I sleep?" he asked tentatively.

"Of course I will. I'll always stay with you." Harry drank down the potion quickly and put down the bottle on the bedside table. Draco cradled Harry gently in his arms and lay down on the bed with him. Harry was asleep within minutes. Draco watched him sleep for another half hour and wished that they didn't have to use the potion to get a decent night's sleep. But soon Draco was asleep as well.

Draco woke up at twelve noon. Harry was still asleep. Draco carefully got out bed making sure he didn't wake Harry. He stretched his arms to the ceiling and breathed deeply. He pulled a robe over his t shirt and sleep pants and made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He made himself a cheese sandwich and opened a soda for himself. He sat down at the table in the kitchen and ate. He started pondering what he was going to do today. Most of the day was gone, but he intended on making some potions. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs and turned towards the door. A sleepy-looking Harry shuffled into view and walked towards Draco.

"Have a good nap?" asked Draco quietly. Harry didn't answer but continued shuffling forward. "Harry?" Harry walked into the kitchen and pulled at Draco's chair until his legs were out from under the table. Then Harry stepped between Draco's legs and sat down on one leg. He put his head down on Draco's shoulder and put his arms around his lover with a tired sigh. Draco gently held his lover and stroked his back. "Are you all right love?"

"No. Draco, you are the master at potions and I'm sorry for making you feed my habit."

"It's not feeding a habit..."

"Draco, you don't have to finish that sentence. I was an addict when you left. I kicked it. And now I need it so I can get to sleep. It's stupid. I'm making you make me the one thing that drove you away."

"Harry, I understand why you're doing it. Before it was to shut everyone out. This is different."

"Is it? Really? People have said that nightmares are because you don't talk to anyone about what's happening in your head or in your life. You bottle it and let it fester. You let it go too long; things just get worse and worse."

"So, what do you want to do?"

"I'm not sure what to do. Do they even make psychiatrists for wizards?"

"Of course they do." Harry looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Granted, it's not the most publicized thing in the wizarding world, unlike the muggle world, but there are still psychiatrists for wizards."

"At St. Mungo's?"

"Yeah, there are one or two there. There are a few others in private practice as well."

"Great, back to the magic world again."

"I think only a wizard would be able to understand some of the things you've gone through. If you want, I have a friend who's a wizard and a psychiatrist."

"Would I have to go near the magic world?"

"Actually no, he keeps his practice in a quieter corner of London. It's part of his whole therapy for wizards. Take them out of the situation that is probably causing most of the problems and that makes them more comfortable."

"How close of a friend is this guy?"

"Since three years old. We talk a lot and one night I asked about why he does what he does and how he does it, and he told me. And no, the man was never my lover. We're best friends and he's currently married with two kids."

"I didn't-"

"It's ok Harry. I don't care." He gently stroked Harry's cheek with his thumb. "I love you." Harry suddenly leaned in and kissed Draco for the first time since the kiss he had asked for when he first got home. Draco was surprised at first but then just relaxed into the kiss. Harry clung tighter to Draco as the kiss deepened. Draco held him closer. Suddenly Harry pulled away, stood, and tried to get out of Draco's arms.

"Draco, if you love me, you'll let me go," said Harry in a dark voice. Draco realized his mistake and quickly let go of Harry's body. Harry stumbled across the kitchen and steadied himself on the counter. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"It just is. People never get over something like this quickly. Not even you my love."

"Why can't magic just fix this? I just want it fixed."

"There isn't a quick fix for this one. It just doesn't exist."

"What about the memory erasing spell?" Draco cringed.

"That can go badly easily. And further more it won't fix it. Your mind will still know something happened, but you won't be able to figure it out. And eventually you will have to remember again."

"I don't have to remember. I don't want to remember. I'm going crazy because I remember."

"And if you forget, you will go even crazier trying to remember."

"That's not going to happen!" Harry whipped around with fire in his eyes.

"Yes it is."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've seen it done! I had a friend who wiped the memory of getting raped from his mind. It didn't help. He still felt horrible, he just couldn't remember why. It drove him crazy for days. He started believing that he was just destined to be unhappy. He killed himself. I still blame the fact that he erased the memory instead of dealing with it."

"I'm not him. I won't care not remembering this. And I won't feel horrible once it's gone."

"Yes, you will. It erases the memory. Not the emotions attached to it. You have to believe me, this is a really bad idea."

"But... it's the perfect idea, the perfect escape."

"No, it's not. It won't work. It's never worked for anyone." Draco dropped his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. "Let me call my friend and I'll set up an appointment for you. Believe me, it's the best way."

"Fine," said Harry in a defiant tone and left the room. Draco sighed and watched as he quickly walked past him. It wasn't until he heard Harry slam and loudly lock the door to his room that he realized that Harry hadn't given up. Draco sprinted up the stairs.

"Harry! Harry no! Harry please no!" He beat his fists on the door and continued screaming and hoped that he could distract Harry so that he couldn't do the spell. But then he heard the snap of the spell and he stopped screaming and banging on the door. He backed away until he hit the wall. The door opened and Harry looked up at him. Harry looked at him with a confused look. Draco felt his stomach sink through the floor as his knees gave out from under him and he sank to the floor.

"Draco?" asked Harry with a confused expression on his face. "What's going on?"

"What...?" said Draco between panicked breaths. "What..."

"Why do I feel so bad... so very bad... I... my heart hurts..." Harry said this with a strangled voice.

"It's all right..." said Draco trying to contain his panic.

"What... day is today?"

"What's the last day you remember?"

"I... remember going shopping... getting some groceries and making shrimp scampi... was it good?"

"Yeah... it was good..."

"When was that?"

"A week and a half ago." Harry looked at him wide eyed. He stared at the wand in his hand.

"What have I done?"

"It's all right... we'll fix this."

"How?" Draco was at a loss for words. All he knew was that he had to fix this. Harry had done wiped his memory of the past week and a half. He was tempted to leave it. Then the image of his friend being lowered into the grave entered his mind. He knew this couldn't be left.

"I don't know... but we'll find a way." He slowly stood, walked to Harry cautiously, and held him.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...

Ok... now we're in the hospital and trying to get Harry to remember. I looked this one up in one of the books, you can retrieve memories, it just takes alot of time. So, slowly but surely everything will come back whether he wants it back or not.

* * *

Draco slowly made his way up to the fifth floor of St. Mungo's Hospital. Harry had been hospitalized at St. Mungo's for the past two weeks. He had been given his own private room because of the press and fans trying to get near him. By now the nurses and doctors knew Draco and didn't question his presence in the hospital anymore. Despite the fact that Harry had erased his memories, he still had nightmares. Often Draco spent every night with him and would hold him through the nightmares that left Harry crying and asking why he was having these nightmares that were so horrific and terrible. Draco could only hold him. He had been given strict orders to never tell Harry what had happened. They had to slowly bring back the memories for fear that Harry would have a mental breakdown if told too quickly about everything.

Tonight Draco expected to be no different. He came up to the private room and looked through the window. Harry was lying in bed on his side. There was a doctor in the room who had his back to the door. Draco softly knocked on the door. The doctor turned and he recognized his friend, Anthony Kobayashi. Anthony beckoned to Draco and he opened the door.

"Tony, I was wondering when they were going to call you," said Draco with a smile on his face. They gave each other a hug while Harry looked on with curiosity.

"Well, considering Harry's condition I had to be called in eventually. They told me you were spending a lot of time here."

"Well, considering Harry's condition, yes." Anthony smirked and let Draco walk past him.

"Hello love," said Draco gently holding Harry's hand and kissing him on the cheek.

"Hello love," Harry replied with a distant smile. "I'm guessing you know Dr. Kobayashi."

"As a matter of fact yes. We're old friends. Our families were friends." Anthony was the first to smirk and let out a small chuckle followed closely by Draco's own chuckle. "When Voldemort came around the first time, they became mortal enemies. Afterwards, they tried to be friends again. Tony and I became friends out of spite it seems. We've known each other since we were three."

"Oh, well that explains that. How was your day?"

"Normal day. First years messing things up, older students making stupid mistakes, and Snape wringing his hands once again about the ceiling. That poor thing has taken so much abuse." Harry gave a half-hearted chuckle. "How was your day?"

"Not the greatest day. I keep feeling terrible. I... just don't know why."

"I know love, I know. It will be all right."

"It's time for your sleeping medication," said Anthony.

"All ready?" said Harry with some fear in his voice.

"Just remember what we talked about. Once you wake up, write down the nightmare. Write down every detail there is to it, don't be afraid to write out everything."

"Even if there are some really... disgusting things..."

"I've been in the therapy business for a while now. Believe me, I've heard a huge range of disgusting things. You can't shock me." Anthony put an open vial on the table. Harry looked to Draco for confidence and Draco gently squeezed his hand.

"It's all right. Go ahead and take the medicine." Harry swallowed down the medicine and winced at its bad taste.

"Draco, can I speak to you outside for a moment?" Draco nodded, kissed Harry on the forehead, and then followed Anthony out the door.

"Draco, I need you to leave Harry alone tonight." Draco looked up at him with a shocked expression.

"Tony have they told you how bad his nightmares can get? That sedatives don't calm him down? That I'm the only who can calm him down?"

"Yes, they have told me. But you have to understand why. Those nightmares are the only link he has to those memories that we are trying to bring back to the surface. When you are here and he wakes up from these nightmares, you hold him and calm him down and he slowly forgets the nightmare. I need him to remember the nightmare. That's why I told him to write it down the minute he wakes up so that he will have it on paper. It won't just be a nightmare in his head."

"But, I could stay and get him to write it down."

"Draco, if you stay he isn't going to want to write it down. He is going to want you to comfort him and take care of him and tell him everything will be all right and help him forget the nightmare he just had. You know that more than anyone else." Draco was angry, but not as angry as he was about the fact that his long time friend was right.

"I haven't left him alone for one night since he's gotten here. What is he going to think?"

"He will probably be angry with you. But he'll understand later. I told him that I want him to write this stuff down, and I also said that it might be best that you not be here. He was upset with me. He'll be less upset with you."

"So you're fine with him being mad at you I guess.

"Every one of my patients is mad with me at some point for what I've had them do. It's a normal thing. They all get over it sooner or later." Draco stared at Harry through the window for a moment. "Let me take you out to dinner tonight. Give him a chance to get to sleep. If things get out of control the hospital has strict orders to contact me immediately. If that happens then I will contact you. Then both of us will come back here and we will take care of him. It's going to be all right."

"That's what I keep telling him. I don't think he believes me anymore."

"He does. He loves you Draco. He believes you when you say that everything will be all right. He believes that whatever it is that's going on, you will get him through it."

"He told you all of this?"

"Do you want his exact words? He told me he loves you. He told me that you make him feel safe. He told me that even when he feels terrible, once you walk through the door he knows that everything will be all right. That's just how much he loves you. I almost envy him."

"Almost? You're the one with the marriage."

"I know. And my wife and I are incredibly happy and in love. But I remember." Draco looked up at Anthony for a moment and then looked away. "I remember that you were in love with me once. I did feel bad that I couldn't return that love. I'm glad that you found someone. Seeing now who you've become and the kind of love that you can give to someone, it makes me a little sad that I wasn't able to be your lover."

"It's for the best really. I didn't become a kind and gentle lover until Harry came along. When I fell for you, I could be very cruel to my lovers. You probably would have dumped me within the week if you had decided to be with me. It doesn't matter now. I love Harry. I love him with every fiber of my being. I should go in and tell him I'm not staying with him tonight before he goes to sleep." Anthony nodded and Draco quietly walked back in. "How are you feeling sleepy head?" said Draco ruffling Harry's hair.

"I think I'm going to sleep soon. Please say that doc didn't convince you to leave for the night."

"Harry, it may not seem like it now, but it's for the best."

"No! Please, please don't leave me."

"Harry, I'll be one call away. Tony and I are going out for dinner to catch up on old times. If things get too bad, the hospital will call Tony and then he will come get me and we'll come back here and take care of you. Everything will be fine."

"I don't want you to leave."

"I have to leave love. You know why. If it's too bad, just tell the nurse to get Tony and me. I'll be back before you can say apple tart."

"Apple tart." Draco leaned over and kissed Harry on the forehead.

"Go to sleep my love. Write down the nightmares you have. If it's still too bad, call for me, and I'll be here. I promise." Harry's eyes slowly closed as the sleeping potion took affect. Draco gently slipped his hand out of Harry's and walked out the door.

"So," he said as he turned to Anthony, "where are you taking me to dinner so I can get my mind off of leaving Harry alone for a night."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter

WARNING: description of nightmare that is really memory. yucky stuff, then cuddles and remembering and all that great junk.

* * *

Draco nervously fiddled with his fork in the restaurant. He was only half listening to what Anthony was telling him about his wife and how his life is right now. The other half of him was worried about Harry. Harry hadn't been able to sleep through the night without a dreamless sleep potion in two weeks. Now they had just given him sleeping medication that would still let the nightmares come.

"Draco," said Anthony patiently. "He's fine."

"Are you sure?" said Draco realizing what his friend was now talking about. "How can you be sure?"

"Because he is in a hospital. If he needs us, the hospital will call. You have to trust me on this one."

"You know me and trust."

"Yes, I know. But you trust Harry."

"Yes. I love him."

"How has your life been since Harry got raped?" Draco sighed and rubbed his tired eyes.

"It hasn't been easy."

"But you know him and you know that he's going to get better. You trust him to have that kind of strength."

"Tony I'm not sure if either of us has enough strength anymore. I know things are going to get worse before they get better. But this is about to kill him as is. I just don't know anymore." Their food arrived and for the most part they ate in silence. Eventually Anthony got Draco onto the subject of the potions classes he was teaching and the different potions he had been working on. For a little while Draco did relax and they managed to catch up on old times. But then an owl flew into the restaurant and landed on Anthony's chair. Anthony took the letter from the owl's beak and opened it.

"We have to get back to the hospital," said Anthony suddenly and putting money down on the table.

"What's happened?"

"Harry had a nightmare. The nurse says that he managed to write it down in full detail before he broke down into hysterics. I guess the sleeping potion was still in effect to some degree when he was writing it all down." The two put on their cloaks and ran down the street towards St. Mungo's. The whole way there Draco was trying to shout to Harry mentally,

"Don't worry Harry! I'm here! I'm coming!"

Harry found himself in an old looking house. He glanced around and didn't recognize anything. When he turned around he saw a beaten and shivering body on the floor. The body looked so familiar. Harry slowly walked around the body and gasped when he saw the face. It was himself! He was lying on the floor with cuts and scrapes on his arms. A man came in slowly from a room nearby and walked to the body.

"Why are you with that foul Draco Malfoy?" said the man. He knelt down next to the body and gently stroked the cheek. "He dirties your good name. He sullies your skin. He makes you impure. But that's what you are. You are pure. I will purify you. I will wash you clean of that horrible person. I will show the world the purity I see in you." Harry watched in horror as the man pulled the clothes on of the body. Then he undid his own pants and began to rape Harry. "I will purify you," the man growled in his ear. Suddenly Harry could feel the pain. He wasn't standing over the body anymore. He was the body. "I will show the world what you can do. I share your power now. No one else can love you like I do." The man's thick hands caressed Harry's skin roughly and Harry begged in his mind for it all to be over. When the man came inside Harry with a strangled cry Harry shut his eyes and let tears stream down his cheeks. He wished for Draco. "Draco will never love you now," said the man in his ear. "The only one who can love you is me. I'm the only one who knows how to love you. I'm the only one who is devoted enough and pure enough to be with you." Harry still begged for Draco in his mind. He felt a blow to his head and then…

He quickly sat upright in his bed at St. Mungo's. He reached to the chair nearby for Draco as he had done every night, but Draco wasn't there. Then he remembered what Draco had said to him before he left.

"_Write down the nightmares you have. If it's still too bad, call for me, and I'll be here. I promise." _

Harry turned on the lamp on the bedside table and reached for the notebook and pen on the bedside table. He quickly began to write everything out. Every single detail. He could still feel the wooden floorboards below him, he feel the pain his body, and he could still hear the man's voice. It almost felt like the dream hadn't ended. Even when he was done writing it all down, he could still hear and feel everything. Once he was done, he put the notebook and pen back on the table. And that was when the tears came. He pushed the button to call for the nurse.

"What's wrong darling?" said the kind nurse who walked in.

"I was raped…" Harry managed to croak out between sobs. "I was raped… Please, get me Draco." The nurse nodded calmly and walked to the doorway. He could hear her speaking to another nurse and he prayed that they were going to get Draco.

"We're sending word to Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Kobayashi right now," said the nurse returning to his side. "Do you want me to stay here until they get here?" Harry nodded as his cries turned into hysterical sobs. He choked and cried and tears streamed down his cheeks. The nurse held his hand gently but he didn't let her get any closer. Somewhere in his mind he thought he could hear Draco calling to him, "Don't worry! I'm here! I'm coming!" but he half expected it to be a dream. Then seconds later he heard two pairs of feet running down the hall way and Draco appearing at the door in his black cloak like an avenging angel.

"Draco!" Harry cried out when he saw his lover in the doorway. Draco quickly rushed to Harry's side and held him tightly.

"It's all right Harry, it's all right," he said to Harry gently while rocking him.

"Draco…" said Harry gently pushing Draco an inch away from him so that he could look up at his lover's face. "I was raped… wasn't I?" Draco bit his lip in indecision and looked to Anthony. Anthony had been reading the words in the notebook and when he heard the question he nodded to Draco.

"Yes love, I'm sorry. But yes you were raped."

"When…?"

"About three weeks ago now. You erased your memory of it." Harry gripped Draco's shoulder tighter and looked his lover in the eyes.

"Do you still love me?" he ground out as loudly as he could with his horse voice. Draco stared in disbelief.

"Of course I still love you Harry. You have my heart. You always have and you always will."

"He told me that you wouldn't love me anymore. He told me… when he raped me… that you wouldn't love me anymore."

"Harry that was a lie. A cruel and terrible lie. I love you just the same as I have always loved you. That's never going to stop." Harry moved over on the bed and Draco knew what Harry wanted now. He sat on the edge of the bed, toed off his shoes, and lay down on the bed next to Harry. Harry laid down on Draco's chest and felt safer with Draco's arms wrapped securely around him. He still shook and whimpered from time to time but Harry had finally calmed down and was soon asleep in Draco's arms. Anthony gently pulled the blankets up over the two of them and patted Draco on the shoulder.

"I'll be back in the morning to see how he's doing. You should get some rest too."

"I will. I've been sleeping with him like this every night since I brought him here. Please don't make me leave him now."

"No, I think it's best that you stay with him. In the morning things will look rougher, and he will need you. I'll bring you some breakfast."

"Thank you, Tony." His old friend smiled at him, turned out the lamp on the table and then quietly shut the door. Draco ran his fingers through Harry's hair one last time before he drifted off to sleep as well.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...

WARNING: gayness approacheth, just a cute sex scene between the boys. I figured they needed a break after all the crap I put them through.

* * *

A week later Harry was released from the hospital. The vast majority of the memories had come back once he remembered the rape. There were a few little things like the name of the restaurant he was going to meet Draco at the day he was kidnapped and what shirt he was wearing when he wiped his memory, but as the details were of hardly any consequence everyone was satisfied to simply remind him of the facts when he asked. Harry had a standing appointment with Dr. Kobayashi every Tuesday morning.

Draco was making dinner for them the night he brought Harry home. He was hoping that things would be better now that they were home again. Draco was watching the chicken cook in the pan when he heard Harry coming down the stairs.

"That smells good," said Harry coming up behind Draco.

"I hope so," said Draco looking at the pan. "I'm not quite the cook that you are." Draco felt arms go around his waist and almost jumped.

"Easy," said Harry gently in his ear. "It's only me." Harry gently kissed the nape of Draco's neck. Draco had been craving Harry's touch for weeks but he knew that Harry wasn't able to give it. Now with Harry's arms around him and Harry's lips on his neck he wanted to forget all about dinner and remember what it was like to be with Harry.

"If you keep doing that we're never going to get to dinner," said Draco slightly hoping that Harry wouldn't stop. Harry's hands moved up to Draco's shoulders and he began to nibble on the sensitive flesh. "I'm serious... Harry..." he whispered. Harry reached down and turned off the heat on the stove. Then he took the pan from Draco's hand and moved it to the back of the stove.

"I'm not very hungry right now..." said Harry quietly. "At least not for food." Draco let his eyes slip closed as Harry gently turned Draco's head and kissed him on the mouth. "You on the other hand, will satisfy my appetite quite nicely." Draco laughed at the devilish grin on Harry's face and then turned so that he was facing Harry.

"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively.

"Honestly, I only know that I can't have you make love to me right now." Draco nodded in understanding. "But I'd like to make love to you. If that's all right with you." Draco kissed Harry soundly and the two of them rested their foreheads together.

"You know better than anyone that I love it when you make love to me, just as much as when I make love to you. I just want you, anyway, anywhere, anytime." Harry kissed Draco gently and then took him by the hand and led him upstairs to their bedroom.

Once he got Draco alone in the room he quickly pulled off the clothes that were in his way. He spread his hands over Draco's skin and relished in the feel of his lover's skin. Draco who's hunger for Harry had been sharpened beyond what he thought was possible was now in ecstacy with just Harry's hands and mouth on his skin. Once Harry had stripped himself of clothing the two tumbled into bed together.

"Oh gods... Harry please... please please please I'm begging you."

"Shhh... calm down." Harry pulled the lube from the drawer and quickly lubricated himself and Draco. He kissed Draco gently before gently pushing into him. They interlaced their fingers and stared into each other's eyes as Harry gently pressed into him.

"Harry... gods... oh Harry..." Harry leaned down and kissed Draco deeply as the two quickly came to a climax.

"Well then," said Harry rolling onto his side next to Draco.

"Yeah," said Draco. They both laughed until they almost cried. Harry snuggled on Draco's shoulder and let out a content sigh. "Well then, you seem very pleased with yourself."

"I am." Draco chuckled at the devilish grin that Harry was once again wearing on his face.

"I'm really glad that you're feeling better." Draco pushed an strand of hair out of Harry's eyes. Harry pushed himself up on one elbow, rested his cheek on his hand and let his other hand draw lazy patterns on Draco's chest.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been the best lover lately. I'm sorry that I haven't really been the best... anything lately."

"Harry..."

"No, I want to say this. Even with everything, even with all the stuff that I had to go through, I still loved you. I just couldn't show it the way that I wanted to or the way you wanted me to. And I just want to tell you... thank you for staying with me." Draco smiled and gently stroked Harry's cheek.

"I love you, Harry. And you asked me to stay. I wasn't going to leave you." Harry kissed him once again before he put his head back down on Draco's shoulder. "So, dinner?" Harry snuggled down into Draco's shoulder and shook his head.

"Not right now. I just want to stay here." Draco smiled down at Harry and held him a little closer.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

WARNING: gay cuddling and kissing, and Harry's leaving... not the way you think, but we'll see how I get through this one.

* * *

Harry was the first one to wake up in the morning. He looked over at Draco sleeping and smiled. With the sunlight coming in from the window on Draco's blond hair and white skin he looked like the son of angels. Harry gently leaned in and kissed Draco on the lips. Draco stirred slightly and Harry pulled away for a moment. 

"I didn't say stop kissing me," said Draco in a sleepy voice. Harry smirked.

"How long have you been awake?"

"I woke up when you kissed me."

"Really?" Draco smiled and nodded.

"Yes, really. And you know what I was thinking?"

"What was that?"

"I was just thinking that I could wake up every morning like that. I can't think of a better way to wake up than feeling your lips on mine. Knowing that you are here with me and that you love me. I could spend the rest of my life in your kiss... and in your arms." Harry didn't quite know what to say so he simply put his arms around Draco's shoulders and kissed him again. They gently made out for several minutes when suddenly they were interrupted by sounds outside.

"Oh gods..." said Harry shrinking into his own world and shrinking away from Draco. Draco got out of bed and wrapped a robe around himself. He stayed to the side of the window and carefully peered out. Sure enough, there was a crowd. Somehow they knew that Harry was back from the hospital. Draco spelled the curtains closed all through the house and locked them shut with a few spells. He sighed and looked at Harry who was curled up in the fetal position under the covers. He knew this wouldn't help Harry's whole fear of going out. Now Harry wouldn't even be able to get to the muggle world without being swamped by reporters. But he didn't want Harry to be withdrawn from him again. Draco then walked back to the bed and sat on the bed next to Harry.

"Harry," Draco said firmly but calmly. "C'mon Harry, you can't hide forever."

"Why not?" said Harry with tears in his voice. "Why can't I just hide away forever? I'm tired of everyone... everyone in the magic world... why can't I just be left alone to live my life?"

"You deserve that. You do deserve that. But please don't shut me out again." Harry shuddered slightly and the slowly sat up. Draco felt bad for Harry seeing his tear stained face. He gently dried the tears from Harry's cheek and kissed his closed eyelids.

"I'm just so tired of this. I'm so tired of living like this. There has to be somewhere that I can go and just live. I just want to live in peace and quiet with you. I want you with me and I want to be able to walk out of my house and work in my garden without avoiding reporters and all these people who think they should follow me. Draco..." Harry gently touched his lover's face and tried to form his feelings into words.

"It's all right," said Draco gently. "I know. I know." They kissed each other gently and Draco gently held Harry in his arms.

"I could make us some breakfast and bring it up here," Draco said after gently running his fingers through Harry's hair for a while. "Would you like that?" Harry nodded but he didn't let go of Draco.

"Later," he muttered quietly. Draco didn't argue and just held Harry a little tighter.

After breakfast, Draco and Harry laid together in bed for a long time. They couldn't go outside the house easily with all the people outside. So they decided to spend the day inside. While Harry gently traced patterns on Draco's back, he said,

"Draco, I've been thinking."

"Oh?" said Draco quietly. He wasn't sure what Harry was going to say, but he hoped that whatever it was it involved the two of them staying together.

"I'm going to talk to some of the people I know at the Ministry of Magic."

"What about?"

"About... relocating somewhere. Somewhere that no magic person will ever know. Some place where I can live with you for the rest of my life in peace."

"Do you think it can be done?"

"I hope so. I don't want to live like this anymore. It's too much. I just want to be left in peace now. I want to be left alone." Draco rolled over onto his back and looked up into Harry's eyes. He gently stroked Harry's cheek with his hand.

"All right. Let's see if it can be done." Harry kissed Draco on the lips and then snuggled down into his shoulder. Draco gently encircled Harry in his arms and tucked Harry's head under his chin. Draco thought silently to himself. Maybe they could go somewhere else. Maybe it was possible to do this. They would just have to see.

When Draco woke up from an afternoon nap, he found himself alone in bed. Harry wasn't in the room. Draco wrapped a robe around him again and peeked outside. The crowd hadn't moved so Harry hadn't gone outside. He quietly moved out of the room and started looking around the house. Then he heard voices coming from the study. The door was slightly open.

"No Neville, it has to be the both of us," he heard Harry saying in a firm tone. It almost shocked Draco. He hadn't heard Harry speak so firmly about anything in months. He peered through the door and saw Harry pacing in front of the fireplace. He could see Neville Longbottom's face in the fireplace.

"Harry, it would be easy to get you relocated. But there wouldn't be any reason for Draco to be relocated as well. We can get you out easy. It will be secret. No one in the magic world will ever know where you've been taken or what happened. No one can know or the spell will be broken. You won't be able to communicate with anyone from your old life, at least not for several years."

"What do you mean?"

"As the spell gets older, it gets stronger. After ten years, you can communicate with close friends from your past without anyone else knowing. If you came back to the magic world, only the people who know you would recognize you. As the spell gets older only people who you want to recognize you will. Everyone else will just see you as another wizard passing by and nothing else. But you have to wait ten years before you talk to anyone else."

"I can't live without him for ten years."

"Why do you want him relocated with you anyway? What's-"

"I'm in love with him Neville! All right? I love him. I can barely exist without him for a few days. Ten years... you might as well give me the killing curse now." He flopped down into the chair near by and rubbed his forehead with his hand. Draco felt something in his chest twitch upon hearing Harry wish a killing curse on himself instead of being apart from him.

"Harry... I know that you can get out. Let me look into it. Let me see if there is a provision for... spouses or something."

"He's not my husband. He's just my life." Draco involuntarily gasped when he heard Harry say that.

"Let me check on it. I'll call you back when I know something."

"Thanks, Neville." The fire returned to normal and Harry remained in his chair. Draco slowly opened the door and heard it creak. Harry looked up quickly and their eyes locked. Harry fell back into the chair with a defeated sigh.

"How much did you hear?" he asked quietly.

"I came by when you were talking to Neville and saying that it had to be the both of us. And the part where Neville told you that the spell gets stronger as it gets older." Draco slowly started to walk towards Harry. "And the part that you have to wait ten years before you can talk to anyone from your past easily. And the part where you told him that you love me. And that living without me for ten years... well you mentioned something about the killing curse. Neville said something about checking about provisions for spouses. And then the part that really knocked the wind out of me." Draco kneeled down next to Harry's chair and took a deep breath. "You said that I'm not your husband, I'm just your life."

"Because you are." Draco looked up and saw Harry staring straight into his eyes. "Worlds may fall down, civilizations fall, spells fail, friends die, family isn't always constant, but I would be able to live through it all as long as you are with me." Draco felt his throat tighten again and tears spring to the back of his eyes. Harry gently touched Draco's cheek and leaned in to give him a gentle kiss. Draco let his eyes shut and got lost in the kiss. He felt tears slip down his cheeks and he whimpered softly as Harry began to rub Draco's neck. When the kiss ended, Harry gently dried the tears from Draco's cheeks and kissed him on the forehead. Draco rested his head on Harry's lap and began to calm as Harry gently stroked his long blond hair and hummed softly.

"What if the only person who can come with you is your spouse?" asked Draco quietly. Harry didn't answer right away. He reached his hand into his pocket and fiddled with something for a few moments before saying,

"I have an idea." Draco slowly lifted his head and looked up at Harry.

"What idea?" Harry pulled his hand out of his pocket and held something tight in his hand. Harry slowly opened his hand and showed Draco a slim gold wedding band.

"It was my Dad's," said Harry softly. "I always wanted to get married with it. I figured that I should give it to you... when I wanted to marry you." Draco looked up at Harry with his hands over his mouth. Harry slowly kneeled down in front of Draco with the ring still held out in his hand. "It's not that I can't relocate without you if you're not my spouse. It's that I can't live without you. It's that I want to spend every waking moment with you. It's that I never want to be without you again. I did that once, and it nearly killed me. I had hoped to ask you this once we were out in the country and away from everything here. But I can't wait ten years to ask you this. And that's bumped up my schedule a bit. So, will you marry me?" Draco couldn't form words. His throat was closed and his brain wouldn't form the words that he wanted. Finally he just took the ring from Harry's hand and put it on his finger. Harry took his hand that now wore the ring and kissed it gently. The first thing that Draco finally uttered was a quiet sob of surprise and joy. Harry picked up his head again and gently kissed Draco. The two gripped each other tightly and kissed desperately.

Eventually Harry was leaning against the chair he had been sitting in with Draco curled up on his chest. He gently ran his fingers through Draco's hair while Draco drew tiny patterns on Harry's shoulder with his fingertips. They both heard the floo and knew that it was Neville calling back. Draco started to pull away but Harry held him fast to his shoulder.

"Hello Harry, hello Draco," said Neville calmly from the fireplace. He didn't seem surprised at Draco's sudden appearance so they didn't mention it.

"Hello Neville," said Harry. "What's the news?"

"I'm sorry Harry, but not even a spouse can be relocated with you." Draco's eyes shut and he held onto Harry's shoulder. "There is one thing though."

"What's that?"

"For this spell, it's the Locus Latere spell... it's like a fidelius charm. There has to be a secret keeper. The secret keeper knows where the person is and is the only one who can visit them. The secret keeper can't live with them, and can only visit like once a month, but once the ten years comes up then the secret keeper can live with you easily. It's just during that first ten years that the spell is fragile and can easily be broken. If the secret keeper stays with you for more than two days then the spell breaks from the inside." Harry looked down at Draco and thought to himself.

"Give me a day to think about it."

"I'm sorry I couldn't find anything better for the two of you."

"It's all right. Thank you for looking though. I'll call you when I've made a decision." He waited until Neville's face had disappeared from the fire before turning back to Draco who was still in his arms.

"Two days a month for ten years," said Draco quietly doing the math in his head. "Twenty four days a year. Two hundred and forty days in ten years. That's not even a year."

"I know... we don't have to take it."

"But Harry... I keep thinking that the only way this will work is if you have a chance at your privacy. If we have a chance to be alone and not worrying about reporters outside. I'm worried that our relationship isn't going to last unless you have to chance to work through everything and that you do it in peace and quiet."

"It's too much for me to ask of you."

"Then don't ask. I'll do it. I'll have to be apart from you for most of the year. But I will see you. There is a chance that this can be done. And after ten years... we can be together forever."

"I want to marry you before I leave."

"You better." The two smiled and kissed. But still they both had doubts.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... damn it...

WARNING: gay sex approacheth, then a big surprise in the morning, followed by Harry leaving. And we shall see what happens from here.

* * *

The next morning Harry and Draco woke up at almost the same moment. They had spent the rest of the night in silence. Both had been thinking about Harry being relocated. But the price that came along with that peace was more than either wanted to think about. For ten years they could only see each other for two days out of a month. It was necessary for the spell to work, but both wondered if they would be able to live through the months and months of time apart. It was scary to think about. When the thought came into either's mind, they would silently grip each other tighter and hold on tight for several minutes. Harry slowly got out of bed and peaked out the window at the crowd below. He just wanted to make sure they were still there. He turned back to the bed and saw Draco looking up at him. A thousand emotions were crossing Draco's face so fast that Harry felt dizzy. There was anxiety, hope, pain, anticipation, desire, and finally love. Harry got back into the bed and let Draco hold him to his chest.

"Dray... I..."

"I know. Don't worry. I know." Harry buried his head in Draco's shoulder. Now it was certain. Harry was leaving. He was going to relocate to a place where he could be alone and get over everything. He and Draco were going to be separated. The thought just made the two hold each other tighter.

Draco was distracted for all of his potions class. He tried to teach, but his thoughts kept straying to Harry and what was about to happen. Harry said he was going to make all the arrangements today. The next day he would be gone. Draco couldn't help but feel his heart crack every time he thought of being away from Harry for more than a few hours. He sighed impatiently as one of the first years exploded his cauldron. Draco quickly fixed the cauldron with a wave of his wand and a stern warning to the students who blew it up. He knew that he was distant. He couldn't help but be distant today.

That night Draco flooed to Harry's house once again. He could smell the scent of Harry's good cooking coming from the kitchen. He put down his things and flung off his cloak. He made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen where Harry was furiously cooking up a storm.

"What..." said Draco as he walked into the room.

"Oh!" said Harry suddenly hearing Draco behind him. "You're home, good."

"Harry, we can't eat all of his tonight."

"I know that. I'm making some stuff for you to just heat up while I'm gone."

"Oh..." Draco's voice trailed off into a whisper.

"I talked to the people at the Ministry of Magic today. They're coming over tomorrow morning at nine to do the spell. You're going to be the only person who knows where I am. They said they would make a portkey that will take you straight to me when you come to visit me once a month. All you have to do is hold whatever it is and say my name." He pulled a lasagna out of the oven and quickly cast a cooling spell over it before covering it and putting it in the refrigerator. "I think I've all ready got something for the portkey." Then he pulled out a roast and did the same thing to it that he did to the lasagna. "We have tonight. I've shut off the floo and shut the doors and curtains. You can live here as long as you want. I need someone to watch the place anyway." Harry turned to the shrimp scampi in the pan and gently served it into two plates. "I've got the table all set up and our drinks..." Now he finally turned around and saw that Draco had collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs with his face in his hands. Harry nearly dropped the plates that were in his hands. He quickly recovered and put the plates down at their respective places on the table. He gently knelt down in front of Draco and wrapped his arms around him. Draco quickly wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders and shook with the tears he had been holding back all day.

"I'm sorry..." said Draco faintly. Harry lifted Draco's face so that they were looking into each other's eyes.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I know you have to do this... but I don't want you to go."

"Dray, I never said that I was ecstatic about leaving you. I'll miss you love. I'll miss you every day that we're apart. I don't want to go... but I have to." Both kissed each other hard and then slowly and regretfully pulled away. Harry sat down across from Draco at the kitchen table. They sipped brandy and ate their meal quietly. When the meal was over, Harry put the dishes in the sink and put a cleaning spell on them. Then Harry took Draco by the hand and led him up the stairs. Once they got into the room Harry shut and locked the door behind them. The two stared into each other's eyes for only a moment before they ran at each other and began to kiss passionately. They never were certain how they got their clothes off so fast, but they weren't naked fast enough. They kissed and stroked each other with a desperation that betrayed how much they didn't want to leave each other. They knew it was necessary. They knew it was the only way. But they still wanted to be together. They made love to each other all night and when their strength was gone they held each other tightly as they fell asleep.

The next morning Harry woke up still held tightly in Draco's arms. He glanced at the clock. They still had an hour before the officers from the ministry were coming over to take him away. He regretfully moved away from Draco and made sure his things were packed. He had managed to put away everything into a trunk and a suitcase. He slowly got dressed. He sat down on the bed to put his boots on and he felt a gentle hand on his back. That was when the tears he had been fighting began to slip down his face. Draco gently put his arms around him from behind and kissed Harry's neck gently.

"How long do we have?" Draco asked quietly.

"About half an hour now," said Harry looking at the clock again. "Oh, by the way, here's the object that should be a portkey." He handed Draco a small piece of paper from his pocket. Draco opened it. Harry had written 'I love you' on the piece of paper. "All you have to do when you want to see me is hold that and say my name. But I always wanted you to know that I love you." Harry glanced at the clock again. "You should go ahead and get dressed."

"I don't want to."

"Draco, I have a surprise for you, but you need to get dressed for it." Draco looked at Harry curiously, but then quickly got dressed. Just after getting dressed, Harry opened the curtains of one of the windows. Suddenly there was a small series of cracks in the room. Draco was surprised to see Hermione, Ron, Remus, Tonks, Snape, and McGonagall.

"We need to hurry Harry," said Remus gently. Remus handed Harry something and Harry nodded.

"I know, I know, never is enough time to do these things."

"Harry..." said Draco staring in confusion at everything.

"Draco, I told you I would marry you before I left. I'm sorry that this isn't what I had hoped it would be, but this is the best I could get on such short notice." Draco's eyes filled with tears as Harry pulled Draco gently over to their friends. "Professor McGonagall is going to marry us. Everyone else is going to be witnesses." Harry handed Draco a ring that was made of silver and had two emeralds in it. In Harry's hand was a gold ring with two rubies in it. They stood before their old professor and said their vows. Harry put the gold ring with rubies on Draco's finger with his father's wedding band. Draco put the silver ring with the emeralds on Harry's finger. They kissed gently and then the officers arrived. Harry looked at Draco and then turned to everyone.

"Could we have a moment alone please?" he asked quietly. Everyone stepped out of the room and the newly weds held each other tightly and cried.

"Told you I'd marry you before I left," said Harry trying to make his voice sound light. Draco laughed and cried at the same time.

"So you did. And now you have." They kissed each other gently and rested their foreheads together.

"I love you Dray, I will always love you. We'll get through this. I promise we will get through this."

"I know. I believe you. Against all reason, I believe you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. And you love me. And I think I could get through anything as long as you are with me." They kissed one last time before Harry let everyone back in the room. The officers were possibly the only ones not crying.

"Do you have an object for the portkey?"

"Yes," said Draco pulling the piece of paper from his pocket.

"Are you going to be the keeper?"

"Yes," Draco repeated.

"Get your things together Mr. Potter." Harry got his trunk and suitcase and put them next to his feet.

"Please stand here Mr. Malfoy," said the officer. Draco found himself standing across from Harry and staring into the dark eyes that he always wanted to remember. "You have to say the spell."

"What...?" said Draco blinking.

"For you to be the keeper, you have to say the spell." Harry's eyes looked at the officer in rage and terror.

"I thought since you were coming-"

"We come because this is not a spell to be messed with. But for him to be your keeper, he has to say the spell."

"Draco... I'm sorry..." said Harry trying to think of what to say.

"It's all right, Harry," said Draco gently. "It will be all right." He took the paper from the officer's hand and began to read.

"_Out of sight, out of mind_

_He will be hidden for none to find_

_Out of time, out of place_

_No one now will know the face_

_Out of house, out of home_

_He will no longer in this land be known_

_Let I alone the keeper be_

_Of he who is hidden for none to see_

_Let this key be the only way_

_To find him again after today_

_Let this spell with time grow_

_And only to those he loves will his face show."_

Draco looked up as Harry disappeared in a swirl of lights and finally a brilliant flash. Draco blinked hard and then looked at the space where Harry had been standing. The officers took the spell from his hand and were gone with a few words that he didn't hear. Once they were gone he felt his knees give out from under him and he wished they had never agreed to do this. Tears began to stream down his face that he couldn't stop. He felt the familiar arms of his god father around him and hold him while he cried.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...

So, since they are apart now, just dreams and no sex or kissing for the moment. But don't worry, I make up for it.

* * *

Draco woke up the next morning alone. He pulled Harry's pillow to him and held it tightly. He breathed in the lingering scent of Harry on the pillow. It was only one day and all ready he missed Harry.

"How are you Draco?" said Snape's calm voice from the doorway. Snape had decided to stay with him at least for a day in the guest room. Snape could see the pain that being apart from Harry was causing Draco and had felt it best to keep an eye on him at least for a little while.

"I miss him," said Draco quietly. He fiddled with the rings on his finger and bit his lower lip in thought. "I miss him badly. But I..."

"What?"

"I let him go because I'm not sure if we'll last unless he works through everything. And to get through all of that... he needs to be away from here at least."

"Couldn't this have been done in a more simple way? Just move to muggle London or something."

"It's still too close. It had to be away from here. Unfortunately, that meant it also had to be away from me."

"Fine, out of London."

"And how fast would the magical press have found him?"

"Fidelius Charm."

"He wanted to be able to live, not hide. He was tired of cages. He was tired of hiding. He wanted to be able to live his life in peace. He was starting to think that it was too much to ask. This was the only way for him to get out and have a chance at living a life."

"What if something happens? What if you or one of his friends get into trouble before the ten years is up?"

"I'll keep my fingers crossed." Draco sat up but still held Harry's pillow to his chest. It wasn't a new thought for him by any means. He had wondered what would happen if he or one of the others Harry knew got into trouble. First, how to get word to him that something had happened. Second, what would Harry do. He didn't have an answer for either question. All he could do was hope that it would a quiet ten years.

"Can I make you some breakfast?" said Snape in a kind tone.

"I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Is there, anything else I can do for you?"

"I don't know. I miss him. That's all I feel this morning." Snape nodded and turned away from the door. Draco listened to the man glide through the house and into the kitchen.

He fingered his wedding ring now and looked at the two rubies that stared back at him like eyes. He wished they were emeralds like Harry's eyes. He slowly got out of bed and got dressed in jeans and a grey long-sleeved t-shirt. He walked barefoot through the house that Harry had left for him to take care of. Draco didn't really feel like he was supposed to be there. He didn't feel like it was his home. After all, it was Sirius Black's house that Harry was living in. Sirius Black was technically his cousin, but still Draco didn't feel right here. He walked into the kitchen and found Snape calmly cooking some eggs and bacon. Draco wondered to himself what Harry had done the day before and what he was thinking. Draco couldn't really remember much of the day before after Harry had left. He knew that Snape had given him a sedative. He had slept away most of the day. Now he was wondering what Harry had been doing all the day before.

* * *

Harry found himself in a small house that was completely furnished. There was a fire burning in the fire place that was warming the house. He saw a note on the table nearby. He picked it up and read,

Mr. Peter Kaysen,

This is your new home and your new name. It is located in the countryside of Ireland. Your address is printed on the back of this letter. As has been stated, you cannot contact anyone from your past for the next ten years. You will be able to write to your secret keeper through the muggle post, but you must use your pseudonym. If you use your own name, that will break the spell. You will be living here for the rest of your life. There is a town near by that you can reach by using the car we have provided. We hope you will be comfortable here.

Sincerely,

Neville Longbottom

P.S. Good luck!

Harry smiled at the last words that Neville had written to him specifically. The house was so sterile and the letter so formal that he was starting to feel like he was choking. Neville's little note was a breath of fresh air for him. He decided to explore the house first.

It was a simple house. The living room and kitchen were open to each other and made it one large room at the front of the house. The kitchen had a fridge, sink, cupboards, countertops, and Harry was delighted to find that the fridge and cupboards were both stocked with food. The living room had a large black suede sofa with two matching arm chairs all positioned in front of the fire on a red rug. He walked through a door and found a simple bedroom with a king size bed. It had a white bed set all ready on it. There was a medium sized bathroom that had a claw-footed bath tub much like his own at home and a shower. Everything was in simple white. The sink was right next to the toilet and Harry went to wash his face. He looked at himself in the mirror and stopped for a moment. He half expected Draco's face to come up behind him and feel the familiar arms hold him like they always did. But no face came and no arms encircled him. That was when Harry fully realized what he had done. He looked down at the silver ring on his finger with the emeralds staring back at him like two eyes. He was beginning to wish he had found jewels that looked like Draco's eyes. He remembered getting lost in those grey depths and wishing he could be there forever. He sank to his knees and finally started sobbing alone on the floor of his new bathroom. He was alone. Draco wasn't here to hold him and comfort him. He wouldn't be here for days and days. Was this really a good idea? Had there been other options? Harry felt his mind going in circles trying to think of anything else they could have done. That was when he heard a knock on the door. He sniffled and slowly got to his feet. 'Who in the world could be knocking at my door?' he thought to himself. He opened the door and was surprised to see Dr. Kobayashi standing before him.

"Good morning Peter," said the doctor calmly.

"You know I'm not Peter," said Harry with a shake of his head.

"Yes, I know. Can I come in?" Harry stood back from the door and let the doctor walk into the house. "Not bad. Nice digs. Isolated from almost all magical contact. A good place to start again."

"Excuse my language, but what the hell are you doing here? I was told that I couldn't contact anyone from the magic world that I used to know. The only person who can come visit me is my secret keeper who is my husband Draco."

"Husband? When did that happen?"

"This morning, before I left."

"You wanted to reassure him that you would stay faithful?"

"That's not the only reason. I'd been intending on asking him to marry me once we were moved to somewhere that we could be left in peace... wait you didn't answer my question."

"Well, the ministry knows the reason for your leaving the magical world. Between Professor Snape and I we convinced them that you needed to continue your therapy with me. We convinced them that not only did you need isolation and separation from the magic world to get over your problems, you needed me. So, here I am. And I'll be here once a week." Harry thought for a moment and then sat down on his couch and gestured to the armchair across from him. Dr. Kobayashi nodded to Harry in thanks and sat down on the chair.

"So, do you like it here?"

"I've only been here an hour. And in that hour I broke down crying because I realized Draco isn't here." Harry felt fresh tears all ready stinging in his eyes.

"Well, that is one downside to this idea. But it is for the best."

"Then why does this feel like one of the most monumentally stupid ideas I've ever had?"

"You tell me."

"I've left my husband on the day we got married. I will now only see him two days a month for the next ten years. I knew I would miss him. But not this much. I don't think I knew how much I loved him, until this morning."

"How have things been between the two of you?"

"Not that great."

"Why?"

"I've been more and more of a recluse. I would think about stepping outside and I'd almost have a panic attack on the spot. People were camping outside for days and days. I couldn't even get to the muggle world. Which was annoying as hell."

"How has Draco been?"

"The great pillar, the stalwart support, the one person who swore to stick by me and for some reason is still sticking by me and even married me this morning. I worry about him."

"Oh?"

"I worry that he's putting his life on hold for me."

"So, part of the reason you agreed to this was so Draco wouldn't be taking care of you constantly?"

"Yes... I think. I was worried that he would get tired of taking care of me. And that in process of that... he would grow tired of me. And then everything... everything would be gone."

"If something like that happened, you would move on. You would find someone else."

"No one like Draco."

"I'll give you that."

"I haven't been able to even let him make love to me yet. It's still too... I can make love to him just fine. He can even give me a blow job and I'm all right. But... I just can't."

"It's understandable."

"That's what Draco keeps saying."

"He loves you, he doesn't want to hurt you further."

"Yeah... but I don't want to be treated like a china doll."

"Did he treat you like that?"

"No. He wouldn't let me shut him out. He didn't fight me when I didn't want to go out with all the reporters outside. Now... I'm here. I just have to see if I can get out on my own." Dr. Kobayashi looked down at his watch and nodded.

"Well, our time is up. I'll be back next week at the same time, if that's all right with you?"

"Yeah, that'll be fine."

"I'll see you then. I hope you have a good week." The doctor stood up and walked out the door. Harry looked up and watched as the doctor walked out the door. He left the door open and Harry heard the snap as the doctor apparated away.

Harry walked to the open door and looked out. The house was very isolated. He saw the nearest house about a mile away. Beyond that he could just see a small collection of buildings that he assumed was the town nearby. He thought for a moment and then went into the small garage that was attached to the house. It was weird stepping outside without looking over his shoulder for people trying to spy on him. He pushed the button on the outside and the garage door slowly opened. Inside the garage was a '67 Mustang Convertible that was identical to the one at his house. He started laughing upon seeing it.

"Oh Neville, you've outdone yourself," he said staring at the car. He found the keys to the car on a hook in the garage. He got in and turned on the car. Once again the quiet hum of the car calmed him. "All right, I can do this. Go into town and explore. For a few hours. Then come back and write a letter to Draco." He shook his head at himself as he put the car in reverse and slowly backed out of the garage. The countryside was beautiful. The day was beautiful as well. It was early in the afternoon and the sun was shining across the countryside. Harry drove at an easy pace into the quiet town. A few people looked up to watch him drive by. At first Harry thought he knew them, but then he realized that they were looking at the car, not him. He laughed at his own paranoia, put the car in park, and turned it off.

He spent a couple of hours exploring the bookstore, the clothes shop, the antiques shop, and finally the market. He found a few things that he needed for dinner that night that weren't all ready at the house; a few spices, chicken, and bacon. As he was about to leave, he spotted flower display with red roses and some simple glass vases near by. He picked up a bouquet of red roses and a vase to brighten up his house. After paying for everything, he got into the car with his purchases and drove back to the house.

He put everything away in the fridge and cabinets before running some water into the vase and putting the roses in the vase. The vase he put in the middle of the table. He made chicken anastasia and sat down with his plate to eat by himself. Sipping on the brandy he had poured for himself and staring at the roses as the sun went down he began to realize how quiet the house was. Granted, with Draco teaching during the day the house was often quiet, but over the weekends Draco would stay home all day and would be somewhere in the house reading or making a potion or something. He was used to having another person in the house with him. But he was alone. He had bought the roses to cheer the place up a bit and make it feel less sterile and less like he was living in a stranger's house. Now, the roses seemed to be staring at him with a mocking look. He ate quickly and drank half the bottle. After he had washed the dishes, he turned back to the table to the flowers looking back at him once again.

"It is the stupidest idea I've ever had," he said to the air. "Heroes don't get to have lives. They aren't supposed to have lives, or fall in love, or have a life of their own... or get a fucking chance at a life in peace!" He grabbed the vase off the table and threw it to the floor with a spectacular crash of glass, water, and rose petals. "Heroes are supposed to be perfect. But I'm not. I'm just me." Harry walked into the bedroom and flopped onto the bed. He pulled the second pillow on the bed to his chest and tried to imagine that it was Draco's shoulder that his head was resting on. He almost started to believe it by the time he fell asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Discliamer: I don't own Harry Potter... yeah, go from there...

so... sorry I haven't updated in a while. Part of this might be confusing, but I promise it is explained in the next chapter.

WARNING: gay sex, some stuff here and there.

* * *

Draco stared at his calendar that he had put up on the wall. Trying to count the days in his head until he could see Harry again had proved harder than one would think. So he put up a calendar and had circled the two days that he was to visit Harry. It was the morning of the first day for him to visit Harry. However, it was five in the morning. He didn't really think that Harry would like him dropping in on him at this hour. But he needed to be gone from this house soon if he didn't want to get caught. The last letter that Harry had sent him told him that he would be anxiously awaiting Draco's visit. He wondered if Harry was awake right now. He wanted to tell Harry everything. He wanted to be consoled by his lover. But he knew that if he told him what was happening in the magic world, Harry would break the spell and leave the house. Finally Draco couldn't stand it. He didn't care if Harry was asleep when he got there. He would just climb into bed next to his husband and maybe then he could get back to sleep. He grabbed the portkey and his overnight bag. He opened the piece of paper for the millionth time since Harry had left and read the words, 'I love you' once again before whispering the name,

"Harry."

Draco felt the familiar pull from the portkey and he found himself stumbling in a living room with a black suede couch and matching armchairs with a red rug. The fire in the fireplace was fading which he hoped meant that Harry was still asleep. He put down his overnight bag, took off his coat, and hung it on the coat rack near the door. He tried to be as quiet as possible as he walked through the house. He walked to the door that he hoped led to the bedroom. He slowly opened it and gasped. Harry lay asleep in his bed. His hair had grown more over the month giving it a more shaggy quality to it. Draco had to fight down his first reaction to just pounce on his husband, wake him up, and make love to him right then and there. He shut back the door as quietly as he could. Harry didn't stir. He carefully toed off his shoes, pulled off his clothes down to his boxers, and slowly and carefully climbed into bed next to Harry. Since Harry was sleeping on his side, Draco carefully spooned up behind him and held him. Harry murmured for a second but then snuggled into Draco's embrace and went back to sleep. Draco fought the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes and laid his head down on one of the pillows. Within minutes, he was asleep.

* * *

Harry woke up around seven that morning. He dreamed so many times of Draco holding him and he was used to waking up the next morning and still feeling his arms around him.

"I've got to stop waking up like this," Harry whispered to himself. Then he looked down at his waist and saw another hand that was not his. He felt his heart almost stop in shock. It was a left hand with two rings on the ring finger. It had to be Draco. It just had to be Draco. He slowly reached down and interlaced his fingers with the fingers of the other hand. The one thing he didn't tell Draco about their wedding rings was that if the people who wore them loved each other, when they touched each other they would glow. He'd done that intentionally so that no one could trick him and disguise themselves as Draco. Once the two rings touched each other, he saw the gentle glow in the dim light of his room. He let out the breath that he didn't know he had been holding and clutched the hand tightly to his chest. He heard Draco waking up next to him and he thought that there couldn't be a sweeter sound in the world.

"Harry?" said Draco gently. "I'm here." Harry nodded his head.

"I know," he managed to croak out. Draco held Harry tighter and nuzzled the nape of his neck. Harry quickly turned over in Draco's arms and the two gazed into each other's eyes for the first time in a month. Harry put his hand to Draco's cheek and the two kissed each other. Suddenly, Harry felt like he was home. He wasn't just living in someone else's house. He had a place here. Draco was here. The two kissed and held each other tightly for a long while.

"Gods I've missed you," Draco whispered into Harry's shoulder. "There were days there that I didn't think I could live without you."

"I know the feeling." Harry bit his lip in hesitation. It wasn't a lie, he had gone through days that he felit like he couldn't live and then he would get Draco's next letter and he would feel somewhat better. What he didn't want to tell Draco was that he liked it here. He liked being able to go outside and sit in his garden. He liked going to the pub and being able to talk to people. Harry slowly pulled away and sat up in bed. Draco wasn't sure what to think and when he saw the tears on Harry's cheeks he was more confused.

"What's wrong?" Harry shook his head. "Harry, it's me. You can't fool me that easily."

"I feel... I'm just feeling... guilty I guess."

"Guilty? Why?"

"I like it here." Draco blinked and sat up as well.

"You feel guilty because you like it here?"

"Yes." Draco gently put his arms around Harry from behind and held him tightly.

"Harry, that's nothing to feel guilty for. What do you like about it?"

"That I can step outside and not be afraid." He felt Draco nodding his head on his shoulder. "That I can work in my garden. That the pub in town is quiet and all the people there are friendly. That I haven't had a panic attack about going outside in two weeks." Harry touched Draco's hand and squeezed it. "The only thing that's missing is you. And now that you're here, this is really starting to feel like home." Draco smiled and kissed Harry on the shoulder.

"It's all right. I'm glad that you like it here. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm even more glad that while I'm here this feels like home for you. My home is wherever you are. I'll follow you anywhere you want to go." Harry smiled and leaned his head back onto Draco's shoulder.

"I should make us breakfast."

"Not necessarily."

"What do you suggest then?"

"Oh, I don't know." Draco's hands ran down Harry's back and eased around his waist. His hands tenderly stroked the inside of Harry's thighs that he knew always drove Harry crazy. "We could read a book." Harry chuckled lightly and relaxed under Draco's touch. "We could discuss current events. Talk about which potions I've been working on in your absence." Harry gasped as Draco's fingers brushed his sensitive flesh. "You'd be amazed how much sexual frustration can be released by just grinding up some herbs."

"You... ahhh... are too cruel." Harry turned around in Draco's arms and the two kissed passionatly. Draco sighed with relief as Harry pushed him down on the bed. Draco moaned and writhed as Harry tormented him. Draco felt tears of relief escape his eyes as he felt Harry ease into him.

"I love you," he whispered to Harry.

"I love you," Harry replied and kissed him hard as they came in the same moment. They held each other tightly and settled down together with Harry resting on Draco's chest.

"Your hair is getting long," said Draco running his fingers through Harry's hair.

"Well, so is yours."

"Yeah... but that's because of tradition."

"What tradition?"

"When a wizard gets married they let their hair grow long."

"You had long hair before we got married."

"I started letting my hair grow when we got together. I knew I could never be with anyone else. Even when I left." Harry looked up at Draco and his shaggy hair fell around his face.

"You know, I've never tried having long hair. But I think I might." They smiled at each other and Draco pushed some of the hair away from Harry's face.

"I think you'll look smashing with long hair. Might be just the thing to finally get it to lay down and be tame." Harry stuck out his tongue at Draco and both giggled. Harry moved up Draco's body and kissed him on the lips again.

"All right, now I'm hungry. I've worked up an appetite."

"I wonder how that happened," said Draco with a smug smirk on his face. But it was when Harry was walking away from him that Draco saw something that disturbed him.

"Harry?" said Draco quietly.

"Hmm?" said Harry turning back to his lover from the door. Draco was staring at Harry's thin frame. It was thinner than the last time Draco had seen him naked. In fact, it was a lot thinner. Harry must have lost twenty five or thirty pounds. It was true that Harry did have a little extra weight on him here and there, but now he was all thin muscles and Draco feared that with five more pounds gone he would be able to count Harry's ribs.

"You've... you've lost some weight. A good bit of weight actually." Harry looked slightly embarassed and reached for his robe hanging on the hook on his bedroom door. He pulled on the black silk robe with the silver dragon climbing up the side that Draco had slipped into Harry's bag the night before he left. It didn't help the picture. He could still tell that Harry was so thin even without the belt tied around his waist.

"Twenty eight pounds to be exact." Harry said it in a dead tone of voice. He didn't say it with any pride or confidence or really any kind of emotion at all. It was just a statement of fact.

"What happened?" Draco felt like tying down Tony and making him tell him what had happened in the month he and Harry had been apart. How did he loose twenty eight pounds in a month?

"I got here and... I missed you. There was depression and anger and loneliness and... a lot of emotions that I was finally feeling. Not just about you, but about everything that has happened in the past many many months. And I didn't eat much. I didn't eat much for a while and would go running a lot." Draco twitched and felt his heart ache. "After two weeks of doing that, Dr. K had to stay with me for a few days to make sure that I stayed alive. After that he made me promise to eat at least three meals a day. He still lets me run a mile every day. But I can't skip meals anymore." He looked away at the floor with an ashamed look on his face. "If it makes you feel any better I've gained back two pounds."

"Harry..." said Draco as he quickly got out of bed and rushed to his lover's side. "I didn't mean anything. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I was just surprised. That's all. I was just worried that something had happened to you."

"Yeah, Voldemort, my parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Ron, they all happened to me. Then I had to go and kill Voldemort. So now, I'm a hero, but I'm not a hero. Heroes are perfect. I'm not perfect. I'm just human. And thus I eat little and run long and wish for a life that I can't have. But the only way I have that is to be away from you for so long that I'm not sure I'll survive it all." Draco slipped one hand inside the robe and eased his hand around Harry's waist and pulled Harry close to him. Their naked chests were pressed against each other and Harry rested his head on Draco's shoulder. Draco's arms went around Harry's waist inside the robe and Harry's arms went up Draco's back and his hands rested on Draco's shoulders so both of them were inside the robe.

"It's all right," Draco whispered gently. "It'll be all right. I was just worried about you. I was always worried about you. I just felt like I should have known."

"I didn't want to worry you. That's why I didn't write to you about it. And Dr. K can't tell you anything about what we say here."

"Has he been helping though?"

"Yeah... he's been helping a lot. It's getting easier." Draco smiled and kissed Harry's neck.

"Tell you what, I'll make breakfast. What were you planning on?"

"Eggs, bacon, and pancakes." Draco kissed Harry on the lips quickly.

"Sounds perfect. And pancakes just happen to be my specialty."

"You? Pancakes are your speciality?"

"I'll have you know that I'm famous for them."

"Really? Where?"

"With my cousins. I always make breakfast when we're together." Harry shook his head.

"All right, all right, let's see what you can do with those pancakes." Draco pulled the robe around Harry and tied the belt loosely around him. He kissed Harry lightly on the nose. Harry giggled and grinned.

"By Merlin I've missed you," Draco whispered in a sorrowful voice. Harry tugged him back into his arms and they shared a long kiss. Harry all ready felt bad that Draco was going to be gone from him in just another day. All ready he felt the sting that his lover leaving him would cause. But he tried not to think about it for now.

* * *

That night Harry decided to take Draco out to the pub he had been going to every Saturday. As much as he wanted to stay in and just make love to him all night long, he was a creature of habit and he wanted to show Draco what he had been doing and where he had been going. Some part of him just wanted to prove to Draco that he really was doing better than when he and Draco had last seen each other. They went to the pub called The Oak Tree. It was a very quiet place and everyone had gotten to know Harry there.

"Hello Harry!" called the bar tender. "How are we doing tonight?"

"Doing all right Harold," said Harry with a smile. "This is my old friend Draco. He's come to visit me for a few days." It was something Harry had forgotten to prepare Draco for. While in their world homosexuality wasn't a big deal, in a place like this it was best to keep it a little more hidden. Draco smiled and tried not to show the roaring monster inside of him that screamed to be released on Harry. "We're going to get that back corner booth."

"Go right ahead," said the bar tender with a smile. "Jessica will be over to take your order in a minute." Harry led Draco over to the back corner booth. It was a small booth that was hidden away and kept all conversation between the two of them private from the rest of the restaurant.

"I forgot that I can't be known as your husband around here," said Draco trying to keep his tone civil as they climbed into the booth. Before Harry could respond Jessica came over.

"Hello Harry!" said Jessica with a gorgeous smile. She was a voluptuos red head with dazzling green eyes. "What can I get for you and your friend tonight?"

"We'd both like brandys to start with, we'll order in another few minutes."

"All right, I'll be back with your drinks soon." After she walked away Harry turned back to Draco with a look of apology.

"I'm sorry Draco, I really didn't think."

"It's all right. Really, I'm calming, it's all right. I just didn't think about it." Harry reached his hand under the table and gently touched Draco's knee. Draco clasped Harry's fingers in his and squeezed his hand tightly until Jessica came back with the brandys. They both ordered steaks and Draco began looking around.

"It's a nice place," said Draco looking at the white walls with the dark wood beams. There were pictures all around from the construction of the pub and of the people who worked there over the years.

"I enjoy it here. It's quiet and there's good food and good company."

"You really have settled in here haven't you?" Harry bit his lip considering his answer.

"I like it here. I like being here where... I can be myself. Granted... not as a wizard. But I can go outside of my door and not have to look around before I leave the house. It's just easier here. It's easier to sort through everything here." Draco smiled at him and took Harry's hnad under the table again.

"It's all right. I'm glad you're happy here and you can get through all of this." Dinner went by without a hitch. When they got back home, they stripped each other of clothes and laid in bed together making out for a long time. Neither wanted their time together to end, but it ended all too soon.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... on and on like that.

WARNING: ANGST in a big way, some icky stuff, some gay sex, and then the stuff that was not explained last chapter is expalined. By the way, Snape/Lupin relationship is mentioned, but not seen. And character death in here. Yeah, I'm being really evil right now.

* * *

Draco was sitting on Harry's bed at three in the morning fully dressed. Harry was sleeping next to him. They had exhausted each other that night but Draco couldn't get to sleep. He had to leave in the next two hours. He stared at Harry with regret and wondered how he was going to be able to get up and leave. It wasn't just leaving Harry that he feared, it was what he was about to go back to. He feared the scene he would find at the house if he went back. Draco felt tears come to his eyes as he looked back at Harry. He wanted Harry to come back and help, but he didn't want to see his lover as depressed and angry as he once was. Here he was free to be himself. If he had him come back to the magic world, things could get ugly. He began concentrating on the floor again and tried to keep his tears down. Then he felt a gentle and familiar hand on his back. His body shook from the touch knowing exactly who it was and what he was going to have to do. Familiar arms encircled him and held him tightly.

"What's wrong love?" asked Harry. "And why..." But Harry didn't finish the question. He wanted to ask why Draco was dressed, but then he realized that Draco was going to have to leave soon. "When did you get here?"

"Five in the morning. I've got a little less than two hours before I need to be gone. I don't want to take chances. I don't want to ruin this for you." Harry just held Draco tighter and kissed him gently on the neck. They sat in silence for a long time before Draco turned around in Harry's embrace and held Harry tightly to him.

"By Merlin, if there was a way I would never let you go," Harry whispered fiercly in Draco's ear. "You know that don't you?" Draco nodded his head. He did know. If not by Harry's words than by the desperation in Harry's grasp. But he had to go now.

"I'll be back before you can say apple tart."

"Apple tart." Draco and Harry both smiled sadly at each other. Draco kissed him one last time and then walked into the living room and shut the door. Harry still lay in bed. They knew it was best that they did this apart from each other. If they had been in the same room, Harry would have grabbed onto Draco's legs at the last moment and broken the spell. Harry laid back on the bed with a heavy sigh and draped one arm over his eyes.

"I love you, Draco," he whispered to the air.

* * *

When Draco got back to the house he shared with Harry, officers from the Ministry of Magic were waiting for him. Snape was kneeling on the floor in front of them looking broken and defeated. Draco almost burst out sobbing upon seeing his godfather looking so weak.

"Mr. Malfoy," said one of the officers.

"Malfoy-Potter," Draco ground out between his teeth.

"I beg your pardon?" Draco held up his left hand where he wore his wedding ring.

"It's Mr. Malfoy-Potter. I'm married to Harry Potter, in case you didn't know." The officers glanced at each other nervously. "You didn't know."

"Mr. Malfoy-Potter, you are to follow us. You are being taken in for questioning."

"What is my crime?"

"Associating with death eaters, namely one Lucius Malfoy."

"He was my father!" said Draco with a half-laugh. "Of course I associated with him!"

"And one Severus Snape."

"And he is my godfather."

"If you do not come quietly, we will dispose of Mr. Snape." Draco's breath caught in his throat. This couldn't be happening. Part of his brain wished for Harry back again.

"Then let's go," said Draco with a resigned sigh. Snape looked up at him with a warning look. They knew this had been coming for a month now. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

Draco appeared in the living room of Harry's house a month later. It was five in the morning again. The past month had exhausted him and he was glad to be going back to Harry's house again. He hoped that everything would make more sense there. He hoped that he could do some thinking and maybe even come up with a plan that wouldn't involve Harry coming back, rounding up all the rest of the magical world, and taking over the Ministry of Magic. He knew that Harry would probably be asleep and had intended on sleeping with Harry until Harry woke up. But Harry was awake. He was sitting in a chair by the fire with a mug in his hand. Something about his demeanor told Draco that Harry was not up this late because he wanted to make love to Draco the moment he got there. Something was wrong.

"Harry?" Draco whispered quietly. Harry didn't look up from the fire. "Drinking tea are we?" Draco slowly pulled the matching chair close to Harry's and sat down.

"Bourbon," Harry replied in a numb voice. Draco had known it wouldn't be tea this late at night.

"Are you all right?" Harry sighed and downed the last of the bourbon in his mug.

"I had a friend die today," Harry said in a numb voice. "One of my muggle friends from around here. This sweet kid who was sixteen. He was so gay. I think he has been gay since birth. He was raped by three men." Draco tried to reach out for Harry but Harry pulled away suddenly. "He tried. He tried to get over it all. It didn't work out. He took his father's antique pistol down from the wall today and loaded it and put a bullet in his head." Harry put down the mug on the side table. "He couldn't take it. He couldn't live with the memories of being violated." Harry stared into the fire for a moment trying to phrase what he wanted to say next. "I know what it's like. I know what it's like to have something ripped from you. Something that you intended for only specific people. I know what it's like to feel like you'll never be touched again if the people you want to be with know. I know how it feels to be in such internal pain and no one understands. It isn't anyone's fault. It's simply that the only people who can understand that kind of pain are the people who went through it. I tried to talk to him. I tried to help. But he wouldn't listen to me. He wanted out. And since he couldn't use a memory charm like I did, he killed himself." Harry's red eyes looked up at Draco now. "How many people like me get this far? I don't mean just men or just wizards. Anyone. How does anyone live through a rape? How does anyone live through sexual abuse? How many of us fall along with way? How many of us get this far?"

"I don't know Harry... I just don't know. I don't imagine that there are many who manage to get this far."

"What does that say about us? The ones who get through it. We were lucky?"

"Yeah, you were lucky. And you were strong. And you had people to lean on. You probably personify the saying, That which does not kill you will only make you stronger. Harry you've lived through unimaginable things that have killed hundreds of people. But you are still here. You're the strongest person I know."

"I don't want to be strong right now."

"You don't have to be. I'm here." Harry slowly stood from his chair. He took one step towards Draco and then nearly fell into Draco's waiting arms. Harry cried and his body shook, but Draco held him tightly. He whispered gentle soothing words in Harry's ear and rocked him like a baby. When the tears finally stopped, Draco felt Harry's body go limp with exhaustion. He could tell that Harry was about to fall asleep on his shoulder. He gently lifted Harry in his arms, stood up, and easily carried him into the bedroom. He laid Harry down on the bed and pulled the blankets over him. When Draco started to walk away, Harry grabbed Draco's wrist tightly.

"Please stay," Harry whispered. Draco quickly toed off his shoes and slipped into bed next to Harry. He put his arms around Harry and held him tightly. Harry's breathing eventually slowed and Draco kissed him on the back of the head before falling asleep himself.

* * *

The next day Draco woke up before Harry did. Harry was sleeping peacefully and Draco didn't want to disturb him. He snuggled down next to his lover and sighed.

"Sleep well love?" said Harry quietly. Draco looked at Harry with a smirk.

"All right, how long have you been awake?"

"About thirty minutes."

"You doing that whole waking up and watching the other sleep like I've done to you so many times?" Harry rolled over in Draco's arms and smirked at him.

"I had to pay you back at some point for all of that." Draco smirked and tucked one of the chunks of hair that was in his face behind his ear. They kissed passionately and Harry pulled Draco's shirt off of him. That was when he stopped. There was a new scar on Draco's left shoulder that started at the top of his shoulder and went across his torso diagonally to his sternum. Harry slowly traced the scar and looked into Draco's eyes. Draco looked nervous but he didn't want to look away.

"What happened?" Harry asked in a whisper.

"Nothing," said Draco.

"Liar. This isn't nothing." Draco didn't know what to say now. He was trying to decide how to tell Harry this. His hope for a quiet ten years was proving impossible. "Draco, please tell me."

"A sword happened."

"A sword happened?"

"Yeah, a guy was waving a sword at me and I was stumbling because he had cut my knee and he got in a lucky hit." Harry grabbed Draco's leg and pulled up the pant leg. He saw a long scar on Draco's knee as well.

"Why was he waving a sword at you?"

"He was trying to kill me." Harry looked at him in confusion now.

"What?"

"Since you've been gone, things have gotten... strange in the magical world."

"As if they could get any stranger."

"Well, they have. With Voldemort gone, some of the death eaters banded together to take revenge for him. They tried an attack."

"When?"

"About a week after you left." Harry felt like hitting Draco for not telling him what was going on. "I'm sorry, I just... I just wanted to be with you. I didn't want to think about everything that is going on. I wanted to just be here and not think about anything else but being with you." Harry felt himself calming down.

"What else has happened?"

"Well, like I said they tried an attack. They killed a few people, but officers from the ministry put a stop to it. After that, they started tracking down everyone who was a death eater or associated with death eaters." Harry felt a great sinking feeling in his stomach.

"What about the ones who were on our side-"

"It didn't matter. Those of us who were children of death eaters, we were tracked down too."

"But-"

"I know. A lot of us did take the mark and a lot of us didn't. Not many of us are dangerous, even the ones that did take the mark like Crabbe and Goyle. In the end they can shout and rail but when it comes to action they fall short. Well, the government got real zealous with their whole seeking out every death eater and every suspected death eater. They were about to find me when I came here last month."

"When did they find you?"

"Right after I got back. They were waiting for me actually. If I didn't give up and come quietly, they were going to kill Severus." Draco looked away and stared at the wedding rings on his finger. "They let me go in the end because you are my husband. They were saying that since you weren't there you couldn't say anything. I told them that if they killed me you would know. And then they would be very sorry. They got a little scared then. After some of your basic torture, they let me out. And that's when I found out."

"About what?"

"Severus, and the others. They decided to execute them all." Harry stared at Draco with wide eyes.

"What?" he whispered. He never had liked Professor Snape, but he knew that Snape was as important to Draco as Sirius was to him. For that reason he gently caressed Draco's cheek and put his arms around his lover.

"They killed him. And I never got time to say good bye."

"I know. It's all right. It will be all right."

"They're still hunting down everyone. And now that they're getting so zealous about everything they are hunting down all the oddities in the world. Giants, vampires, werewolves, centaurs, and any half breeds of any of those." Harry began to worry now. "In case you're wondering, Hagrid is being protected at Hogwarts. McGonagal made a small speech and said very simply that if anyone had a problem with Hagrid they would have to take it up with her. And well you know McGonagal. No one wants to go up against her. The centaurs that live in the forest are also being protected by them. Remus Lupin..." Draco pulled away and looked Harry in the eye. "He was being hunted down by the ministry. I managed to find him and I've been keeping him hidden away at your house." Harry felt increadibly grateful to Draco for keeping Remus hidden away. "It's all right really, since he's come to the place I've learned how to make the potion that just lets him become a dog."

"Not that I'm not gratefull, but why are you taking care of him?"

"It's for Severus's sake." Harry now looked confused. "Severus knew what was coming and he left me specific instructions on certain matters. He knew that once the death eaters were killed they would start taking on the oddities. He told me that no matter what happened, I needed to take care of Remus. They were lovers once you see. And Severus didn't like the idea of Remus being killed simply for who he is. So, he left me instructions to guard Remus with my life. I've done exactly that."

"I didn't know..."

"Yes, apparently a lot of people didn't know. Even most of their close friends didn't know. When Snape became a death eater, they had a bit of a falling out. Once they saw each other at Hogwarts, they had a fight and then everything went back to the way it was. So once all the trouble started and he realized that he would be dead soon, he made sure that Remus would be taken care of. It's actually nice to have someone in the house besides myself. Two exiles hidden away in one house. If anyone else needs a place to hide they'll probably come there." Harry gently kissed Draco.

"I need to come back, don't I?" said Harry very simply. Draco bit his lip and looked away.

"You don't have to come back. I don't want to ask you to come back."

"Then don't ask. I'll do it."

"But Harry... the spell will be broken and I don't know if it will do any good."

"But you've thought about it. You don't have to feel bad about it, it's all right."

"Remus told me not to tell you anything and to use a glamour spell on my scars. But I just... I didn't want to lie." Harry stroked his lover's hair and kissed him on the forehead.

"It's all right. You don't have to lie to me. I'll come back. I'll find a way to work on this."

"But Harry... you're doing so well..."

"And my friends are coming under attack. You need me, Remus needs me, a lot of people need me. If for no other reason than to have a voice to speak for everyone." Draco looked away. He felt terrible that he had told Harry about all of this. He felt Harry's gentle fingers on his chin and turned his head back to him. Harry suddenly attacked Draco's mouth with a bruising kiss. Draco felt his body pulled to Harry like a magnet. He knew this could be the last time for them to have sex in a while. They didn't speak at all. Draco found himself on top of Harry and his lover's legs wrapping around his waist for the first time in months. He looked into Harry's eyes and knew that he was sure. Their eyes stayed locked as Draco eased into him. They made love gently at first and then got faster. They gasped, moaned, cried out, and kissed hard as they came together. They held each other tightly for a long time before they both got up and took a shower together.

Harry pulled out a suitcase and packed together everything that he needed. Draco silently helped him. They shrunk it down and Harry stuck it in his pocket.

"How are we going to get back?" asked Draco.

"We'll use the portkey. I can go back with you that way."

"Will you be all right?"

"I've been told it hurts for a little while, but it gets better."

"Harry... maybe this will just all blow over. Maybe you should just stay here-" Harry stopped Draco's words with a hungry kiss. Harry wrapped an arm tightly around Draco's waist and took the portkey out of Draco's pocket.

"Home," Harry whispered as he stared into Draco's eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

I don't own Harry Potter

WARNING: gay sex approacheth! this is just kind of a setting up chapter. a bit of mush at times.

* * *

Remus was sitting in the library. Draco had left very early that morning to visit Harry and he was hoping that Draco would keep the secret. He wanted Harry to have a chance to get over everything. So what if he was living in hiding? So what if the whole magic world was going bezerk? So what if Harry would be the perfect person to come in and fix things? Harry needed time and space to sort through things. Remus understood that. His thoughts were broken by a spectacular crash and snap that erupted from upstairs.

"Merlin in hell!" shouted a voice. At first Remus thought it was James. But then his stomach fell and his eyes closed when he realized that it had to be Harry.

"Are you all right?" said a voice that he knew was Draco's.

"Yeah, it just feels like someone hit me in the chest with a ton of bricks!"

"Well, we did hit the table pretty hard."

"Yeah, that table may have seen its last days." Remus marched from the library into their bedroom with anger flaring from his eyes. The door was open, but he slammed in his hand on it. Harry was still sprawled out on the floor amongst the remnants of a side table and Draco was standing over him about to help him up from the floor. Both boys turned at the sound of Remus's hand coliding with the door and the door with the wall. Draco looked scared, but Harry looked calm.

"I told you to tell him nothing," said Remus. The volume of his voice was normal but the fury in his voice was evident. "I told you to-"

"It's all right Remus," Harry said as he stood up on his own. He knew that this was going to happen and that he needed to calm Remus quickly. "It's all right. I needed to know."

"It would have all blown over. It always does."

"And how long would you have been hiding in my house? A year? Two? Ten? Forever? You hate hiding. Just like Sirius hated hiding." Remus's expression changed from enraged to defensive.

"Sirius was always impatient. I could have waited it out."

"You would have hated it."

"I would have waited it out!"

"So? How many would have died in the mean time? Haggrid? Fierenz? Draco? You? When would I have been told? When did you want me to know?"

"We could have found a way."

"But I'm here."

"I told Draco-"

"I came back of my own free will. You know the spell can't be broken unless I break it. I did it. I wanted to come back."

"And what can you do?"

"I'm still the Boy Who Lived. I'm still the one who defeated Voldemort. If nothing else, I can strike some fear into them."

"Harry-"

"Remus." Remus looked into Harry's eyes and saw a determination he hadn't seen since Sirius was alive. "I know about Severus. I know what he meant to you. And I'm sorry." Remus looked away. The idea of his lover being dead still brought tears to his eyes. "I didn't agree with him. I didn't like him. But he was Draco's godfather, and your lover. He was important to the people I love. And that makes him important to me. And this has to stop." Remus cleared his throat, stepped towards Harry, and pushed a strand of Harry's hair from his face and tucked it behind his ear.

"Are you feeling all right?" Harry rubbed his chest for a moment.

"It hurts a bit. But I'll be fine."

"Your hair has gotten longer. And you look thinner."

"I am a bit." Remus nodded slowly.

"I'm... I'm glad... that you're back." Remus couldn't look him in the eye as he said this. He didn't want Harry know the relief he was feeling at Harry being back. Harry felt his heart aching for the last person in his life that he considered a parent. He took the last step to close the distance between himself and Remus and gently hugged him. Remus couldn't stop his tears and held onto Harry while he cried. Draco had known that Remus did want Harry back in some secret place that he wouldn't admit to. But now he was finally letting it be known. Harry didn't say anything. He just held on tightly and tried to comfort Remus as best he could.

"I'm sorry..." Remus whispered quietly. "I'm sorry that you have to come back to help us."

"It's all right. I'll do my best to fix this." Remus pulled away and wiped the tears from his cheeks and tried to smile.

"I'm sorry I shouted Draco, I didn't want Harry to have to get involved."

"Don't worry about it. I didn't want to tell him either. But fortunately for us, Harry can see through me like a pane of glass."

"I should be able to do that by now." said Harry with a smirk. "I don't think I would be a good husband if I wasn't." Remus smiled slightly at him.

"Well, settle in, take your time. We'll talk about this later tonight and we can try to put things into action tomorrow. There's much you need to know." Remus walked away and settled back in the library. Harry walked from where he was standing to the window. The curtains were shut tight as always. Harry took in a deep breath and pulled the curtains apart. There were no reporters outside.

"They aren't staking out the place anymore?" said Harry with a slight bit of wonderment in his voice.

"Well, what with all the other things to report on lately, you're not news anymore. They slowly figured out that you weren't here anymore and that I wouldn't tell them where you were. Then everything went to hell in a handbasket." Harry nodded silently. He turned back to Draco and smiled at him.

"Don't look so nervous. I'm not going back now." Draco nodded but just couldn't shake the feeling that this was a bad idea. Harry walked back to Draco and gently took him into his arms. "I think you're more nervous about this than I am." Draco chuckled and rested his head on Harry's shoulder. Harry gently swayed with him in his arms.

"I've missed this so much..." Draco whispered.

"The two of us in a dangerous situation that causes us to all pull together? I must remember that." Draco pinched Harry on the side.

"You know what I meant."

"I know. I've missed this too. I've missed you like a blind man misses the sight of his son." Draco held him tighter to himself and hid his face in Harry's shoulder. Harry waved one hand and the door shut with a gentle click. Harry kissed Draco gently at first but then their kisses became increasingly more demanding. Harry pulled at Draco's clothes as he manuevered the two of them towards their bed. By the time Draco felt the matress hitting the backs of his knees, the two were barechested and Draco's pants were around his knees. Harry pushed Draco down and knelt down beside the bed. He took off his lover's shoes and pulled the pants the rest of the way down. He struggled out of his own shoes and pants before sliding up his lover's perfect alabaster body and kissing him breathless. They shifted together on the bed so that their legs weren't hanging over the edge anymore. Harry moved Draco's legs apart and gently pushed into him. Draco gasped and moaned at the feeling of Harry inside him again.

"Merlin you are so tight," Harry whispered. "You feel so good. Can you feel me inside you?"

"Yes... yes... you feel so good inside me. Harry..." Harry began to thrust into him faster and Draco found he was no longer able to think properly much less form words. All he could do was moan and pant. His short nails dug into Harry's shoulders as he arched his back and silently screamed his release. Harry gave one last thrust before grabbing onto Draco and holding him as tightly as he could through his own orgasm. They held each other still as they slowly came down from their orgasmic high. Harry buried his head in Draco's chest and concentrated on the sound of his lover's heartbeat.

"Do you.." Draco felt Harry's fingers gently rest on his lips.

"Not right now," Harry whispered. Draco held his lover a little tighter and kissed him on the top of his head.

That night Remus, Harry, and Draco all sat down to dinner together. Remus had cooked spaghetti and meatballs. They calmly ate, drank pumpkin juice, and filled Harry in on all that he had missed. All the death eaters had been killed. There were now laws in that all werewolves must be branded and cataloged or else they would be killed on sight. Some of the more eccentric wizards like Mad Eye Moody and Slughorn had been questioned and harassed so much that they had gone into hiding where not even their closest friends could find them. Trelawny was being adamently protected by Professor McGonagal along with Hagrid and all the creatures in the Forbidden Forest. Harry was surprised when they told him that some of the other professors like McGonagal were being looked at as well.

"Why would they be looking at McGonagal?"

"She's an Animagus," said Remus. "It's not something that can be done by just anyone. That's why wizards who do it have to be registered to begin with. And the fact that she is protecting so many that they want to attack is making all of the higher ups nervous." Harry rolled his eyes and sighed. "I know. It almost makes me wish I was still teaching at Hogwarts. At least then I could be under her constant hedge of protection."

"Anything else?" Draco and Remus looked at each other. "There is something else." Draco took a deep breath before he began.

"Harry... Hermione, Fred, and George decided to put together a resistance to the current government." Harry felt a chill go down his spine. "It wasn't anything violent. You should have been proud of the twins. They put harmless practical jokes here and there. They posted signs and had meetings going against the government. They're in Azkaban now."

"What? What for?"

"They led a protest at the center where werewolves were being held before they were branded and cataloged. They were arrested for crimes against the government." Harry ran his fingers through his long hair that was now growing down his neck and stared at the ceiling.

"I can't believe that this is happening."

"You're not the only one," said Remus with a sigh.

"What... what are we going to do?"

"Tonight? You and Draco are going to sleep in your bed. I'm going to sleep in my bed. And tomorrow morning we will discuss what needs to be done over breakfast. This was enough for one night." Harry didn't feel like protesting. His head was buzzing with thoughts and his body still felt sore from breaking the spell that kept him hidden. Remus cleared the table while Harry and Draco silently made their way upstairs together. They didn't speak. Once they got into their room, Draco shut the door behind them. They both pulled off their clothes and Draco gasped when Harry turned and he could see a huge dark bruise that was at the center of Harry's chest.

"Yeah, I know," said Harry looking down. "It doesn't feel as bad as it looks really." Both of them climbed into bed naked and cuddled close together. Harry nuzzled into Draco's neck and chest and Draco's head rested on top of Harry's.

"I love you, Harry," said Draco softly.

"I love you, Draco."


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...

So... this is planning, a little mushiness, and other such things. Just setting everything up for the next chapter... that I need to write. Just a kiss or two between the boys, nothing graphic.

* * *

Draco woke up the next morning alone. He reached for the pillow and held it tightly to his body. He inhaled Harry's scent deeply. He got out of bed and put his black robe on. He shuffled down the stairs and into the kitchen. As he walked in he saw Remus and Harry sitting at the table. Harry looked up at Draco and smiled.

"So, sleeping beauty finally wakes," said Harry as he stood and kissed his husband.

"Now I'm awake, after all, she was supposed to be awoken by a kiss."

"All right you two," said Remus with a playful smile on his face, "let's not get too involved. We have a few long days ahead of us."

"What have you two been talking about while I was still asleep?" asked Draco calmly. He was determined to be neutral about all of this and keep his opinions about Harry being back to himself. He really wished that Harry had stayed in Ireland. But that option was no longer open to any of them.

"Well, Remus and I have been trying to think of what to do. First off, we want to gather together as many people as we can who are against the current government. Then, we're going to walk into the Ministry of Magic and confront them about their actions."

"Confront? Harry, you might get into a lot of trouble for that."

"I realize that. They might even send people after us, but there are alot of people in Ministry who don't like what is going on either. We're hoping that when someone stands up they will all stand up."

"This could be dangerous."

"I know. But you'll be with me. I can't think of anyone better to watch my back." Draco shook his head.

"I don't know if you want me watching your back."

"Why not?"

"When the shooting starts, I'll be the first to be fired at."

"Not necessarily," said Remus calmly. "When it comes down to it, they want to kill oddities first, not other wizards."

"They killed Severus."

"Yes. But he was a Death Eater."

"Emphasis on the word was."

"I realize that Draco. More than you may ever know. But I doubt they would kill Harry. He is still the Boy who killed Voldemort. And you are his husband. Like it or not, Harry is a very powerful wizard and people are scared to go up against him. Which also means they will be scared to go up against you." Draco clenched his jaw and tried to keep his anger down.

"I know you're angry about this Draco," said Remus in a calm tone. "I can see it in your eyes. I'm angry that Harry has to do this too. I was angry that Severus was a spy. I was angry when he willingly went with the government knowing that he was would be killed. Oh yes, Draco, he knew. He knew exactly what they were going to do to him and he told me so. I begged him and pleaded with him to hide away some where. We could hide together I said. We could make this work. But he feared for my safety and for yours. And so he let them take him away from us. He hoped to find some way to sway their thinking while he was there. But that didn't happen. And now all that we can do now is fix what we can." Draco took a deep breath and felt Harry's nervous hand touch his. He willingly took his lover's hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"When?"

"We'll start getting the word out today. There are only a few channels that the government doesn't monitor, but it can be done. We will see how fast we can bring everyone together. Once that is done, we will have to convince them to walk into the halls of the government with us and that will be no easy trick. But I hope that at least some of them will remember the people we have lost because of this and will want to fight back. I'm guessing it won't be for another few days." Draco nodded silently. "Draco I know this is a long shot, but is there anyone that you can think of who would be willing to stand with us?" Draco thought for a long moment about all the children he used to play with and the friends that he had who's parents were death eaters but they never took the mark themselves.

"Blaise Zabini would be your first best bet. He and I have been best friends for so long that we started rebelling against our parents at the same time. Tony Kobayashi, his parents were death eaters." Harry looked at him with wide eyes. "It's not a fact he likes to publish for obvious reasons. Once they know you're the son of a death eater, you're marked for life. He has spent years trying to escape his father and mother's shadow. He's almost done it too. Those are the only two I can think of right now. Give me some more time and I might be able to think of some more." Remus nodded.

"The more we have the better."

The three of them spent the day contacting the people they could think of and calling them together for another generation of the Order of the Phoenix. That night thirteen people showed up: McGonagall, Slughorn, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Tonks, Mad Eye Moody (who as usual insisted on taking nine different routes to the house and thus arrived last), Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Professor Flitwick, Blaise Zabini, Tony Kobayashi, Neville Longbottom, Firenze, and Hagrid. They extended the table to fit all of them and Remus, Harry, and Draco sat at the head of the table. After everyone was seated, Harry slowly stood and tapped his wand on the table. Everyone fell silent and looked to Harry.

"You all know why you've been called. In honesty, we wrote fifty people today. Thirteen stand before us. After what I tell you, some of you may wish to back out. You may do so, no hard feelings, no words of animosity, no threats. I can only ask you to do what you are willing to do. We all know what has been happening in the government. None of us are happy with it. I'm offering you a chance to change this situation. We're going to confront the government with their actions. The plan currently is to march into the halls of the Ministry of Magic and with people on the inside, take back the Ministry from the people who have made it this way. We need everyone we can find to help with this mission." Harry sat down. Everyone remained silent.

"Well," said Blaise who was surprisingly the first to speak, "we should get a plan started now shouldn't we?" Maybe he understood better than anyone else that this situation needed someone to stand up and agree with it.

"Well, there are four people here including me who are currently in the government," said Shacklebolt. "And I think that we each know of others who agree that the government is getting out of hand." Tonks, Arthur Weasley, and Neville all nodded to him. "We can pull together enough people that you won't have much resistance other than the usual fanatics and bigoted scum. They can be overtaken."

"Once some of the others we know find out that Draco and I are with you, there are some others who while they rebeled against their parents and never took the mark, they're pissed that their parents were killed," said Blaise. "We'll try to keep the ones who want revenge out."

"Moody and I know a few other wizards who have hidden away from the world," said Slughorn. "We can get them back to England within the week." The rest agreed to call their friends and others that they knew were against the government. They would meet again in five days.

That night Harry made dinner. He made some chicken penne and set the table for the three of them. Dinner was quiet and tense. Harry's thoughts were occupied with who all he should call next and what should be done once they get there. And once this is all over, and everything is under control again, what would he do then? What would Draco do? He couldn't imagine life without his husband again. If he decided to slip away again, he wanted Draco to come with him. Draco was also thinking that once all was said and done that Harry would want to hide away again. He wasn't sure if he was coming with Harry this time.

That night, after dinner was done and several drinks had crossed their lips, Draco and Harry nestled down into bed together.

"Draco?" Harry whispered tentatively.

"I'm still awake Harry," said Draco in a soft voice.

"When this is all over, I want you to come and hide away with me." Draco looked at him in the dark and sould see only Harry's calm eyes staring back. "I love you my darling. I can't live without you next to me. I need you to be with me. But I want to know, do you want to come away with me?" Draco almost laughed in relief.

"Of course I'll come away with you Harry."

"Even if it means giving up your friends?"

"All I need is you. I'll find other friends. It will be all right. I'll have you." Draco kissed his husband tenderly and then let Harry bury his head in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around his angel and fell asleep calm in the knowledge that no matter what happened, when all was said and done, they would be together.


	19. Chapter 19

Yes, yes, I know it's been an inexcusably long time. Finally graduated from college, got boyfriend, got dumped by boyfriend, and now dislocated knee cap. So we shall see.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, blah blah blah diddy blah

WARNING: gay relationship, kissing, but no graphic descriptions this time. Sorry, just had the story flowing out of my so completely and there was no time to write in all the sex. I will make up for it somewhere.

* * *

Five days later, everyone was sitting around the table. Their numbers had now grown to twenty nine in all including Harry, Draco, and Remus. Each person had managed to convince one other to come along.

"Well," Harry whispered into Draco's ear, "it's not the army I had hoped for, but it will have to do." Harry took a deep breath and tapped his wand gently on the table. Everyone became quiet.

"I want to first thank everyone for coming," Harry said in a clear voice. "This is no small task that I am asking you all to do. But it must be done. The day after tomorrow we will be marching into the Ministry of Magic. I'm giving everyone a day to prepare. Put your affairs in order, enjoy yourselves. I can't guarantee that everyone is coming back from this."

"Eh, I've lived long enough," said Mad Eye Moody with a shrug. "Like it or not Harry, we knew the risks when we came here and we know what we are getting into." Harry nodded to them in appreciation.

"Then let's get started." They sat down and exchanged the spells and charms that they were each good at. They discussed late into the night how they were getting in past the guards and what all was going to happen. Draco half listened to most of the conversation. His eyes were focused on Harry. He hardly noticed when Harry broke up the meeting and each person left one at a time. When they had been left alone, Harry reached down and gently shook Draco's shoulder.

"What?" Draco asked thinking that Harry had just said something.

"I said, are you hungry or do you want to go on to bed?" Harry asked.

"I'm too tired to eat. I'm going to bed." Harry nodded and kissed Draco on the forehead. After Draco was up the stairs and out of ear shot, Remus turned to Harry.

"That's not what you said," said Remus.

"What are you talking about Remus?" said Harry rolling together the blueprints of the Ministry of Magic.

"You didn't ask him if he was hungry you ended a spell. A Confundus Spell. How much money are you willing to bet that if I went up there and asked him when we are going and what we are doing he won't be able to tell me a damn thing?"

"What would you have me do Remus!" Harry shouted suddenly incensed. "He's my lover. And you and I both know that if he walks into the Ministry of Magic he will be killed on the spot."

"He wanted to be beside you when the fighting started. He wanted to be with you. Doesn't that mean anything to you? It's his decision, not yours Harry."

"I'm making it my decision."

"Why?"

"Stop it Remus! I'm protecting him. I'm protecting the man I love."

"You can't protect him forever. He will hate you for this."

"I know." Remus stared at him bewildered. He wasn't used to this kind of response. The response he was used to was 'They will understand in time'. "I know he will hate me Remus. I know he will hate me with every fiber of his being for keeping him away from the fight. I know he will hate me every day for what I do now. But I would rather have him hate me, than have him dead." Harry flicked his wand and the plans disappeared.

"You won't be able to survive Harry."

"Tomorrow, Draco and I will have a perfect day together. One perfect day. The next day I will go into battle. Maybe I'll live, maybe I'll die. But Draco will still be alive. If I live, I won't come back here. I'll go back to the house I was living in. It's still unplottable. And if I slip out quickly enough, Neville and the others have orders to cover my tracks and keep me from being found."

"And what if Draco wants to find you?"

"If he wants to find me it will be to cut off my head."

"Don't be so sure. Yes, his immediate action will be to angry with you. But give him a few days, weeks, maybe months. And it will wear off. What do I do then when he asks where you are?"

"You use your best judgement Remus. But do not tell him until he tells you that he loves me. Promise me that Remus. If Draco ever comes to you looking for me, he has to say to you in his request that he loves me before you tell him where I am."

"I promise Harry." Harry nodded.

"I don't know if I will even be able to sleep tonight... my brain keeps racing and trying to think over and over again what is going to happen."

"Try to get some sleep. Tomorrow may be the last day you ever get to spend with Draco." Harry nodded and went upstairs. Draco was all ready asleep. Harry crawled in under the covers and pulled Draco's body next to his. Harry whispered quietly in Draco's ear,

"No matter what happens, no matter what I do, remember one thing Draco. Everything that I do, I do because I love you." Draco murmured slightly in sleep and cuddled closer to Harry. Harry felt tears stinging his eyes. Remus was right. Draco might never forgive him for what he was about to do.

* * *

The next morning Draco slowly stirred and felt Harry still lying next to him. He smiled and slowly opened his eyes. He was surprised. They weren't in their bedroom anymore. It was their old room at Hogwarts that they used to have. He looked around and slowly began to sit up.

"Surprised?" Harry said quietly.

"How did we get back here?" Draco asked looking around. "I thought..."

"We're not actually at Hogwarts. We're still at my house. I just made the room up to look like our room at Hogwarts." Draco turned back to Harry and saw the seductive grin on his face.

"What are you grinning at fool?"

"You. You look beautiful this morning."

"You say that every morning."

"Because it's true." Draco smiled and leaned down and kissed Harry.

"What are we doing today?" Draco asked.

"We are staying here."

"In bed?"

"We've always dreamed of spending a day together in bed. Why don't we?" The two smiled and started kissing again. And that was how they spent the day. They ate, slept, talked, giggled, kissed, and made love all day long. After making love one last time they finally fell asleep.

Harry woke up at two in the morning. The illusion of their room at Hogwarts had melted away. Harry slowly moved away from Draco and stared at him for about ten minutes.

"I'm sorry Draco," he whispered. "I hope you forgive me for this one day." He passed a hand over Draco's head and cast a spell that made sure Draco would be asleep for the next ten hours. He wouldn't wake up until long after everything was said and done. Harry took a shower, got dressed in all black, put on his boots and his cloak. He leaned down one last time and kissed Draco on the lips. Then he walked out the door.

* * *

The Minister of Magic was starting his day as it always started. He got his coffee in Diagon Alley and made his way to the Ministry. He took his secret elevator up to his office. Had he gone through the front door and up to his office like everyone else did, he would have seen the destruction. Several misfired charms had blasted holes in the walls. A few bodies lay on the floor. Some lay on the floor because they were injured or unable to stand without vomiting. Some were being arrested and taken away. It was the end. The Minister just didn't know it yet. As he stepped into his office, his first indication that something was amiss was when he saw a young wizard with long black hair tied back in a pony tail sitting at his desk.

"Who in the name of all that is magical are you?" he asked with fury in his voice. The man did not like interruptions or things out of order like this. It simply wasn't convenient. Two green eyes that stared intently behind spectacles looked up at him. He was startled by the eyes even more than by the wizard himself.

"I am Harry Potter. I'm sure you've heard of me before." The minister now tried to put on his diplomatic face thinking that Mr. Potter had come to see him on some business matter.

"Well, Mr. Potter, I must say this is a great honor-"

"You did go up by the secret elevator today," said Harry suddenly. "Neville was almost certain that you were going to go through the main doors since you do that every Friday. Today is Friday isn't it?"

"Well, yes, but today I didn't even think about it. I have some important legislation to get to so if you don't mind-"

"I've all ready taken care of that." Now the minister's face was turning a bright purple.

"You've done-"

"You were going to order the cold-blooded murder of every child of a death eater today. That piece of legislation has been thrown out. Not only that, you were also going to order that any questionable wizards on this list be hunted down and killed. These wizards have done nothing to harm you or any other wizards that I know of. That piece of legislation has also been thrown out. The Ministry of Magic, well, what is left of it that hasn't been arrested for crimes against magic, has appointed me as the temporary Minister of Magic. My first order of business is to have you arrested for crimes against magic."

"What crimes have I-"

"You ordered the systematic murder of the Death Eaters. Not all of them were evil anymore. Many were absolutely fine conforming to life without Voldemort. Not only that, you have had werewolves, giants, and centaurs killed because they can't be trusted. Yet you have no proof for any of this. Therefore, I have ordered your arrest." He finished writing on the piece of paper just as the doors burst open and two guards from Azkaban came into the room. "Ah, very good. Here's the arrest warrant for the former Minister of Magic." He passed them the piece of paper and the minister was taken away still wide-eyed and blubbering. Harry sighed and sat down at the desk again. Remus walked into the room a few minutes after.

"So Harry, what now?"

"Now, I appoint a permanent Minister of Magic and slip away through the cracks."

"You can't do that Harry, the people here appointed you for this position."

"I was appointed as a temporary minister Remus. The key words there being temporary. I'm only here for today. And everyone is going to have to accept the person who I appoint. And so are you."

"Harry, you know I trust your judgement."

"Good, because you're the new Minister of Magic." Harry handed Remus the piece of paper he had just signed naming Remus his successor.

"Harry... I can't possibly..."

"Oh yes, you can and you will, sir. Now if you'll excuse me." Harry was almost to the door before Remus said,

"You're not even going to say good bye?"

"I don't want to Remus. I might appear again one day. In the mean time, keep my secret and cover my tracks if you don't mind."

"I'll cast the spells myself."

"I love you, Remus. You're one of the few people I have always been able to trust."

"I love you too, Harry. I hope you have a wonderful life. And I do hope that you will come back one day." Harry walked out of the door.

* * *

Draco rolled over and opened his eyes hours later. He looked at the clock.

"How in the world did I sleep until noon?" He looked around and didn't seen any sign of Harry anywhere. He looked at the bedside table and saw that the blue marble, the marble that was Harry's world was gone. The red marble was still there, but the purple marble had a small note attached to it. Draco untied the note and opened the small piece of paper. It read:

_I'm sorry Draco, I just couldn't run the risk of you getting hurt. I cast a sleeping spell on you last night to make sure you slept through the battle. By now I'm either dead or have left the magical world to live on my own somewhere. I'm sorry. I love you._

Draco felt his body fill with rage.

"Harry how could you!" he screamed out to the empty room.


	20. Chapter 20

I know, I wrote a chapter fast... and I might post another tonight. We'll just have to see how things go. Suddenly, this story is working again! Yay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, just borrowing him.

No kissing or sex or anything like that. Sorry guys. Can't be a love fest every time.

* * *

Harry sat in his chair next to the fire. It was slowly starting to die and Harry kept staring at the flickering flames. He took a sip of wine and let the alcohol flow through his veins. He glanced up at the mantle piece and saw a picture in a silver frame. It was a picture of Harry and Draco. They laughed and smiled at each other and occasionally kissed. It was a picture of perfect times. Times that now seemed so long ago. Harry thought to himself and counted up the days it had been since he had last seen Draco.

"Three years," he whispered to himself. "Three long years since I've seen you." His eyes went back to the picture just as Draco gave Harry a gorgeous smile. The sight almost made Harry's heart break. He refilled his glass and quickly gulped down the wine.

Three years before, after everything he needed to put in order had been put in order, he came to his house in Ireland. The town was just as he had remembered, not that he had expected it to change. Little towns like these never seemed to change no matter what happened. He found everything as he had left it. Since he hadn't seen a magical reporter or even another witch or wizard, he assumed that Remus had cast the spells very well to keep anyone from finding him. He got there just seconds after leaving the Ministry of Magic. Once he got there, he threw everything down, landed on his knees and cried. He had promised Draco that after everything was said and done the two of them would be together forever. But now he had managed to make Draco hate him because he wanted to make sure Draco would live. He had broken his promise to Draco, because he loved Draco.

"How strange that an act of love would drive you from me and make me break my promise to you," he said to the empty walls. "I hope you always remember that I love you. Hate me all you want. But I want you to remember that I love you."

He waited. He waited for days. He waited for weeks and months. When it got to the first year, Harry started to wonder if Draco would ever come. Now it had been three years to the day. Harry still hoped somewhere in the back of his mind that Draco would one day forgive him and come back to him. Harry sighed and was getting up from his chair when there was a tap at his window. He squinted through the dark rainy night and tried to make out the face of the person outside the door. Whoever it was wore a black cloak with the hood up over his face. Harry took his wand in his hand and opened the door a crack. He was surprised when Remus's eyes looked up at him.

"Let an old friend in Harry? It's bloody freezing out here."

"Of course, Remus," he said a little bewildered and stepped out of the way holding the door open. Harry put another two logs on the fire after shutting the door and waved his wand to put the kettle on the stove and start some tea. Remus rubbed his hands together and held them in front of the fire.

"How are things in the magical world?" Harry asked trying to gather his thoughts. He hadn't seen Remus in three years. He hadn't seen anyone from the magical world in three years. This interruption to his usually quiet life was a little disorienting.

"They're going fine. At first there was some resistance here and there. There was some question as to why I had been appointed, what right did you have to appoint me, on and on like that. But after some good compromises and some good legislation going through and of course the support of Hogwarts, things got better. How have you been doing Harry? You look..."

"You can say it Remus. I know what I look like."

"All right, you look thin, pale, and like death warmed over."

"Well, Remus, you look a little plumper, there's some more red in your cheeks, and you look very happy."

"I never thought I would like working as the Minister of Magic."

"It seems to suit you well." Harry went into the kitchen and got the tray with the tea pot, tea cups, sugar bowl, and cream. He sat it down on the small coffee table between them and poured the first cup of tea.

"People miss you, Harry." Harry glanced up at him and poured the second cup of tea. "Ok, I miss you. So does Hagrid, so do your friends." Harry put the sugar in their tea and poured cream into Remus's cup. He lifted his cup of tea just as Remus said,

"Draco won't admit it but he misses you too." Remus froze the cup of tea that Harry had dropped before it landed on the floor. He plucked the cup from mid-air and carefully collected each drop of tea and half a dissolved sugar cube into the cup. He carefully put it back down on the saucer and held it up to Harry. Harry still stared at him with wide eyes. "Well, it's not going to stay hot forever you know." Harry finally snapped out of it and took the cup of tea from Remus's hand. He slowly sat down and sipped his tea.

"I have to say Harry, I didn't think it would take three years for him to finally come around. I thought it would take decades with how angry he was."

"How bad was it?"

"He screamed, he yelled, he threatened, he demanded to know where you were again and again so that he could make you pay. No one ever told him. Mostly because no one knew but me."

"How often did he ask you?"

"At first, every day. He became such a regular in my office that my secretary would immediately put a silencing spell around the office as he walked in. For six solid months, every single day, he demanded to know where you were. After that, he would come in one a week. After a year, he stopped asking."

"How is he?"

"These days, he works on Diagon Alley. He opened his own potions shop. He makes the best potions anywhere. He is making good money."

"But...?"

"He's not happy. Everyone can see that. I think he misses you. That's the only explanation I can come up with. But he hasn't asked me where you are in two years."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Two days ago. I took him out to dinner for old time's sake. We talked for a while. Mostly about current affairs, potions he is working on, old times, and suddenly he brought up the subject of you." Harry raised an eyebrow. "He asked if I had heard about you at all. He didn't ask where you were, just if I had heard about you. I told him that I had gotten word from you recently and that you were doing well. He asked if you were teaching or anything like that. I told him that you were living simply and comfortably. He took it as an answer surprisingly enough. Then he said, 'I don't suppose you would tell me where he is if I asked you now would you?'" Harry felt his pulse quicken. "I replied, 'That depends on how you ask me.'" Now

Remus gave him a sympathetic look. "I am sorry Harry. He didn't even try to ask me where you were. He just dropped the subject completely like the last four or five sentences hadn't happened and started asking me about the potions I have to buy from him and if they were working well enough."

"Draco is making your Wofsbane Potion now?"

"Yes, he is. At quite a reasonable price I might add considering the price of the ingredients he has to get to make it and all the time he has to invest-"

"All right! All right, I get the picture. Draco Malfoy has become a bloody saint in my absence."

"Draco Malfoy-Potter, Harry." Harry furrowed his brows and stared at Remus.

"What?"

"Well, the two of you are married after all. Draco never dropped your name after you left. He absolutely insists on being called Mr. Potter. He says it helps him keep a low profile and distances himself from his family just enough that people just gloss over the fact that his parents were death eaters."

"So, it's just for his convenience that he keeps my name."

"It's more than that Harry. He hears someone call him by that name and he gets a slightly distant look in his eye. He thinks of you. I know he does. He wants you back Harry. He just doesn't know how to ask for you."

"I told you, he has to ask you where I am because he loves me."

"I know that Harry. But I think you're not realizing the fact that he doesn't know that. He hasn't asked me where you are in two years because he knows I won't tell him and I think he keeps thinking that you will come back." Harry turned away from Remus and began staring into the fire again. "Well, that wasn't the only reason I came. There is some business that you need to attend to."

"What business?"

"There is the matter of the house. It's still in your name and Draco's. Draco would like to sell it since it doesn't make sense to him that he should live in a huge house all by himself. He told me he would rather live in a small flat in London."

"So tell him to sell it. What do I care?"

"Harry, it's also in your name. And you and Draco are the only ones who can go in and out freely. Everyone else needs the permission of Draco or... well, just Draco these days. For the house to be sold, you have to come into town and sign the papers over to Draco."

"Will he be there?"

"I'm afraid he has to be. Five minutes Harry. Surely you can stand five minutes."

"Yes, all right. I'll come. Where should we do this?"

"I thought my office at the ministry would be the best place. It will be private and no one has to see you there."

"All right. Tomorrow?"

"That's fine. What time?"

"Two in the afternoon. I'll have lunch and a couple of drinks before I come over. Get my barriers up properly."

"Harry..."

"Remus." A tense silence drew out for a few minutes before Remus got up from his chair.

"I'll expect to see you at two o'clock tomorrow in my office. You can apparate in."

"Thank you, Remus."

"Harry, if you could just-"

"Remus, I don't want to hear it. I'm doing this so Draco can sell the house. I'll see him for all of five minutes. And then I will be gone again. And I don't want to talk about this any further."

"All right, Harry. All right. I'll see you tomorrow then." Remus walked out into the cold night and apparated back to London. Harry stared into the flames until the fire died down again and he went upstairs to bed.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, etc. etc. etc.

Ok, there is a kiss. But that's all for now. I'm sorry guys, you're just going to have to bear with me while the boys piece their relationship back together. I have to think of what to do next...

Also, sorry this chap is so long, I just started writing and kept writing.

* * *

At exactly two o'clock in the afternoon, Draco and Remus both jumped when they heard the snap of someone apparating into the room. Harry appeared before them dressed in all black. The black made him look even more thin and pale than when Remus had seen him the night before. Draco noted that Harry was wearing his now long black hair in a pony tail. The length had indeed finally caused Harry's hair to become tamable. The look in Harry's eyes chilled Draco to the bone. Draco thought to himself, 'Maybe this was a bad idea.' But they were in it now and there was no turning back.

"Hello Harry," said Remus. "Why don't you have a seat?" He gestured to the chair next to Draco's. Harry took in a deep breath and made an effort to walk in a straight line to the chair. He had realized too late that he had drunk one to many fire whiskeys at lunch and was now trying to remain calm and in control. He slowly sat down next to Draco. Draco had watched Harry walk to the chair and knew that Harry was drunk.

'Great, a drunk and angry Harry,' Draco thought to himself.

"Do you have the papers for me to sign?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yes," said Remus pulling out a small packet of papers. "These papers put the house in Draco's name. You might want to read-"

"Where do I sign?" Remus sighed and turned to the back page.

"Just sign on the line here," he said pointing to the line on the left that had Harry's name printed under it. Harry pulled out a quill and quickly signed it. "And Draco, you need to sign right here." Draco took the quill that Harry offered and signed the line with his name printed under it. "All right then, the house is now in Draco's name. When do you want to sell it?"

"As soon as I get everything cleared out." Harry suddenly started thinking about all the things he had left at the house. His trunk, his owl, his clothes, his favorite boots, and now he began to wonder how Draco would get everything out.

"How will you... what are you..." Draco and Remus both waited patiently as Harry's fuzzy brain tried to come up with the words that he wanted to say. "What are you going to do with all the stuff that is still in the house?"

"I hadn't really thought about it. I was going to sort through my things first, throw away anything that won't fit in a small apartment."

"What about the stuff I left there?" Draco realized then that Harry had left a lot of stuff at the house.

"I... I hadn't thought about it to be honest. I guess I would put it all together in a trunk and give it to Remus to send to you."

"Well, how do you know what all to get?"

"Harry, I did live with you for a while and I think I know-"

"No, no you don't know. Now look, I'm going to the house to sort through my things myself so they will be out of your way. It should only take me a few hours."

"As you wish, Harry." Harry stood up from his chair.

"I'll only be a few hours."

"Do you want to be alone?"

"It's your house Draco, come and go as you please." Harry apparated away and left Remus and Draco sitting in his office in slight bewilderment.

"Oh no..." said Remus suddenly.

"What?" said Draco. But before Remus could respond they both heard a crash and turned to see a crumpled Harry on the floor.

"It's your house, Draco," said Remus. "Harry can't apparate in anymore."

"Oh bugger!" Draco shouted and started to run to Harry but then Harry held one hand up.

"No, don't get up," he said still not looking up. "I should have thought of that. Stupid magical guards and all that crap."

"I was about to go back anyway. I can apparate you there." Harry thought for a moment and rubbed his aching head.

"Yeah, all right." He slowly stood up and held out his hand. Draco felt his mouth go dry. He stood up, crossed the room, and carefully took Harry's hand before Harry could change his mind. He quickly apparated the both of them back to what was once their house.

When they got there, Harry stumbled backwards a step causing Draco to squeeze Harry's hand a little tighter and with his other hand gently grabbed Harry's other arm to steady him.

"I hate apparating," he muttered to himself. "Especially apparating when drunk." He then realized that Draco was the one keeping him from falling over and straightened himself up. "Sorry about that, Draco."

"It's all right." Draco slowly and regretfully pulled himself away from Harry. Draco was just astounded that Harry was in the house again. "Do you need any help-"

"I'm not an invalid I can get up the stairs."

"I meant, do you need any help sorting things out?" Harry paused.

"Not really. I don't think I do." Harry slowly started to climb the stairs leaving Draco on the first floor.

"Well, let me know if you need any help," Draco called after him. Harry responded with a salute and continued on up the stairs. It had been so long since Harry had been there. And yet, it still felt so familiar. Draco had kept almost everything the same as it had been. Nothing had changed. It seemed so surreal to Harry that he ran his fingertips along the walls just to be certain they were real. He touched objects that he used to touch all the time to be certain that this wasn't a dream. He really was back in his home again. Harry opened the door to their bedroom and peaked in. The bed was perfectly made and everything had a thin layer of dust on it. Dust? Harry realized that Draco hadn't been in the room in years most likely. Everything had been left exactly the way Harry had left it three years ago. He sat down on the bed feeling tired and started to look around and plan.

"The bed side tables, the couch, the bed, that trunk... that painting... that mirror... the-" And suddenly Harry felt the breath knocked out of him even though no one had hit him physically. He had turned his head to look at the other table. The note he had left for Draco was still there with a fine layer of dust on it. The purple marble was still there. But Draco's marble was gone. The tears that Harry had been holding back now seemed to be demanding to be shed. Harry turned back and looked up at the open doorway. Draco stood frozen in the doorway. He had been caught peering in on Harry.

"I'm... I'm sorry..." Harry whispered. He whispered it so softly Draco almost didn't hear it. But when he was certain of what Harry had said, Draco felt his knees weaken and his heart melt. "I'm so... so sorry Draco. I'm sorry." Draco took in a deep breath. He began reminding himself in his head,

'Do not run into his arms, do not fall to your knees before him, he's the one who left, he's the one who needs to apologize, he's the one who needs to explain himself, and I must say everything I need to say before I let this man near my heart again. Too bad he's all ready in my heart and always will be.'

"Sorry for what?" Draco said trying to remain calm. He had screamed these words at Harry so many times in his head and he wanted to keep from screaming them now.

"I'm sorry that I left. I'm sorry that I cast a Confundus Spell on you at the last meeting. I'm sorry I cast a sleeping spell on you so that you wouldn't be at the battle. I'm sorry that I left you behind. I'm sorry that I kept you from doing something you wanted to do. I'm sorry that I did what I did. I wanted to make sure you would be safe."

"And you didn't trust me to keep myself safe?" Draco could feel the anger rising inside of him.

"I was afraid." Draco felt himself start to shake. He had expected Harry to say something like, Yes I trust you, but I don't trust them or I couldn't take that risk. "I was afraid that you would die. You... you are an incredible wizard Draco. I know that you could have held your own in that battle. I know that you would have almost certainly come out of there alive."

"Almost, certainly come out alive."

"I know. That's why I did what I did. I did it because I love you and-"

"If you loved me Harry you would have let me make my own decisions and gone into battle with the rest of you."

"And I was afraid. Believe me Draco, I understand why you hate me."

"You have no idea."

"No, I do. Dumbledore kept many things from me. Many, many things that I should have known from the beginning but didn't find out until much later and after I had lost too many. He did it, he said, because he wanted to protect me. I remember how I hated him then. I trashed his office even." Draco looked at Harry astounded.

"You? You trashed Dumbledore's office?"

"I did. Smashed many things and screamed at him."

"What did he do?"

"Remained calm as usual. Told me to keep destroying his things, he had far too many. I know you're angry with me Draco. I knew that you would be angry with me when I did it. I knew you would probably hate me for years, maybe even decades. That's why I went away when the battle was over and I was surprisingly left still alive. I should have died so many times before."

"But you didn't."

"No, I didn't. I guess I keep amusing the fates enough that they keep letting me stick around. Draco, I'm sorry for a thousand things. But I am more sorry about betraying you than you can ever imagine." The two stared into each other's familiar eyes for what seemed like an eternal silence.

"I can't forgive you, Harry," said Draco slowly. "Not today."

"One day?" said Harry with a small note of hope.

"Perhaps. Just not today."

"I wasn't expecting miracles. Just a chance."

"A chance at what?"

"A chance that... maybe, one day, you could forgive me and we could be together again."

"Harry..."

"I know, I've betrayed you. I betrayed your trust and broke promises and let you sit in the dark for three years. And I know it doesn't make a difference right now for me to say I'm sorry. But I am. And I know I don't deserve to even be speaking to you after everything I've done. I expected to be hexed on the spot when I came to Remus's office today. But I miss you. I miss you terribly. All I want is a chance Draco. And if I mess it up again or you don't want me around all you have to do is tell me and I'll go. But I want to try to regain your trust again. I want to try to build back what we had before we tear it down completely."

"Harry..." Draco finally moved from the doorway, across the room, and sat down next to Harry on the bed. "For three years I've waited for you to come back. At first, I wanted to hurt you, beat you to a pulp, scream at you, all kinds of things. But I probably would have killed you. And how would that look? The bad boy turned good finally shows his true nature and kills the great Harry Potter in a fit of homicidal rage. That would have destroyed all the good that was about to happen. Slowly but surely, I calmed down. I realized that you wouldn't have done what you did without a reason. I knew the reason had to be some combination of you were afraid I would die and that you loved me. I never thought you would admit to the being afraid part though. I knew there had to be a reason. But I also knew, that no matter what the reason, you still betrayed me and you still hurt me very badly. Unfortunately, I still love you. It seems no matter how much I hated you and still hate you, I can't stop that from happening. So, yes Harry. You get a chance. But only one. If you betray me, or hurt me again, I will evict you from my life and never let you back in again. Do you understand me?"

"Yes. Yes, Draco I understand." Draco nodded and stared at his shoes.

"Where have you been living this whole time?"

"In my secret house in Ireland."

"Remus knew?"

"He was the only one who knew."

"Then it's probably best that he never told me. You probably made him swear to never tell me."

"No, I told him that he could tell you, but only if you asked him a certain way." Draco turned and stared at Harry would a look of confusion.

"So that's why Remus told me that whole cryptic 'That depends on how you ask me' thing. How was I supposed to ask him?"

"I won't tell you, you'll have to figure it out one day." Harry stood and started walking to the door.

"Are you leaving?"

"No, I'm not leaving. I want a cup of coffee." Draco shook his head at his own insecurity and quietly chuckled.

"Sorry... I just-"

"It's all right Draco. Would you like some too?"

"Sure. I'll be right down." Harry walked out of the room and Draco listened to him slowly clomp down the stairs. "Only one chance left, Harry. Please don't fuck this one up." Draco walked out of the door and quietly shut it.

"Fuck!" he heard Harry's voice shout from below. He quickly ran down the stairs and saw Harry holding his hand with a rag wrapped around it.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Let me see it."

"What are you? A nurse now?"

"Now and again when you insist on being a baby, now let me see." Draco unwrapped Harry's hand and saw a large burn across his palm.

"That's what I get for trying make coffee..."

"While drunk? I heard you earlier." Draco reached into a cabinet and pulled out a green bottle. "C'mere, and sit down." Harry sat down across from Draco at the kitchen table and rested his hand palm up on the table. "This is going to sting." He poured the green liquid over the burn and Harry whispered in parsel tongue,

"God that stings!"

"What?" said Draco.

"Sorry, just saying that it stings."

"I warned you." Draco rubbed the medicine in with a cloth and then wrapped it up. "I'll get the coffee." Draco poured the coffee from his coffee pot into the two cups that Harry had pulled out. He put the coffee cup down in front of Harry and sat down across from him with his own coffee cup.

'Ok, we can do this,' Draco thought to himself. 'This could work. Just take it slowly.'

"Sorry I showed up to all of this intoxicated. Had one too many fire whiskeys at lunch."

"Why is that? You never drank at lunch before."

"I thought I could use it today. I was... nervous about seeing you again."

"I wasn't going to kill you."

"Draco, you could look at me and kill me with your eyes if you wanted to. I know that I have no defenses against your eyes. Not even alcohol. Getting a little drunk just keeps me from falling apart." Harry sipped on the coffee slowly.

"But now you're sobering up."

"It had to happen eventually. I was intending on sobering up at home... but then I started thinking about everything that I had here and I just wanted to get everything done." They sipped their coffee in silence for a little while. "So, have you found a flat yet?" Harry asked.

"Yes, I found one that I really like. And with the money I'll get from selling the house I'll be able to pay at least the first six month's rent." Harry nodded. "Unless, you want-"

"It's your house now Draco. I signed it over to you. Besides, I have all the money I need." Draco nodded and both went back to sipping their coffee. Once Harry was done with his he stood up from the table.

"I'm going to finish packing up everything," said Harry calmly. "I'll let you know when I'm leaving." Harry started walking away, but he stopped when he heard Draco say,

"You could stay, if you like." Harry sighed and covered Draco's free hand with his.

"Draco, I don't want to mess this up. So, I'm going home tonight. But tomorrow I want to take you out to dinner. I want to court you properly this time and gain the right to be with you." Harry squeezed his hand gently and went upstairs. Draco still sat at the table. He felt like an electric bolt had passed through him. He heard Harry quietly packing things upstairs and getting ready to go back to his house. This wasn't exactly how he had expected the afternoon to go. He had imagined shouting matches, curses thrown back and forth, running into each other's arms and making love all day, never talking, just forgiving everything without question, and burying all feelings under mountains of sex. But that wasn't possible in the real world. It never was.

Three hours later, Harry came down the stairs with a trunk in hand in which he had shrunk down everything that was his and put it in the trunk. Draco was sitting in the front room with a glass of brandy in his hand.

"Well, this is everything that I want to keep. Everything else is yours." Draco stood up and set his drink on one of the side tables. "I'll come back here around five. You should keep this." Harry held out the purple marble.

"Maybe you should keep it."

"You're the one who kept it all this time."

"And you're the one who left it behind." Harry shook his head.

"All right, I don't want to argue. I'll keep it." Harry put it in his pocket. Draco held his hand out to Harry. Harry took it, fully intending to just shake it for a moment, but then he pulled Draco to him and the two hugged each other tightly. Both sighed with relief.

"I promise Draco. I'll be back tomorrow." Draco nodded and slowly started to pull away from him. Harry touched Draco's face and tenderly kissed him on the forehead. Harry then picked up the trunk and walked out the door. Draco heard the snap of someone apparating away. He walked back to his chair and sat down.

"Did it work?" asked Remus as he stepped out from the shadows. Draco almost jumped three feet in the air.

"You have got to stop doing that you know. You scare me."

"Sorry. I didn't want to take the chance of Harry seeing me. So?"

"He's coming back tomorrow to take me out to dinner. He's letting me sell the house still and get a flat. He says he wants to court me properly this time."

"Those were the words he used?"

"Well, we didn't really date the first time so much as fall into bed with each other and then fall in love with each other."

"Sounds like he's making the smart move this time."

"He seems to be."

Draco sipped on his brandy and stared into the flames. He hoped that Harry wouldn't disappoint him this time.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, etc. etc. etc.

WARNING: GAY SEX, kissing, hugging, screwing, all of that.

Also, I don't know of an art exhibit like what I have described, and if one does exist, I do appologize. I just made this one up in my head.

Kudos to all who have reviewed since I started writing this again. I hope all are doing well!

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Draco sat in the living room of his flat in London. He and Harry had been dating for two months now. For two whole months, Harry would plan a date at least once and maybe twice a week. They went out to dinner, to the movies, to a concert, to an art exhibit, and once he even took Draco to the fair. Of all the dates they had gone on, the trip to the fair was the most memorable in Draco's mind. They had ridden the carousels, the Ferris Wheels, a roller coaster, a tunnel of love ride in which they finally made out for the first time in three years, and Harry had won Draco a stuffed white bear by shooting down ducks at a stand. The little bear sat in a place of honor up on the mantle piece. Harry would always walk Draco to his door, kiss him good night, and then leave. At first, Draco didn't mind. After the first month, Draco invited Harry to come in for a night cap. Harry had politely refused and asked if he was doing anything that weekend. Draco brushed it off. Maybe it was still too early. But now it had been two months. Draco was starting to wonder when Harry was going to finally give in. There was a soft knock on the door. Draco knew it was Harry. He was coming to pick him up and take him to dinner and an art exhibit again. He stood up and opened the door.

"Hello love," said Harry as he loosely hugged Draco and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hello Harry," Draco replied putting his arms around Harry and kissing him on the cheek as well.

"You're looking very handsome tonight," said Harry taking a step back.

"Well, you're not chopped liver either," Draco replied. They both grinned as Draco reached for his coat and scarf.

"All ready to go?"

"Yep, just let me... ug..." Draco was struggling with the other arm of his coat and was trying to find it by blindly searching for it.

"Here, let me help you with that," said Harry as he walked into the flat and behind Draco. He held up the side of the coat and guided the arm to Draco's hand.

"Thank you," said Draco. "So, how does it feel to finally be standing in my house?" Harry looked around and realized that indeed he had crossed the threshold and was standing in the living room of Draco's flat.

"I like what you've done with the place. It's very nice looking."

"I could give you the grand tour if you like."

"Maybe later, our reservations at the restaurant are in fifteen minutes."

"All right," said Draco with a touch of disappointment. It wasn't lost on Harry. He knew that by now Draco was starting to wonder where this was all going. So Harry took Draco's hand in his and kissed the back of Draco's hand gently.

"Don't worry, I'll see your bedroom soon enough. Now come on, I know you're going to like what I have planned for us tonight." Draco cocked an eyebrow and let himself be led out into the hall way and down to Harry's car.

Dinner was at a very nice place that was owned by a wizard. They ordered gourmet cuisine and chatted about all the magical things that they couldn't talk about in the muggle world.

"How is the potions business going these days?" Harry asked sipping on his wine.

"Oh Merlin, it's been crazy lately. Hogwarts kids are going back to school and I swear, they are all tiny little children who don't know the right end of a wand to grab. I've caught at least five first year students trying to buy potions so that they can sneak them into potions class and cheat when they mess up. They get so angry with me when I tell them they can't buy the potions. I tell them that I'm perfectly happy to help them pick out the correct ingredients to buy, but I won't help them cheat. I've had some special order potions for people like Remus. They're the ones who really keep me in business. What have you been doing lately?"

"Not much. I opened a book store in the town. Anyone who is a witch or wizard knows who I am and they come to me to get their magical books. I keep them in a back room. But the front part of the store is all muggle books."

"Really? You're dealing with muggle books?"

"I've gained an affection for them. Dumbledore had candy, Mr. Weasley, had his little muggle electronics, I have muggle books. Some of the writers are really extraordinary."

"With a small town like that I doubt you would get much business."

"True, but there are some that like to come by and order books that they can't find. And the wizards and witches who come by more often than the muggles are the ones who really keep me in business. It's a living." The food arrived. They continued to discuss things while they ate and drank. After sharing a piece of cheesecake, Harry paid the bill and the two made their way to the art museum that Harry had picked out.

"So, what is it now? Egyptian? Modern?"

"It's modern, as in it's new."

"Ahh, so then we won't be staring at impressionist paintings of landscapes all night."

"No, not landscapes."

"People then?"

"Yes. It is people."

"Ah ha! This could be good. This could be very good." Harry put a ten pound note in a jar and the two walked in. "We don't need tickets?"

"No, they just ask that you donate five pounds per person. It's a free museum, but they need to get money from somewhere." They walked into a small art exhibit room that had white walls on which large black and white photographs had been hung. The floor was wood and their boots echoed. Ten pictures hung in the exhibit.

"So, what's this exhibit called?" said Draco as he unbuttoned his coat.

"The Vulnerability of Man."

Draco looked up and finally paid attention to the nearest picture. It was a shot of a man sitting naked on the floor with his knees curled up to his chest. His face was in his hands. He was crying. Draco found himself mesmerized. Not by the beauty of the man's body, but by the man's sadness. That a man would show that kind of feeling so openly made Draco almost shudder. There were more pictures. Always the man was naked. Each picture showed some different kind of emotion: happiness, laughter, sadness, depression, anger, fear, and the last picture was the most breath-taking of all. All the other pictures were of one man and always the same man. The last one had the same man and another man. The other man however, was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt but nothing on his feet. The clothed man had his back to the camera. He was touching the naked man's face with one hand. The look on the naked man's face was one of pure love. Harry was all ready sitting on a bench in front of the picture when Draco got to it. He sat down next to Harry and the two stared at the picture. Harry slipped his hand under Draco's and their fingers naturally interlaced.

"You wanted me to see this picture didn't you?" said Draco quietly. Harry nodded.

"That's what I hope you see when you look at me."

"Well, I haven't seen you in that little clothing in a while. But I do recognize the look on the face. He must really love him."

"And I love you."

"I know. I love you." They stood up from the bench still holding hands. They walked back to Harry's car and they drove back to Draco's flat. Draco pulled out his keys and as he always did, he put the key in the lock and turned around to Harry.

"Thank you, Harry, for the wonderful evening."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Would you like to come in for a drink?"

"Umm... yeah, I would." Draco turned back to the door and unlocked it. He walked in and Harry followed close behind.

"You can hang your coat up on the hook right there," Draco said pointing to the row of hooks by the door. He shut the door and shed his own coat and hung it up. Harry did the same while Draco picked out two brandy snifters and a bottle of brandy from his liquor cabinet. He watched as Harry slowly walked towards one of the big chairs near the fireplace. He set the brandy snifters and the bottle down on the table between the two chairs and poured them each a drink. Harry sat down and took the glass that Draco offered to him. Draco sat in the matching chair across from Harry.

"What shall we toast to?" Draco asked casually. Harry let a half-smile play across his lips and lifted his glass.

"To all that I've loved and all the I've hated; to all that I've had and all that I've lost; to all that I've wanted and all that I've gotten; to all that I've won at such a great cost." They clicked the glasses together and sipped on their brandy. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Draco spoke.

"Do you open your shop on Sundays?" he asked.

"No. You?"

"No. I was wondering if you would... stay tonight. And tomorrow we could spend the day together. If you'd like, I mean... feel free to-"

"I'd like that."

"Ok, great."

"Calm down, Draco. You don't have to be so nervous."

"Sorry, just... we... in..."

"I know. Believe me, I know." Harry put down his glass on the table and took Draco's glass away from him. Then he held out his hand to Draco and gently pulled Draco to his feet.

"About that grand tour?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, this is the living room slash dining room. And that's the little kitchenette." Harry nodded to the small area behind a little wall that he had seen when walking in. "And through that door is my bedroom. And in there is another door and the toilet."

"What color is your bedspread?"

"Green."

"Of course. Let me guess, grey pillowcases."

"And grey dust ruffles might I add. And matching green sheets." Harry kissed Draco tenderly on the lips.

"I'd like to see that." Draco gave Harry a devilish grin that made him want to tear the blond's clothes off and take him right then and there. But he let his husband guide him into the bed room. It was decorated in green and silver down to the lamp that was the only source of light in the room. Draco gently shut the door and leaned against it while Harry looked around the room.

"I have to say, it's definitely you." Harry sat down on the queen sized bed and looked out the window by the bed. "You have a nice view."

"Yeah, building after gloomy building." Draco pushed himself away from the door and slowly walked to the window. He reached out and slowly untied the curtain ties. The curtains gently swooshed shut. "Tonight is not for others' eyes."

"My thoughts exactly." Harry stood, hooked his index fingers in Draco's belt loops, and pulled Draco towards him. Draco let himself be pulled and put his arms around Harry while leaning his head down and catching Harry in a passionate kiss. Harry felt himself get swept away by the love and passion in the kiss. It had been too long, too entirely long, since he and Draco had done this. He easily slid his hands up Draco's back and let them rest on his shoulders. Draco pulled Harry tighter to himself and the kiss deepened even more, as if it could. Draco pulled away from Harry for a moment and stared into his lover's eyes.

"What?" Harry whispered thinking that if he spoke too loudly he would scare Draco away. Draco just smiled and carefully took Harry's glasses off his head. Harry chuckled at himself and looked down at his blurry shoes. He heard his glasses click on the night stand. Then he saw Draco's hand slip under his chin and lift his head to look into Draco's eyes that were so close that they were in focus. Their eyes closed simultaneously as Draco leaned in to kiss Harry again. His hands began to work the buttons on Harry's shirt as Harry's hands reached under Draco's turtle neck and caressed the warm flesh of Draco's back. Draco got exasperated with the buttons on Harry's shirt and ended up pulling off the last two. Harry broke the kiss with a slight chuckle and pulled the turtle neck off of Draco's torso. Draco pushed the shirt easily off of Harry's skinny shoulders and began kissing Harry's neck. He felt more than heard Harry's gasp and moan when Draco let his teeth sink into the tender flesh. Harry felt his knees going weak and held onto Draco a little tighter in order to stay standing.

"Here, sit down," said Draco. Harry sat down on the bed with a sigh of relief. Draco kneeled in front of Harry and took off Harry's shoes and socks. He kissed the tops of Harry's feet before sliding his hands up Harry's legs and undoing the pants. Harry lifted his hips as Draco pulled off the pants and boxers in one smooth motion. Started to run his hands up Harry's thighs but Harry quickly pulled the roaming hands away from his thighs and kissed each of them.

"Not yet," he whispered. "I want to see you. Stand up." Draco stood to his full height that seemed to tower over Harry. Harry reached forward and took Draco's left ankle in his hand. Draco raised his foot and put one hand on Harry's shoulder to steady himself. Harry took off Draco's shoe and sock and then did the same with the other foot. After replacing both feet on the floor, he undid Draco's pants and pulled down the pants and boxers. Draco, now naked and glowing from the light from the lamp leaned down and kissed Harry.

"Lie back," he whispered. Harry moved up the bed and laid back on the pillows. Draco turned off the bedside lamp and crawled over Harry in the darkness. They kissed each other passionately as their hands roamed and their bodies writhed. Harry ran his fingernails up Draco's back as his lover bit him on the neck once again. Draco worked his way down his lover's body alternately kissing, licking, and nibbling on his chest and stomach. Harry let his head fall back and he gasped violently as Draco's mouth closed around Harry's hot, burning erection.

"Merlin... Draco... I can't..." It had been so long since that talented mouth had been wrapped around him that he wasn't sure how long he could last. But Draco just grabbed Harry's hand tightly and stroked him with his lips and tongue. Harry gasped and moaned for about a minute longer before he arched his back and came inside his lover's mouth. Draco swallowed everything and gently let the softening member slip from his mouth. He slid up Harry's body and kissed him passionately once again.

"Harry?" he whispered.

"Fuck me, Draco," Harry whispered back. Draco didn't need anymore encouragement. He pulled the lube from the drawer in his bed side table and quickly lubed himself up. With two fingers, he gently prepared Harry for what was about to happen. Harry gripped his lover's shoulder and gasped as Draco brushed the pleasure spot inside him. He pulled his hand out even though Harry groaned with the loss. He held Harry's face and the two stared into each other's eyes as Draco slowly pushed into him. It had been so long since they had done this that it felt like the first time. They both gasped at how tight Harry had become. Draco took a deep breath, kissed Harry soundly, and with his mouth still covering Harry's he thrust in the rest of the way quickly. Harry's fingernails dug into his shoulder and Harry moaned loudly, but he wasn't fighting Draco by any means. When Draco broke the kiss he whispered,

"Sorry... I just... it's been so long..."

"I know," Harry whispered back. "It's all right... please... make love to me like we used to." Draco slowly started pulling out and thrusting back into Harry. His lover gasped and moaned beneath him. Draco quickened the pace soon and they were close to screaming when they finally came in each other's arms. Out of breath and completely spent, Draco collapsed in Harry's arms and sighed with contentment when he felt Harry's arms gently encircle him and hold him as he fell asleep.


	23. Chapter 23

Hello All! Thank you for the reviews in the last few months that let me know people are still interested in this. Long story short, dislocated knee cap, got back to Columbus, looking for job and not finding one, one gets depression and starts just hanging out everywhere and doing nothign else. So now, I've finally gotten an idea again. so here you go... the next part of this really long story. I will be working on the Brokeback Mountain story soon as well if any of you who read this also read that.

WARNING: Gay relationship, don't like it, don't read it. Some kisses and a little bit of gay sex in this chapter. Have fun! Also, ANGST warning to the NTH degree.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but if I did I would have a car by now!

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The next morning Draco felt the sun's rays through his eyelids. He scrunched them together tighter and tried to hide his eyes by turning his head and burying his head in the pillow. His arm reached out across the empty bed and found… no one. His eyes opened and once again, the bed was empty. He lifted his head and quickly glanced around the room. Had it been a dream? Was it all just a dream? His mind began to race. What had he said last night? Where was Harry? Why had he left? What was that damn sound coming from the kitchen? He curled his legs up to his chest and tried to think through the night and what could have happened. He didn't see a note taped to a marble this time. He didn't see anything. No note or sign to explain why he was gone or when he would be back or if he would be back. What was that sound in the kitchen? Then the door slowly opened and Harry walked in dressed in Draco's black robe carrying two coffee mugs. 

"Good morning sunshine," said Harry with his trademark bright smile. Draco felt like he was in a dream now. His mind must be playing tricks on him. "I made us some coffee…" Harry's voice trailed off as he looked at Draco's look of relief, panic, and bewilderment all in one. He gently put the coffee cups down on the bedside table. He knew what Draco must have been thinking and he wished he hadn't gotten up to make coffee or breakfast. Not if this was the reaction. He crawled back onto the bed and let Draco hungrily wrap his arms around his neck and pull him close.

"Don't… don't scare me like that again," Draco whispered in his ear. "Don't ever scare me like that again."

"I won't," Harry whispered gently kissing Draco's neck and shoulder and cheek. "I won't, I promise, I won't." He took Draco's face in his hands and kissed him delicately on the lips. Draco could taste coffee and sugar on Harry's lips and he knew that his brain couldn't trick him this much. "I won't. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to make you breakfast and I worried that the noise I was going to make in the kitchen would wake you. You looked so peaceful." He stroked Draco's cheek and kissed him on the lips again.

"Do you know how much you scared me?" said Draco trying to stay angry and get everything out that he needed to say. "I thought you had left me behind again. I hated you for that. You know that don't you?"

"I know. You have every right to hate me for that."

"I thought you had done it again."

"I don't blame you."

"Harry Malfoy-Potter you better grab me and hold me tight right now or get the hell out of here." Harry did as he was told and held Draco tighter to him than he ever had before. Draco cried. He cried because Harry left, because Harry didn't trust him, because Harry didn't come back for three years, because he was so alone and had no one to tell all of this to who would understand. Most of all he cried because he thought he had lost Harry again. He managed to choke out all the words between sobs. All the accusatory words that he had wanted to say and all the things he knew should be said but then never taken back. But Harry still held him tight. He didn't leave, he didn't shout, he didn't even speak really; he just held Draco tight and placed the odd comforting kiss on his shoulder or neck or ran a hand up and down his spine that he knew often calmed Draco down when nothing else did. He sat and took it all. He didn't even try to defend his actions of the past. He just sat there and took it.

After a long while Draco had cried all the tears out of his system, had a horrible headache, eyelids that were nearly swollen shut, and was exhausted once again. Harry gently laid him down on the bed like putting a sick child to bed and pulled the sheet and comforter up over his husband's body. Draco's body still shook from time to time with shivers and shakes from the crying. But soon he was asleep again. Harry tucked a stay strand of hair behind Draco's ear. He slowly stood and walked back across the living room and into the small kitchen. This time he left the door open between the bedroom and the living room open. He'd managed to cast a few spells to turn off the burners and keep breakfast from burning while he was comforting Draco. The coffee was cold, the oatmeal was cold, and the eggs… well he didn't like the look of the eggs so he threw them out too. He leaned against the counter and felt his heart pounding hard in his chest. He knew that he had caused Draco pain. He knew that he had done something terrible to the man… the only man he would ever love. His husband was in dire and terrible pain because of him. He knew that just coming back would not cure everything. He knew that Draco still had wounds that needed to heal if this was going to work. Over the past three months he had only gotten the odd glance at those wounds. He had never known until this morning the degree to which he had hurt Draco. Today he saw the wounds laid open and festering in the blaring light of day. His heart beat faster and his breath began to come in gasps. He gripped his stomach and felt like he was going to be sick. He pushed himself off of the counter and his lower back hit the opposite counter and his head hit the cabinet above it. He grabbed his head and his back simultaneously and silently cursed to himself. Then he cried. He only cried for a few minutes in horror at what he had done and then shook his head and turned back to the breakfast. He had to work fast and remake everything.

An hour later, Draco felt someone's hand on his shoulder.

"Draco? I've got breakfast if you want some," said Harry's soft voice.

"What time is it?" Draco asked drowsily.

"Nine-thirty on a Sunday morning." Draco rubbed his eyes and slowly blinked them open as far as they would go.

"Ug, I hate crying. Always leaves my eyes hurting and my head hurting."

"Well, sometimes it's best to get it out." Harry was standing next to the bed and holding out a coffee cup once again. Draco took the one he held out this time and took a sip.

"Oh that feels good," he said with a pleased sigh. Harry smiled and sat down on the side of the bed. He set down a tray that held a bowl of oatmeal and a plate of scrambled eggs across Draco's legs.

"Where's yours?" said Draco looking down at the two dishes.

"I all ready ate," said Harry. He was lying. And Draco could see that.

"Reaaally?" said Draco with an eyebrow raised.

"All right, no, I haven't eaten."

"There's plenty here for two. Have some." Harry tentatively ate some of the eggs while Draco slurped down the oatmeal. Harry had been hesitant about eating since the earlier dry heaves. He wasn't sure if his stomach would accept the food given or reject it. Thus far it seemed that everything would be well in that department at least. Breakfast was a silent affair and once all the food was gone Harry silently took the tray and the dishes back to the kitchen. Draco still sat in the bed with his legs drawn up to his chest and his comforter over his legs. He'd changed the tone of the morning and he knew it. Sex wasn't going to cure this. Only honesty could. Harry walked back into the room and Draco said,

"Harry, shut the door back." Harry quietly shut the door and stood there completely still waiting to be told the next thing to do. He was expecting to be told to get out or come fuck me or anything like that to avoid this conversation they would have to have. Instead he got, "Come sit down." Harry sat down on the side of the bed where he had been before and turned slightly to face Draco. Draco took his hand in his and said, "I guess I should start. Harry, what I said to you this morning-"

"Don't say you were just angry and-"

"Would you let me finish?" Harry stopped and nodded silently. "Thank you. What I said to you this morning I've wanted to say to you for three years now. I'm not going to apologize for it now. I don't want to. It was stuff that I needed to say. Stuff I've been dying to say. You hurt me like no one else on this earth ever has before. And I wanted you to understand that. I thought maybe I could put it all away once you got back and we fell into bed and just buried everything we needed to say under mountains of sex. But you didn't let me. And now we're here and I've said everything and didn't let you say a word." Harry bit his lip and wasn't sure how to start this half of the conversation. He could take being the source of all pain and the monster and the enemy in this but he wasn't sure how in the world to describe what it was like to be that person.

"Harry?" said Draco slightly squeezing his hand. "I called you a monster, a demon, and the worst thing that has ever happened to me this morning. I'm pretty certain you can say anything to me at this point and I'll listen." Harry rubbed his chin for a moment and said the first thing that came to his mind.

"You're right. I am a monster, a demon, and the worst thing that has ever happened to you." Draco looked at him with a look of sympathy and put a hand to Harry's cheek. For a second Harry thought the conversation could end and they would have sex and forget it all as he leaned forward. But just as they were about to kiss Draco said,

"What a cop out." Harry in shock pulled back quickly and stared at his husband with a look of surprise and irritation.

"What do you want Draco?" he said exasperated.

"I want the truth Harry. I told you the truth this morning whether it hurt you or not. I expect the same from you."

"What do you want to hear? You want to hear that I hate myself?"

"If that's the truth then yes! I want to hear it! I want you to tell me what's going on in your head!"

"Fine! Fine! I hate myself for what I did you! Are you happy now?"

"Not yet."

"All right! I hate myself for hurting you! I hate myself for making you feel so horrible! I hate myself for leaving you! I hate myself for all the times that I told myself it was all because I love you and all because I wanted to keep you safe but that wasn't it in the end was it?" Draco waited as Harry looked at him with an angry expression that bored into his soul. "Was it?" Draco was a little surprised and then said,

"I... guess not."

"You're damn right it wasn't. It wasn't that I loved you. It wasn't that I wanted you to be safe. It was fear. That's all it was. Pure, unadulterated fear. I was afraid that I was going to loose you. And I know that I love you so much that if I lost you then my world would be over. I'm not joking Draco. I'm not saying that as some sweet nothing to whisper in your ear. I know that if you died... that would be the end of me. Not my parents dying, not Voldemort, not Ron dying, not Sirius dying, not watching Dumbledore die, not watching Cedric die... none of that would compare to what would happen to me if I lost you. A couple nights before that final meeting I realized that. I had a nightmare. You remember?" Draco nodded. He remembered very clearly that night. Harry was thrashing and screaming so loudly that Draco had been afraid he would wake the whole house. When Draco had finally gotten him awake Harry had grabbed him and held on tight. Draco had tried to ask but he never could get an answer from Harry and since it seemed to upset his husband so much he didn't press the issue. "I had a nightmare that you were killed just as we walked into the Ministry of Magic building. In the dream, I just fell to my knees next to you and wept. No one could get me to stand and fight. No one could get a reaction out of me. Nothing. The battle failed. I just sat there crying. They tried to take me and your body away but I grabbed hold to your body and I couldn't let go. Then... they tore your body from me. And then I disintegrated. Just faded into thin air. I couldn't exist without you. And so I decided to leave you here. Because of my fear, I pushed you as far away from me as I possibly could. I feared loosing you. And I did loose you. That's the sick irony in all of this isn't it? I wanted to protect you because I knew I couldn't live without you so I shoved you as far away from me as I could. And I didn't know until this morning just how badly I hurt you by doing that." Tears were running down his cheeks and to his chin. But he kept talking. "And now I hate myself for leaving you behind. I hate myself for being afraid. I hate myself for hurting you. I hate myself for coming back. I hate myself for causing you more pain by being back here. And I **hate **that I am the great Harry Potter, savior of the wizarding world, and I suck at love and life." He stared at the floor for a minute and took in a shaky breath. "Maybe this was a bad idea after all. I won't trouble you any longer."

"Don't you dare!" said Draco with true anger in his voice and gripped Harry's hand so tight that it hurt. "Don't you dare leave me. I lived three years without you. I nearly died. And I will be damned if I let you walk away from me again without a fight. And I'm talking an all on insulting, punching, kicking, biting, hair pulling, nail scratching fight. And since we don't seem to be doing that right now you are not walking out on me again. I can't do it again. Do you understand me? You can't live without me? News flash, I can't live without you either. Yes, I have wounds. But since you got back they have finally been healing. Yes, when you first got back, it hurt. I thought you didn't love me anymore. I was convinced otherwise within the first day of you being back in my life. And you being the savior but sucking at life and love? Another news flash, everyone has problems with life and love. Snape and I are renowned for our potion-making skills. But take a look at our love lives. He loved a werewolf!" Even with the seriousness of the conversation, Harry couldn't help but burst out laughing. He finally brushed away some of the tears as he continued to laugh. "You want problems? Those are problems. He fell for one hairy guy! And for a while they separated. In the end, they got back together. And Snape went away and died and Remus lived because he told me to hide him. He wanted Remus taken care of no matter what. I... fell for you: the savior of the wizarding world who is more emotionally fucked up than the depression wing at St. Mungo's. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I married you didn't I?" Harry let out a slight chuckle and nodded.

"That you did."

"I married you for better or for worse. So this is one of the worser times. So what? It doesn't change the way I feel about you."

"The way I feel about you has never changed. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I have always loved you." Draco turned Harry's face to look at him finally and they stared deep into each other's eyes. Harry finally leaned in and placed a tender kiss on Draco's lips. Draco returned the kiss and sighed internally. The mood hadn't darkened but he wasn't sure if it had lightened either. Harry's hand climbed up Draco's arm and settled on his neck. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against Draco's. Draco started to pull the belt on the robe Harry was wearing but Harry said quietly,

"No..." Draco looked at him with a look of slight confusion. "Just... lie down." Draco was still confused, but he did it anyway. Harry took the robe off of himself and then climbed into bed next to Draco and cuddled up with him. They exchanged light kisses and held each other close, but there was no sexual need in this. It was just the need for intimacy. The need to be close together. They napped lightly for a couple of hours but stayed tightly in each other's arms.

* * *

Harry was finally awakened from his nap by a rumbling from a stomach. 

"Was that you or me?" said Harry sleepily.

"I think it was me," said Draco with a chuckle. "I'm hungry." They heard another much louder rumble this time. "Was that-?"

"That one was me." They both laughed this time.

"All right. Want to go out or order in or make something?"

"I vote we order in. I'm too tired to go out and get something."

"All right. What do you want then?"

"Well, let's see. Are you on the menu?" Draco smirked as Harry gently moved his hands up his chest and had to bite back a moan as Harry kissed the skin where his neck became his shoulder.

"Not as such... they have yet to make a Draco bisque that rivals the real thing."

"In that case... I'm dying for a good chicken curry."

"I could use one myself. And I happen to know a good place around the corner that delivers."

"Really? You are incredible sometimes, do you know that?"

"I do as a matter of fact. Why sometimes I even amaze myself."

"Arrogant bastard," Harry muttered lightly.

"Optimistic Gryffindor," Draco said sticking his tongue out and dialing the number on the phone.

"You really consider that an insult?"

"Don't you?" Draco sat up and said into the phone, "Yeah, hey it's Draco Malfoy. I'd like two chicken curries with rice please. Ack!" Harry had pinched Draco's bum which was now exposed to the air and his fingers. "Yeah, I'm fine. The usual address. Twenty minutes will be fine. Oh... damn... no, I'm fine I'm still here. Yeah, I'll have the money for you. Bye." He quickly hung up the phone and then swatted Harry on the ass. "Don't nibble on my nipple while I'm ordering chicken curry."

"You didn't object. As I recall, your reaction was something like this." Harry licked Draco's nipple again and nibbled on it lightly. Draco let his head fall back and a sigh escape from his lips.

"Damn... Harry..."

"That's about what it was." Harry had a mischievous smirk on his face again that always made Draco wonder what the man was thinking.

"We've only got twenty minutes before the food gets here. We shouldn't-"

"Why not? It's not like I haven't been able to coax an orgasm from you in twenty minutes before." Draco started to object but then Harry licked and nibbled on the other nipple and all coherent thought seemed to fly from his brain. After three years of no sex and no Harry, well, he needed this. As Harry trailed kisses down his stomach Draco laid down on the bed with a content sigh. He gasped as Harry's lips wrapped around his hard member and started to suck. He moaned and writhed while Harry tortured him. Looking at the clock, ten minutes had all ready past. 'Time really does fly when you're having fun,' he thought to himself. Harry must have realized the time too because he sped up the pace and within minutes Draco was clenching the sheets and screaming his name. Soon after they heard a quick knock on the door. Draco quickly threw a robe on, grabbed some money from his wallet, and walked to the door on slightly shaky knees. He knew that his face was flushed and he most likely had bed head, but he didn't really care as he closed the door enough that the delivery guy wouldn't be able to see his naked lover lying on the bed.

"Hey," Draco said to the familiar delivery guy.

"Did I wake you?" he asked casually and eyeing his appearance.

"No! No, I was awake. Here you go." The man saw the tip and smiled.

"Thanks very much!"

"You're welcome," Draco replied with a smile, took the food, and then shut the door. He walked back into the bedroom and shut the door back. "I think the rest of the world is catching on."

"I don't care," said Harry casually as he took the food from Draco's hands.

"Neither do I." They sat down and ate their food, laughed, talked, and made plans for the afternoon.

* * *

all right, me the author again, so I'm making it into something of a two-parter. This whole little day anyway. I got to here and I saw how long it was and just decided to cut it in half. Let me know what you guys think and I'll be writing soon! 


	24. Chapter 24

**Ok, I know, it's been an age since I added to this story. And I still don't know where all it's going. Anyway, here's the afternoon after the interesting morning. No sex, just kisses and cuddles. Don't like, don't read.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter but I wish that I did.**

* * *

Draco pulled a dark green sweater over his head and pulled it down his lean form. He heard a slight chuckle from behind.

"You shouldn't wear stuff like that if you want to keep it on forever," said Harry as he enfolded Draco in his arms from behind. Draco sighed and closed his eyes. After three years without Harry, he was finally remembering all the ways Harry used to touch him that made him shiver and relax and made every kind of erotic thought in the world go through his head.

"I could say the same thing about what you're wearing," Draco replied. Harry had put on tight jeans, a tight white button up shirt and black leather shoes, all of which he had borrowed from Draco's closet. "I think you look better in my clothes than I do."

"I don't know about that, you look pretty good yourself." Draco had put on black pants, black leather shoes, and the green v-neck sweater hung down loosely over a white undershirt. Harry kissed Draco gently on the neck and then pulled away.

"I didn't say leave," said Draco turning to watch Harry walk towards the door.

"You didn't say stay." Draco smirked and tried to glare. "C'mon Draco, we need to prove to the world that we do indeed exist."

"Do we have to?" Draco said in his best whiny voice.

"I want you to see something. It's just the Muggle world right now. I still don't venture into the magical world that much."

"That's fine. Not much more to see in the magical world that we haven't all ready seen anyway." Harry nodded slightly and the both of them put their coats on. They both went out to Harry's '67 Mustang convertible.

"What is this you want me to see anyway?" said Draco.

"You'll see. I was saving it for next week, but well, I'm here and I think you should see this in daylight."

"Oh really? I'm getting more and more intrigued."

"Stop trying to make me tell you what it is."

"Can't blame me for trying." Harry pulled up to a stop light and ran his fingers through Draco's hair for a moment. Draco leaned his cheek into Harry's palm and felt at home.

"Just be patient little one," he said quietly. "You'll see it soon." He kissed Draco on the forehead and returned to driving. Draco stared out the window but kept a hand near Harry now so that Harry's hand would touch his while they were at red lights. Finally they stopped near a closed up book shop. Draco looked out the window at the shop.

"I wonder how long that's been closed up," Draco said quietly. The building looked old and beaten up. The windows were boarded up except one that had one board removed.

"Over ten years," said Harry quietly. He got out of the car and so did Draco. Harry walked towards the building and Draco looked through the window with the one board missing. Inside was very dusty and dark. Empty bookcases lined the walls. Harry was fidling with his keys and to Draco's surprise he stuck one in the lock of the front door of the shop.

"Want to see inside?" Harry asked with a touch of nervousness in his voice. Draco wasn't sure what was going on, but he decided to play along.

"Sure," he replied. Harry opened the door with a bit of a shove and the two of them walked in. Harry flipped on a light switch and a dusty and cobweb infested chandelier flickered on. With the lights on it looked a little better. All that the shelves really needed was a good dusting and the floor desperately needed to be swept. A few orphan volumes lay on the floor and on a couple of shelves. There was a ladder that ran on a rail at the top of the book cases so people could easily reach the books on the upper shelves. The ceiling was at least twelve feet up and the bookcases were only about six inches shorter.

"What do you think of it?" Harry asked.

"Well, it needs a good cleaning and many books to put on the shelves. New lightbulbs, some new wiring most likely, and a good coat of varnish and I think it will look much better and be ready to open."

"What if I told you... that I bought this place." Draco turned to Harry with wide eyes.

"You... you own this place now?"

"I saw it one day when I was waiting to pick you up for a date. I found out that it was for sale and for a reasonable price. There's an apartment upstairs where I can live. I can move my book shop here."

"How long have you been planning this?" Harry hesitated since he couldn't quite read Draco's expression. It was somewhere between confused and surprised and something else that he couldn't read.

"A month now. I bought it a week ago." Draco put his face in his hands and shut his eyes tight. Harry felt his heart sink. He had gotten ahead of himself and was rushing Draco into this. "I can sell it back easy Draco. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Stop back pedaling Harry I'm not upset!" Draco quickly walked to Harry and kissed him hard. He pulled away but still held Harry's face in his hands. "I'm not upset, I'm just surprised. I didn't think you would do anything like this so soon." Harry reached out and stroked Draco's cheek and felt Draco turn into the touch once again.

"I wanted to be close but also give you space. I figured if I bought this place I would have a job and a place to live. Besides, the commute between here and Ireland gets tiring." Draco let out a chuckle and the two of them touched their foreheads together. "I want to live here if you'll let me. I want to be close to you again."

"You're close to me right now."

"Stop being a smart ass."

"Old habits die hard." Draco gently kissed Harry on the lips and then the two tightly embraced.

"You know what I mean," Harry whispered.

"Of course I know," Draco replied just as quietly. "I think it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. When are you moving in?"

"Tomorrow. I've been packing up things for weeks now. I have a friend who wants to buy my old house. I've packed up the book shop too and I just have to move all of that into here this week."

"Sounds like you have a tiring week planned."

"Yeah, but knowing that I'm moving here to be close to you is an incentive to say the least."

"I'll help you any way I can."

"I know. I don't want to take you away from your work."

"I've been training a couple of competent assistants. They can manage the shop for parts of the day." Draco kissed Harry again. "Now that I've seen the shop and I want to see what the apartment above looks like." Harry smiled and kissed Draco on the forehead.

"Come with me." He took Draco by the hand and led him up the stairs. The apartment was huge. It was two floors. The first floor was a large living room with a fireplace and a kitchen that was open to the living room. Draco could see Harry putting a dining table near the kitchen and big couchs and chairs near the fire place. Draco went up the other stairs and found two bedrooms, each with a bathroom of their own. He knew that Harry had all ready been making plans about all the places to put things. Draco could almost see it falling into place all around him. He went into the bigger bedroom and saw the huge picture window. The afternoon light was streaming in and lit up the entire room.

"Do you like it?" Harry asked from the doorway. Draco turned around and smiled.

"I love it Harry. It's humongous."

"I know. I've been thinking about turning the other bedroom into an office or private library. I've got so many books anyway." Draco walked up to him and the two stood close to each other. They loosely put their arms around each other and shared the quiet.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Draco said quietly.

"Of course I will," Harry replied. "I'd stay with you forever if you asked me to."

"Stay."

"I will."

"No, I mean... stay forever."

"I knew what you meant. I will." Draco gently kissed Harry on the lips and they stayed there for a moment.

"What do you want for dinner?" Draco asked quietly.

"I want to take you out to a fancy restaurant," Harry said with a smile.

"I like the sound of that," Draco said returning the smile. Harry took Draco by the hand again and lead him down the two flights of stairs and out of the shop. Out on the street again, Harry locked the door behind them and they got into the car. Night had fallen fast and the street lights were clicking on. They both got into the car and Harry drove them to a fancy Italian restaurant. Over dinner they talked and talked about all that they could do with the shop and how Harry wanted to decorate his new apartment.

"I'm thinking of having a house warming party," Harry said suddenly.

"Really?"

"I haven't seen alot of people in years. I want to catch up with a few."

"Just a select gathering of friends then?"

"That's the plan."

"How do you think Ron and the others will react to me being there?"

"Several have gotten used to it. Ron... he'll have to deal with it. If he's rude to you, he's out the door."

"Harry..."

"Don't. I don't want anyone being rude to my husband in my house." Harry took another bite of his stuffed chicken and then saw Draco looking at him oddly. "What?"

"You haven't called me your husband in a long time. It's just... I don't know. Comforting." Harry reached across the table and took Draco's left hand in his where he was still wearing his ring.

"You never took it off did you?"

"No." Harry gently kissed Draco's hand. He wished he could erase all the time that had been wasted and go back in time and make the right decision. He wished he could take away all the pain he had caused Draco while he had been away. He wished to be strong enough to be with Draco now until they died and take on all the good and bad times. Draco squeezed Harry's hand tightly and whispered,

"Harry...? Come back to me." Harry blinked and smiled.

"Sorry," he said squeezing Draco's hand as well. "I was just thinking."

"I could tell. It looked serious."

"Just... wishes. That's all."

"I hope they come true."

"Me too." They finished dinner quickly and went back to Draco's place. Without speaking, Harry led Draco into the bed room and shut the door back. They stripped down to nothing and curled around each other in bed. Tonight they just needed to be close to each other. Harry spooned up behind Draco and wrapped an arm around him. Draco laced his fingers through Harry's and their wedding rings glowed as they touched.

"I love you," Harry whispered before he fell asleep.

"I love you," Draco replied.


	25. Chapter 25

**I know, this story keeps getting put to the side. But I've been writing alot lately and hopefully I can put more energy into this soon.**

**WARNING: Gay relationship between Harry/Draco. It's more implied this time. Kisses and cuddles as usual.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter. That's it.**

**Don't shoot me by the end of this! I'm working on the next chapter.**

* * *

The next day Harry spent alot of time making sure he had every box and thing in his house in Ireland. Most of it he had shrunk down so that it all fit into one bag that he had enchanted so that it was bigger on the inside than on the outside. He put everything together into a rucksack and walked out the door for the last time. He went to his book shop next. Everything there had also been packed away in boxes. He thought for a moment about all the unpacking he would have had to do if Draco had told him to stay in Ireland. But then he smiled to himself as he thought of living close to Draco again. He shrunk down the boxes of books and put them away in another ruck sack. Once that was done he put both of them on his shoulders, closed his eyes, and apparated away to his new shop in London.

He arrived in the living room of his apartment above the shop. He put down both sacks and looked around in shock. Where the place had been dusty and dingy, the wooden floors now almost shone in the light from the open windows. Everything smelled of soap and wood polish. The cobwebs had been swept from the corners and dust was off every surface. Both sides of the windows had been scrubbed to within an inch of their lives. And he heard footsteps upstairs of someone moving around very quickly and the murmur of spells drifting down. He walked upstairs and saw Draco, sweaty and a bit dirty, quickly scurrying about waving his wand and brushes and brooms that he had enchanting sweeping and scrubbing the floors, the walls, and the windows.

"You're here!" Draco said turning around and seeing Harry still standing in the doorway from the stairs. Draco quickly kissed Harry on the cheek and continued scurrying about and saying, "Just give me a minute, I got a late start cleaning up in here. And you probably don't want to get too close to me, I'm dirty and smelly."

"But... what about your shop?"

"I told you that I've trained a few competent assistants. They're running the shop right now and they're going to send an owl if anything goes terribly wrong which knowing those two, I doubt that will happen." Harry caught Draco's wrist in his hand and tried to pull Draco towards him. Draco resisted slightly. "I told you. I'm dusty, dirty, and stinky. You don't want to get too close to me right now."

"So am I and I don't care," Harry replied. He pulled Draco towards him fast and caught him in his arms with a long passionate kiss. "Thank you," Harry said with a sigh as he pulled away.

"You know I'd do anything for you." Draco tucked a piece of Harry's hair behind his ear and kissed him on the cheek. "I haven't touched the shop yet, I figured you would want to be here for that part."

"Yes, we should cover the windows so no one sees us doing all the magic we are going to need to do."

"You go downstairs and do that, I'll finish up here." Harry nodded and kissed Draco on the cheek. He went back down the stairs and picked up the rucksack with all the boxes for the shop. He left the rucksack with all his things for the apartment in the living room. He would deal with those later. He went down the stairs and into the shop. It was early morning and the streets were practically empty. He got the butcher paper and the masking tape from the corner where he had put it. He got on a ladder and covered the windows with the paper. Once he was done with that he turned to the rest of the room. First he cast dusting spells on the shelves, then a mopping spell for the floor. He heard Draco coming down the stairs and called out,

"Be careful! The floor is being mopped!" Draco stopped on the bottom step and leaned against the wall of the stairwell. Harry was standing on one of the shorter book cases.

"You all ready have plans for where everything is supposed to go don't you?" Draco said looking up at him.

"Yeah, I figured the shorter shelves here could be for the children's books. Kids like them better. All these other shelves are for everything else." He turned around and looked at the other shelves. "Uh... fiction, mystery, romance-"

"Romance?"

"Don't knock 'em, they pay the bills."

"But some of them are just..."

"Trash, I know. But I know some great literature buffs who come in a pick up three or four trashy romance novels to read over the summer so they can read something that doesn't require them to think. These over here should all be non-fiction. That back room will be office and storage space. That back room should be where I keep the magical books."

"You intend on selling magical books still?"

"I've always kept a small selection. I'll order stuff for people who need it. In Ireland there wasn't a place like Diagon Ally. There were just little shops here and there that people told each other about."

"Not so in London."

"True. But who knows? I'll put the ones I've got in there. If they never get sold I'll just send them back." The mopping spell was soon done and the floors were sparkling. Draco saw Harry about to take the jump and yelled out,

"Harry the floor!" But Harry didn't pay attention and once his feet hit the wet floor they slipped out from under him and he fell backwards onto the small book case and hit his head hard on the wood before he fell to the floor. Draco slipped and slid but made his way quickly to Harry who was lying on the floor and rubbing the back of his head. Draco slid to the floor next to Harry and held his head.

"Are you ok?" he said in a worried tone. "I tried to tell you."

"I know, I know," said Harry rubbing his head and looking sheepish. "I just got impatient."

"You could have killed yourself you know!"

"Hey, it's ok. I'm ok."

"You could have injured yourself and gotten amnesia!"

"I'm fine Draco! Look at me!" Draco looked into Harry's eyes finally. "I just got a bump on the head. I'll be all right." Harry slowly stood and offered Draco a hand. Draco took it and the both of them sat on the smaller book case that Harry had been standing on. It was tall enough that their feet were dangling a few inches above the floor.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Draco said rubbing Harry's head gently but Harry still winced.

"I promise. I'm fine. If you're so worried then cast a spell and find out." Draco took out his wand and cast a spell to show him Harry's physical condition. Harry was right. It was just a bruise on the back of his head. "Satisfied?" Harry said turning to him and pushing Draco's wand away.

"I was just worried..." Draco stroked Harry's cheek and despite being irritated Harry naturally leaned into the touch.

"You don't have to," Harry said trying to reassuring. "I'm fine." Draco nodded. Harry looked up at the ceiling at the chandelier. "I think the chandelier is the next order of business."

"You may want to give up and call an electrician for that," Draco said looking up at it. "I can't help, I know nothing about electrics."

"I know two things: One, I shouldn't do it, and two, it could kill me if I tried. I can use some candles right now. I want to get all my boxes of books at least out of the bag tonight." Harry pulled the rucksack holding all the books towards him and opened it. He sighed heavily. "My entire inventory is in there."

"Well, no time like the present to start working on it," said Draco. Harry and Draco got down from the book case onto the now dry floor, opened the bag, and started unloading it. They worked out a system of taking out a box, returning it to its normal size, and then taking it to the shelves where the books would be once they unpacked the boxes. In then end there were several piles in different points around the shop. When Harry looked in and saw no more boxes, he returned the inside to the right size and said,

"Draco? Good news."

"What's that?" said Draco putting down the last box on top of a pile all marked "MAGIC" that was near the door to one of the back rooms.

"That's the last box." Draco let out a heavy sigh and said,

"Oh thank Merlin." He looked around and saw only book cases and boxes. "You need a couch... or a chair... something to flop into because that's really what I want to do right now." Harry hopped up on the small book case again, laid down flat on his back, crossed his ankles, and put his hands behind his head. "Or, there's that idea." Draco walked to the small book case and did the same thing so that the tops of their heads were about an inch apart.

"I do need to get a couple of couches and chairs for people to sit in while they are here. Maybe a couple of tables."

"Later."

"Yes, definitely later. After I get all the books on the shelves, get the light fixed, get a desk and cash register in here, get the phone connected, have that house warming party... and probably other things that will come up... then get a couple of couches and chairs for this place."

"You forgot two things."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Well, first, I've discovered that you're going to have to re-varnish all of these shelves."

"How did you discover that?"

"A huge hunk of varnish just came off on my hand." Harry reached down and discovered that the varnish was indeed coming off quickly.

"All right, the second thing?"

"Have hot mad sex with me on your bed once we get it in place upstairs." Harry grinned widely.

"Ah, I thought that was a given."

"Well, I like to hear you say it."

"All right, the last thing to do today is have hot mad sex with you on my bed once we unpack it and put it in my bedroom upstairs."

"Yay!"

"But right now I think we need some lunch."

"I disagree."

"Really?"

"Yes. I think first we need a shower, new clothes, THEN get some lunch. I don't know about you but I'm not walking out of this place in my current state."

"Only if you shower with me."

"Of course darling, I wouldn't dream of letting your hot naked body be showered in water and soap without me there." Harry sat up and jumped down from the book case and Draco quickly did the same thing. Harry took the steps up to his place two at a time with Draco close behind. Once up the stairs it became a race to see who could get naked and into the shower the fastest. Harry won by a sock and was the first in the shower. Draco collided with him and pushed him into the wall. They kissed each other hungrily as the hot water beat down on them. By the end of the shower there was absolutely no dirt or dust on either of them. Harry pulled some clothes from one of his bags and pulled on a fresh pair of jeans, a white t-shirt, and a big green heavy sweater. Draco walked into the room wearing nothing but a towel as he pulled his still soaking wet hair up into a pony tail.

"Awww, you're dressed," said Draco with a pout. Harry smiled at him as he laced up his shoes.

"Well, they don't really approve of people walking out into public completely naked yet. And there were words about having lunch after the shower, so I should go get some."

"I'll get dressed," Draco said as he reached for the bag but Harry reached out and stopped him.

"Nooooo, no no no no, your job is to stay in that towel and wait for me to get back and feed you." Draco raised an eyebrow and grinned shamelessly.

"Well then, I think I can live with this arrangement." Harry kissed him quickly and picked up his keys.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Harry said as he went down the stairs. "I love you!"

"I love you!" Draco called down the stairs with a smile. Harry walked out the front door and locked it behind him. When he turned around, he stopped dead in his tracks. There was a black car parked in front of his store and a man in black smoking a cigarette leaning against it.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked with nervousness and malice in his voice.


	26. Chapter 26

**All right, I managed to crank this one out with some help from my writing friend Harrys girl who posts on Thanks so much for letting me bounce ideas off of you! Anyway, please don't kill me people. I'm working on this idea. It's going to get pretty weird and scary in places.**

**WARNING: Gay relationship, you know the rest.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter. And that's all.**

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It was Viktor Krum. Last Harry had heard of him, Viktor was working for people who had been kicked out of their positions in the Ministry of Magic. Their last meeting had been in the Ministry when Harry had stormed the place. That time they had fought. This time, Krum was simply leaning against a car, smoking a cigarette.

"So very rude, Mr. Potter," Krum said in his thick Bulgarian accent. "Couldn't I just have come to look up an old acquaintance?"

"Not very likely Mr. Krum," Harry replied calmly. "Not with the way my life is these days." Krum nodded slightly and said,

"All right, my boss wants to see you." He opened the back door of the car for Harry. Harry looked in but saw no one. "I'm supposed to take you to see her, whether you like it or not." Harry looked up at the bedroom window and saw Draco looking down at them with an expression of concern on his face. "You can't bring him with us," said Krum anticipating the question.

"Can I at least tell him something?" Harry said with an exasperated sigh.

"No," said Krum. Harry looked Krum in the eye.

"I'm not leaving unless I can tell him something."

"And I'll break your arm if you try to tell him something. No one is to know where you are going."

"I'm not going to tell him where I'm going, I don't even know where I'm going idiot! Just let me speak to him for a second!"

"No." Krum now took Harry roughly by the arm. Harry looked up and saw the shock and worry on Draco's face now. Harry laid his hand on his chest and then held it up to the building. Draco could see the magic Harry was casting on the building. Strong protection spells and Harry's voice in his mind said,

"Don't worry, I'll be back before you can say apple tart."

"Apple tart," Draco whispered. He saw the faint smile on Harry's face as he got into the car. The car sped away down the road. Draco turned back to the empty apartment and tried to find something that would occupy his mind until Harry did get back.

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Harry sat in the back of the car and saw that the windows were blacked out. Krum got into the front seat and turned the car on.

"Isn't it a little dangerous to drive when you can't see the road?" Harry said in a joking tone. Krum didn't laugh. Krum didn't even turn. That was when Harry realized that the car had no steering wheel and no pedals. But the car roared to life all on its own and they zoomed forward. Harry could feel the tight corners and quick swerves even though he couldn't see them. He hoped that the magic driving this thing was good. He didn't want to die from something as stupid as a car wreck after all that he had lived through. After five minutes of swerving they came to a sudden stop. Krum got out of the car first and slammed the door shut. Harry waited patiently as Krum walked around the car and opened the door for Harry. Harry stepped out and look up at an expensive looking hotel about twelve stories high.

"Who is your boss anyway?" said Harry looking up at the building.

"You'll know soon enough," said Krum pushing him towards the front door.

"Geez, could you get anymore body guard cliche," Harry muttered looking back at Krum. Harry walked through the door and saw a lavish hotel lobby complete with chandeliers, pink plush couches, pink plush chairs, thick pink carpet, and pink wall paper. Harry wasn't sure which was more shocking, the fact that all the pinks matched or that Krum's boss thought she could keep her identity from him with all the pink. Not to mention the huge picture of a white kitten above the fireplace.

"Where are you Umbridge?" he shouted. "What sick game are you trying to play now?" He heard the tinkling of a bell and looked down to see a small white kitten standing in front of him with a bell on her neck. In the air was pink glittery writing that said

"Follow me, please." Harry let out an exasperated sigh and gestured to the cat to go ahead of him. The kitten padded forward to a hallway and Harry dutifully followed behind it. It made a turn down the hallway and headed for the door at the very end of the hall. They reached the door and the kitten tapped its paw against the door.

"Come in!" said a sharp and shrill voice that still made Harry's skin crawl when he heard it. The door opened and he and the kitten walked into a room that had far too much pink in it. The carpet, the walls, the couch, the chairs, even the desk was pink. Harry blinked several times trying to get used to the sight of it all. Once he had he saw Umbridge sitting there in the middle of it, a pink bow still fixed in her fizzy hair and she was writing quickly with the quill she had once used to torture Harry with. His hand stung slightly just at the sight of it.

"Ah Mr. Potter!" said Umbridge in her sickly sweet tone. "How nice to see you again! Won't you sit down?"

"I'd rather stand Ms. Umbridge," he said in a cold tone.

"As you wish, although really, it is rather rude to refuse a seat."

"I don't really care what you think of me Ms. Umbridge," he replied in the same even tone. "Not after all that you did to me and hundreds of others in the wizarding world. I saw what you did."

"I really don't know what you mean," she replied in the same sweet tone.

"I broke into the Ministry of Magic and I saw what you did to people," he replied cruelly. "I saw what you did to werewolves and centaurs and other people who objected to your government. You tortured them and you killed them."

"I did nothing of the kind!" she replied with mock shock.

"You gave the order and you stood there while they did it." Harry's voice was still calm. He wasn't sure how he was remaining so calm but he was.

"It was for the greater good I assure you. Which is why I've brought you here."

"Forget it. I will never do anything for you."

"Really Mr. Potter, such words over something so small as a few undesirables?"

"Not just that. I will never do anything for you because of what you did to me."

"Mr. Potter can't you just put the past behind you and let by gones be by gones?" Harry's right fist clenched and he held it up so she could see the back of his hand and the scars there that still read "I shall not tell lies".

"Not really."

"Really Mr. Potter, it was for your own good." Harry let out an exasperated sigh and had a sudden desire to figure out what she wanted, refuse, and get out of here and back to Draco.

"What do you want?"

"I have a job for you. I know it will be a difficult task for you to perform but really, you are the best man for the job."

"Whatever it is, I won't do it."

"I don't really see how you have a choice Mr. Potter. If you don't agree to do this task for me, I will be forced to hold you prisoner here." Harry felt his stomach starting to sink. Something very very wrong was going on.

"You can't hold me prisoner here."

"Look around the room Mr. Potter," she said gesturing randomly about the room. He looked around and he could see the magic infused in the walls and the floor. She could hold him here if she so chose. If he wanted to find out what she was planning, he would have to play along. He sat down in the chair she had offered earlier. He had a feeling once she told him this he wouldn't be able to stand for a while.

"What do you want me to do?"

"It's a very simple task really. Kill Draco Malfoy." Harry felt his heart skip a beat but his face stayed still as stone.

"You do know that he is my husband," Harry said with a calm that surprised even him.

"Yes, but really Mr. Potter, wouldn't your life be easier married to say, Ginny Weasley? I seem to recall that she was quite sweet on you."

"Leave her out of this," he said starting to loose the calm he had so carefully kept.

"This would be your chance to end this unhealthy relationship that you have with Mr. Malfoy and start over fresh. You would be accepted back into the wizarding community with open arms after such a very long absence."

"I took that absence of my own free will," Harry replied. "Why do you want Mr. Malfoy killed?"

"I am working with a group of people that is continuing to weed out all the undesirables in the wizarding world in preparation for when we take over."

"Really? And who will be the new leader of this wizarding world that you are envisioning?"

"I will be, of course," she said straightening up and looking proud.

"Of course," Harry replied nodding.

"If you are able to pull this off, then we will entrust you with more important targets such as that horrible Remus Lupin that you put into power. So misguided of you really. He's a werewolf after all."

"That he is," Harry replied.

"Can we count on your cooperation?" Harry took in a deep breath and considered his options. If he tried to leave, she could keep him here for as long as she desired. And in the mean time, people he cared about would die. If he wanted to warn them and keep them safe, he would have to play this just right.

"Yes," he replied keeping his voice even and clear to hide the personal war going on inside of him.

"Excellent," she said with a smile. She tossed a necklace to him and he quickly put it on. "That will let us keep track of you. If we need to contact you, you will get a message through that." He looked down and saw that it was a simple blue jewel set in silver. "We will know where you are at all times."

"Will you be able to see and hear me too?"

"Not through that. But we will be keeping an eye on you."

"I won't just change my schedule immediately you know. This will take some time to work out."

"We know that. I do hope to hear from you soon. I want to know how you are progressing in your mission."

"Of course," he said as he stood up. He hoped that she didn't notice that his legs were shaking. "I will be in touch. Now if you don't mind, can I have a ride back to my apartment?"

"Of course Mr. Potter, Mr. Krum will take you home again." Harry bowed slightly to her. "And welcome to the right side of the fight." He turned and walked out of the room, down the hall, through the lobby, and back into the car again. Krum got in and they sped through the streets back to the shop. Harry got out and slammed the door back. The car sped away and he slowly walked into the shop. He locked the door back and put more protection spells over the house and the floors above. He was slowly trudging up the stairs when he heard Draco's voice call out in an uncertain tone,

"Harry? Is that you?" Harry went up the stairs faster and saw Draco sitting at the table fully dressed in Harry's clothes in one of the chairs he had pulled out of Harry's bag and resized while Harry had been gone. He was eating from a to-go box and it smelled like chicken curry. There was another box unopened sitting in the microwave. Harry knew it was probably meant for him and he felt the walls in his heart and head crumble as he stared at this small token of kindness Draco had done for him. His hand went over his mouth as he tried to muffle a sob and his eyes turned back to Draco when he heard the chair scrape and watched Draco walk towards him with concern written all over his face. "What's wrong Harry? What happened?" Harry couldn't speak. Draco held Harry's face in his hands and whispered to him, "What's wrong love? You can tell me. What happened?" Harry still couldn't speak. He just landed on his knees in front of Draco and wrapped his arms tightly around Draco's waist. Draco was confused but he held Harry's head and stroked his shaggy hair soothingly. "Shh, shh shh," he whispered trying to find the right words to say, "it's going to be all right Harry. Whatever it is, we'll get through this together." Harry held him tighter and breathed in Draco's scent. He made a promise to himself that he would not let Draco die, even if it meant giving up his own life.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I'm sorry... Draco, Gods I'm so sorry!" His sobs finally broke through and Draco kneeled down in front of him.

"Please Harry," Draco whispered holding Harry's face so that they could look into each other's eyes. What Draco saw in Harry's eyes nearly took his breath away. He saw terror and fear for the first time in years. The last time he had seen that look was the night before Harry went to fight Voldemort. "What's wrong? What happened?" Harry kissed Draco gently on the lips and whispered to him,

"We have to see Remus. There is something I have to tell him and you."

"What is it?" Draco asked wanting to know what had his lover so terrified.

"I have to get involved... in something very very bad... so that I can save you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've been ordered to kill you."


	27. Chapter 27

**Sorry for the delay, I've been thinking over and over this chapter and how to make it work.**

**WARNING: Gay story, Harry/Draco, a few kisses and lots of trouble for now.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, but if I did I would be able to afford the move to Louisiana and the tuition at LSU that I'm trying to accomplish.**

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Remus Lupin was sitting alone in his office that afternoon. He was quietly going through some paper work that needed to be signed and sipping on a cup of tea when he heard the loud crack of someone apparating into his office. Since there was only one person who had permission to do so, he didn't even look up and simply said,

"Hello Harry. How are you today?"

"Remus," said Harry with a voice that was shaking with fear which made Remus look up and stare at both Harry and Draco who were standing in front of him. The two men were still holding hands which Remus assumed was how Draco got in as well. Both of them looked pale and frightened. Remus put down his pen.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned by the looks on their faces.

"I'm in very very big trouble," said Harry trying to remain calm.

"Have a seat," Remus said gesturing towards the chairs in front of him. Both of them sat down in the chairs in front of Remus's desk. Their hands stayed locked together. "What's happened?"

"Viktor Krum came to see me today." Harry then told Remus the whole story and everything that had happened right up to where he had made it back home again. Remus stared wide-eyed at what he had heard. He had known that Umbridge and others were planning to do something, but they'd only been able to catch people when they attacked someone and even then they wouldn't talk about what they knew. Now, he had an inside man. It wasn't how he wanted to do this, but he knew that if it didn't work with Harry as the inside man, then it wouldn't work with anyone.

"Harry..." said Remus slowly, "I don't want to say this to you, but this is the best thing you could have done given the situation. We've known that Umbridge and others have been trying to take over for a while now. They have killed a few people. But we've only been able to catch the people that are killing others. And once we've caught them not even veritaserum works. They won't talk. You could be our inside man in this situation."

"There's one problem with that," said Harry. "Umbridge always puts veritaserum in her tea when talking to people. If she asked if I had told anyone about her plans, I would have to say yes. Also, she has others very skilled in legilimens. I'm horrible at it. They would know about this in a heart beat."

"Draco?" said Remus looking at him regretfully.

"I could do it," said Draco looking down.

"What are you two talking about?" said Harry looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Draco is especially skilled at legilimens, Harry," said Remus. "He could take the memories of all of this so that they would never know what you have said to me or him."

"And I can give them back to you whenever I see fit," said Draco.

"But-"

"There are no buts to this Harry," said Draco looking him in the eye. "I will not loose you. I lost you twice. I won't do it again. If taking your memories and keeping them in my brain will keep you safe I'll do it. I'd stab myself in the chest if I knew it was going to keep you safe. This is how it has to work." Harry squeezed Draco's hand tighter.

"Go home, the both of you. Draco, you have to take the memories of all this. Harry, you have to start working on a plan to kill Draco." Harry looked horrified.

"Remus, we came here because I want to keep from killing him. I can't do it. I won't kill him. I won't let him die."

"He won't die. Once we know we'll find a way to keep him alive. You have to tell Umbridge something."

"I know."

"And she'll probably make sure you kill him. Or else she will in ways far more cruel and terrible than any way you would think up." Harry winced when he imagined Draco in pain and Umbridge shouting Crucio! and the only thing that kept him in reality was Draco's hand squeezing his tighter and Draco's voice whispering in his ear,

"I trust you, Harry. I trust you to kill me. I don't give that trust to anyone else but you. I love you."

"We'll keep an eye on you until the next time Umbridge calls on you, Draco will give you back the memories of all this. You'll tell us how you are planning to kill Draco. Draco will take all of it away from you again. And then you have to kill him."

When Harry finally opened his eyes he nodded and whispered,

"All right, all right, I'll do it. I hate it. But I'll do it."

"We don't like it any better than you do," said Remus trying to sound reassuring.

"Just remember that my next target is you," said Harry looking up at Remus. Remus nodded. Then the two disappeared from the room. Remus leaned back in his chair and stared at the picture he kept on his desk of him, James, and Sirius from school. All three waved happily at him.

"I wish you were here, James," he said staring at the picture. "You would know how to fix this better than I would." He looked to the other picture of him and Severus. "I wish you were here too Severus," he said staring at the smiling picture of the two of them. "You and James might actually work together for the first time. You would know what to do."

"Try my grave," said Severus's picture. "I only accept visitors and have long conversations there." Remus quickly called his secretary and canceled his appointments for the rest of the day. He went out to the graveyard and took flowers to his old lover's grave.

"They are in a mess this time aren't they?" said Severus's ghost who was hovering near his grave stone.

"A very large mess," said Remus with a nod looking into his lover's eyes. "You know everything?"

"I do."

"What should be done?"

"Harry must kill Draco."

"Besides that."

"Remind Draco of a pair of potions that I taught him to make long ago. Juliet's Death and Romeo's Kiss. Juliet's Death will give him the appearance of death by all magical and medical standards. But he is not dead. He is only hovering over the threshold of death. Romeo's Kiss must be given to him no more than three days later. If you wait any longer he will be dead. Romeo's Kiss will revive him and bring him back to good health."

"I'll tell him." Remus started to walk away, but he felt his hand covered in something like ice. He looked down and saw Severus's hand over his.

"Take care of them," said Severus quietly, "and yourself. I love you." Remus looked back up into Severus's eyes and whispered,

"And I love you."

---------------------------------------------------

Harry and Draco got back to the shop and walked to the stairs that led up to the apartment. Draco stopped and pulled Harry close to him.

"It's going to be all right," Draco whispered to him. "We'll find a way."

"I hope so," Harry replied quietly. Draco kissed him soundly and took the memories of the last hour from Harry's mind. He left one command in Harry's mind around the memories of Umbridge that simply said, "DON'T TELL ANYONE". Then he covered his tracks in Harry's mind so well that he didn't think even Snape could have found what he did. He pulled away from Harry and he was still recovering from his memories being taken. Harry shook his head and tried to take away the dizziness. Then he opened his eyes and saw Draco standing in front of him.

"Are you all right?" Draco asked calmly.

"Yeah... just a dizzy spell," said Harry shaking his head again. He hadn't heard Draco coming down the stairs but he assumed that Draco had heard the front door open and shut when he came in. He was about to tell Draco about what had happened, but then he stopped and decided to keep the secret. No sense worrying his lover.

"Where did you go?" said Draco.

"A friend just wanted to talk," said Harry trying to sound convincing.

"Didn't look like someone just looking to talk."

"I know. He is highly protected by alot of people. He did some things that aren't very popular and while he did turn to the right side in the end alot of people don't remember. Plus the people he was working for got very angry and are still trying to kill him." Harry didn't think there was any way that Draco would believe that flimsy lie. And by the look on Draco's face there was no way that he would.

"Riiight," said Draco with an exaggerated nod. "When you decide to tell me the truth, give me a call." Draco started to walk past in a huff, but Harry caught Draco's hand in his and Draco found he couldn't get angry enough to walk out the door as long as Harry was holding his hand.

"No! Draco... please..." Harry said trying to fight the spell in his mind and tell the truth. Draco turned back and saw the fight going on. Harry looked like he was in severe pain the way he was holding his head. "I want to tell you, but I can't." Draco smoothed one hand over Harry's forehead to stop the internal war, strengthen the spell he put there, and eased the pain that Harry was causing himself by trying to fight Draco's spell.

"Maybe they used a spell on you so that you can't speak about any of it," he said trying to give Harry an explanation. Harry's head stopped pounding and he was thinking more clearly.

"Maybe... I don't know."

"It's all right Harry," Draco said pulling Harry to himself again. "Everything will be all right. Together we can handle anything." Harry let himself be held and he closed his eyes and hoped that Draco was right. He would have to kill his lover soon.


	28. Chapter 28

**...this chapter is ok. the next chapter may kill me just as much as you guys will want to kill me once I post it. I've been writing it in my head for weeks now, I just have to type it out.**

**WARNING: gay relationship**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter**

* * *

The next few days were extremely tense. But Draco couldn't remember when Harry had been a more attentive lover or husband or friend. Every day for the next few days Harry picked up Draco for lunch from Diagon Alley which usually involved them going back to Harry's flat, eating a lunch Harry had cooked up for them, and then having sweet and tender sex that made Draco just beg for more. The evenings were similar, Harry would pick Draco up after he closed up his shop and take him out to a fancy dinner at some expensive restaurant and their nights were full of passion and love making. If Draco forgot something, Harry would be there to bring his forgotten bag or bottle or ingredient for a potion. Remus had reminded Draco of Juliet's Death and Romeo's Kiss which Draco had been working on for six days and had finished by the time Umbridge called on Harry again.

They were having breakfast a week after Umbridge had first called, when they heard a car honking on the street below. Harry walked to the window and saw Krum waving at him from his place leaning against the car. Draco was at his side in a flash and looking down at Krum as well. Harry looked at Draco regretfully and said quietly,

"I have to step out for a minute and see what he wants."

"Be careful," Draco replied. Harry kissed Draco on the forehead and then walked down the stairs and out of the building.

"What do you want?" said Harry to Krum.

"The boss needs to see you," Krum said holding open the door. Harry looked up at the window again and saw Draco standing there with a look of almost helplessness. Harry put his hand over his heart just as he had done before and held his hand up to Draco. Draco pressed his hand to his own heart and then pressed his hand against the window. Harry took in a deep breath and got into the car. They took a winding path to the hotel again and he walked in. The same kitten was there waiting to lead him to Umbridge. He followed the white kitten into her office.

"Good morning Mr. Potter!" she said in her sweetest tone. "And how are we this morning? Would you like a spot of tea?"

"I'd rather not," he said as politely as possible. "I just finished a large breakfast."

"Suit yourself. I wanted to know what progress you are making in killing Draco Malfoy."

"I've been treating him like a king for the last week. In two days I will make him one of his favorite dishes. I am going to poison that dish. The poison will kill him quickly."

"I see," she said with a smile. "A very nice plan. What then?"

"People will know he is dead soon. I plan to call Remus Lupin at that point and have him pick up Draco's body. He will make what I have done public. At that point I need to hide so that I am not tracked down by the Ministry of Magic."

"We can easily hide you Mr. Potter. Just let us know when you have achieved your goal and I will send Krum around with the car to pick you up."

"Of course."

"It's good to know the lengths you will go to Mr. Potter. Not many would be willing to kill their spouse for a cause, even one that is just." Harry swallowed his revulsion and replied,

"There are alot of things that I will do that you would never imagine me capable of." For once, Umbridge seemed taken aback. Maybe it was the words, maybe it was his dark tone, or maybe it was just the look in his eyes. But she was startled.

"Very good Mr. Potter," she said trying to recover quickly with a fake smile. But Harry knew that he had thrown her off balance. He put the thought in the back of his mind to be used for later. "We will await your message." Harry bowed slightly to her and turned on his heel and marched out of the room. Krum and the car took him back to the shop again. He found as he got to the door he could still speak of what he had done. He unlocked it and shut it tightly behind him. As he turned around he found himself pinned against the door and Draco's lips locked on his. Suddenly his head was pounding. He remembered a whole hour from a week ago and he could speak of the first time that Umbridge called on him. But for right now all he could do was scream. Draco held him tightly and whispered,

"I'm sorry Harry, I'm so so sorry, but there's nothing I can do to stop the pain. You just have to wait it out. It will be over soon." He stroked Harry's hair calmly and ran his fingernails over Harry's back in an attempt to soothe him. When the pounding his head finally eased he looked up at Draco.

"You've known?" said Harry breathlessly. "This whole time... you've known."

"I'm sorry. It was the only way to keep Umbridge from killing you and I'm-"

"Stop apologizing! I'm not mad, I'm relieved as weird as that sounds. We have to see Remus now. I told Umbridge how I'm going to kill you and when." Draco nodded and held Harry's hand tightly. "Remus's office." They apparated and found Remus sitting at his desk. Remus looked up immediately with nervousness in his eyes.

"Umbridge called you again?" he asked before they even sat down. Harry nodded. "What did you tell her?"

"I'm going to poison Draco," said Harry. "On Sunday I'm going to make him dinner and I'm going to poison his dish."

"All right, that will work out perfectly," said Remus. "We've been working on a plan."

"What is it?"

"I'm making a pair of potions that Snape taught me how to make a long time ago," Draco said turning to Harry. "Juliet's Death and Romeo's Kiss. I'll just have to switch the poison you're going to use with Juliet's Death. I'll appear by all medical and magical standards to be dead. Once I'm given Romeo's Kiss, I'll wake up and return to good health within a couple of days. I brought it with me." He put the bottle marked with a flowery label, "Romeo's Kiss", on Remus's desk.

"All right, Harry poisons you. Harry, once Draco is... well, appears to be dead-"

"I already plan to call you and give you Draco's body," said Harry before either could say anymore. "You have to make his death and how he died public. Then keep him safe at St. Mungo's."

"I promise I will Harry," said Remus picking up the bottle on his desk and putting it in his jacket pocket. "He won't come to harm."

"If he does..." Harry started to say but Remus held up his hand and said,

"I know, I'm your next target. I don't blame you Harry." Harry turned back to Draco.

"You have to take all of this from me again don't you?" Draco nodded with a sad look in his eyes. "The poison I'm going to use is in the little box I keep your love letters in. You know the one, on the top shelf of my closet." Draco nodded again. "You know that I love you, right?"

"I know, Harry. I love you."

"Remus, I'll send you a message on Sunday." Remus nodded. "Now if you'll excuse us, I want to return home and spend as much time with my husband as I can." Harry quickly took Draco's hand and they apparated back to the shop. Draco moved to kiss Harry, but Harry put a hand on his chest.

"Wait just a second," said Harry. "Promise me something."

"Anything," Draco replied without hesitation.

"When this is all over and you're alive and I'm alive and we are still in love with each other, we need to take a long vacation together." Draco smiled and nodded.

"Of course Harry. Anywhere you want."

"Anywhere?"

"I said anywhere didn't I?"

"Even if I said I want to go to Antarctica and watch Emperor Penguins waddle around?"

"I'll waddle with them if you want me to." Harry giggled slightly at the image of Draco waddling around with a bunch of penguins. Draco smiled in return and stroked Harry's cheek. "It will be fine Harry. I've got everything in place. And you're the only person in the world that I trust to kill me." Draco slowly pushed Harry against the door and kissed him gently this time. He took everything that needed to be taken and put guards around the memories of Umbridge once again. Harry looked a little confused and dizzy again.

"You miss me that much?" said Harry in a slightly teasing voice. "I was only gone about fifteen minutes."

"I miss you every time you are gone," said Draco stroking Harry's cheek again. "You've been so attentive lately, it almost felt weird not having you right at my side. Why all the close attention lately anyway?"

"We were apart for three years and that was all my fault," said Harry. "I'm trying to make up for it." It was the truth. Harry had been intending on making up for all he had done with many days of careful attention to Draco's needs and wants. He just didn't tell the other part, the part where he wanted as much time with Draco as possible before he killed the only love of his life. But Draco already knew that part and let it slide. "Are you working on Sunday?"

"You know I don't work on Sunday."

"I was just making sure. I want to take you out that day and then have a nice dinner at home." Draco pulled off a smile and said quietly,

"I'd like that." Harry barely smiled and the two kissed gently. It was Friday. By Sunday, Draco would be gone and Harry wasn't sure how long he would live without Draco.


	29. Chapter 29

I know, it's been a year and three months and five hours and twelve seconds......... but here you go, here's the next chapter. No sex this time, just a kiss.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter but if I did... God the money I would have

* * *

Draco woke up on the last morning that he and Harry would be together. He rolled over in bed and looked at his sleeping husband. When asleep, one could almost believe that no harm had ever come to Harry Potter before. He looked so innocent and peaceful. Draco sighed and snuggled into Harry's arms. Harry unconsciously wrapped his arms around Draco and they both sighed and went back to sleep.

* * *

A few hours later, Harry woke up and looked down at Draco sleeping in his arms. Harry wished over and over again that he didn't have to do what he was about to do today. But there was no other way. Maybe one day, Draco could forgive him. He looked at the clock and saw that it was one in the afternoon. They had almost slept the day completely away.

"Draco?" Harry whispered into Draco's ear. "It's one in the afternoon. We need to get up and get moving." Draco muttered something unintelligible and pulled Harry tighter to him. Harry wrapped his arms tighter around Draco and gave in. He didn't want to leave this bed or these arms. Harry slowly drifted back to sleep.

* * *

At five in the afternoon, both of them woke up at the same time.

"Is that really the time?" said Draco looking at the clock. "We slept the day away."

"It would seem so," said Harry. "I'll make us some dinner." Harry stood up and wrapped himself in his robe. Draco didn't want Harry to walk away. But this had to play out. Harry walked into the kitchen and started making shrimp scampi. Draco continued to lie in bed as the smells of shrimp and garlic and pasta began to float into the room. He got up, put on his own robe, and walked into the kitchen. He gently put his arms around Harry from behind.

"I love you, you know?" said Draco kissing Harry on the neck. "No matter what happens."

"I love you," said Harry biting his tongue to hold back tears. Draco sat down at the table in the dining room. Harry put the food on the plates. He walked in and put one plate in front of Draco and the other across the table for himself. He sat down and they began to eat.

"This is delicious," said Draco with a smile.

"I'm glad you think so," Harry replied as he took a large bit from his own plate. Draco was chewing and chewing and trying to taste the rosemary taste of Juliet's Death. But he couldn't taste it. Then he knew what had happened. He looked across the table and saw Harry nearly pitch forward into his plate.

"Harry what have you done?!" he screamed as he ran to his lover's side. Harry fell off the chair into Draco's arms. His breath was coming in gasps.

"I couldn't… kill you…" he muttered. "I've been seeing Umbridge… That's who Krum takes me to see… Umbridge… She wanted me to kill you or else she would kill you. I couldn't let her… but I couldn't kill you either."

"Harry!! Damn it!!" Draco kissed Harry quickly and all the memories came flooding back to Harry. Harry stared at Draco in shock.

"Fuck…" Harry whispered as he went limp in Draco's arms. Draco shook his head at his lover.

"Stupid chivalrous Gryffindor," he whispered while tears rolled down in cheeks. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" He kissed Harry on the cheek and closed Harry's eyes. He slowly laid Harry down on the floor. He heard the snap of an apparition and Remus Lupin stood before him.

"What happened?" Remus asked looking down at Harry.

"The stupid Gryffindor couldn't stand the idea of killing me," Draco said as he began to sob. "The damn idiot!" He tore at his cheeks angrily trying to make the tears go away. Remus slowly walked to Draco, kneeled next to him, and held him gently in his arms as Draco cried. "Why did he do it?" Draco muttered. "Why?"

"Because he loves you," said Remus. "He loves you so much he would rather die than kill you."

"What do I do now?" Remus didn't answer. He just held Draco tighter as the tears soaked through his jacket. As the tears died down, Draco got an idea.

"I have to go to Umbridge," said Draco quietly. "I have to… she'll know. She'll know everything."

"Not if we don't want her to," said Remus. Draco turned to Remus. "You aren't the only one who is good at occlumency. I can take the memories of our meetings and alter this memory so that you believe that Harry is dead and I stormed in here and took Harry's body away. She'll believe you then. And she won't know a thing."

"What am I supposed to say to her?"

"Tell her… that you want to join her."

"Why?"

"Revenge. You will remember that Harry came to see me right after he went away with Krum. I could have stopped him but I didn't because he's Harry Potter and I thought he could handle it. I was wrong. And now I have to pay."

"You do know that I will come at you with everything I've got."

"I would expect nothing less." Remus touched Draco's forehead for a few moments and then shoved Draco away from Harry's body.

"How could you?!" Remus yelled in his loudest voice.

"Harry…" Draco said staring at Harry's body.

"How could you kill him?!"

"I didn't! It was the food. He put something in the food… oh God…"

"He was supposed to give it to you!" Remus yelled. "All those meetings he's been slipping away to with Viktor Krum? He's been seeing Umbridge!"

"What?!"

"And she ordered him to kill you! I told him to do it. I told him it was the only way he could survive long enough to figure out what Umbridge was doing. But the stupid idiot couldn't hold it together! He had to go off and be the brave Gryffindor yet again and give his life for you!" Draco stood and punched Remus in the face in one swift motion. Remus fell to the floor and stared at up at a Slytherin enraged.

"Don't you ever talk about Harry like that again!" he shouted. "How dare you!! He loved me! That's why he did this! That's why he couldn't kill me! How dare you order him to kill me! You know him better than I do! You should have known it would end like this!" Remus grabbed Harry's body and snapped his fingers before Draco could say anything else. Draco was stunned at first. Then he smashed every stick of furniture in the apartment. Once everything was in splinters, he looked out the window and down at the street. Viktor Krum was waiting next to a car. He put his wand in his pocket, threw on his coat, and marched down the stairs. He opened the door and Viktor looked up.

"Hello Viktor," said Draco. Viktor looked only slightly surprised.

"Hello Draco," said Viktor. "Can't say I'm too surprised to see you."

"Take me to Umbridge." Viktor opened the passenger door and held it open for him.

"As you wish." Draco got into the car and Viktor slammed the door shut. The last thing Draco thought as they drove away was,

"Harry, I love you. I'll make sure the people responsible for your death pay dearly."

* * *

All right, hopefully I will update sooner than a year and three months later this time. This time my writer's block may have finally broken.


	30. Chapter 30

**Ok, so, ten months. I'm getting better!**

**Gay relationship between Harry and Draco, don't like, don't read.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter but if I did... God the money I would have.**

* * *

Draco watched London speed by. He was heading towards a woman that he hated with every fiber of his being. But he felt nothing. Nothing towards her. Nothing about what he was about to do. He felt nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing mattered anymore.

Viktor opened the door and Draco stepped out. He walked into the building and followed the small white kitten down the hall to the disgustingly pink office.

"Hello Mr. Malfoy!" said Umbridge with an equally disgustingly sweet smile. Draco had to bite his tongue to keep from correcting her on his name.

"Kind words to someone you just tried to have killed," said Draco in an indifferent tone.

"Now Mr. Malfoy," she replied, "is that anyway to address your new ally? I was just trying to bring you back to the right side."

"I see. And your side is the right one?"

"Who better to help us rid the world of all undiserables? You were, after all, a member of the Death Eaters. You know who they are, who their children are, who their families are, and where they might all be hiding."

"I have a few connections, yes."

"And the others I'm sure you will be more than happy to help Viktor track down. All those dreadful werewolves and centaurs and such."

"I do possess certain skills."

"Very good Mr. Malfoy. Go home. Once the news that Harry Potter is dead hits the streets people will be calling out for blood. Your blood specifically. You should find a place that will keep you safe and out of sight."

"I know a place. You'll have to contact me by owl if you want to find me there."

"You will soon recieve word from us. Now, go and lay low."

"Yes ma'am." Draco stood, walked out the door, walked out of the building, and into the car. The car took him back to his own apartment instead of Harry's place. He got out and walked up the stairs to his own place. He packed a couple of robes, shirts, pants, shoes, socks, potions, herbs, furniture, kitchen implements, and food in his bag. He shrunk down the bag and stuck it in his robe pocket.

"Here goes nothing," he muttered to himself. He muttered a few words and apparated to Harry's house in Ireland. He looked around and found that most of the house was empty. He quickly went about unpacking and re-furnishing the house as much as he could. When all was done he sat down next to the fireplace in which he had built a fire and put the picture of Harry and Draco on the small side table next to his chair. He stared at the picture as the two figures embraced and kissed passionately.

"I miss you," he whispered to the picture.

* * *

Remus Lupin landed with a thud in St. Mungo's with Harry in his arms.

"Minister!" shouted Mrs. Pomfrey who had been dutifully waiting for Remus and Draco. Upon finding Harry in his arms instead, she was quite shocked. Remus didn't say a word but picked up Harry and laid him in the bed that Mrs. Pomfrey had readied for them. "What happened?"

"An unfortunate change in plans Poppy," he replied as he poured the Romeo's Kiss potion down Harry's thoat. Harry slowly came back to consciousness with a cough and a sputter like one coming up from water. Remus helped him sit up and patted him on the back as he coughed roughly.

"Breathe slowly Harry," he said calmly. "Your body has been through a great shock." Harry looked at Remus and everything came rushing back to him.

"Oh God.. I fucked it up. I fucked it up so badly."

"Calm down Harry," Remus said reassuringly. "Draco and I fixed it. He's going to Umbridge in your place."

"She'll know!"

"She won't. I made sure that she won't." Harry sighed and covered his face with his hands.

"Well, I screwed this one up royal."

"Draco called you a stupid chivalrous Griffyndor." Harry laughed and laid back in the bed.

"He would say that. Arrogant hypocritical Slytherin. He'll give up his life for me but I can't do the same for him."

"I think you just did Harry. We need to get the word out to the papers soon so that Umbridge won't suspect."

"I know. I guess I'm staying in this room until this is all over."

"That's the idea. Draco had brought things up here all ready for when he would be staying. I can unpack them for you and set up the room."

"Yes, please." Remus nodded. He turned to a small box and began to unpack and unshrink everything inside it. Harry watched as Remus arranged a small bedside table, a small rug, several books, a red and green blanket, the black robe with the silver dragon going up the side, and last was a picture of Harry and Draco with their arms around each other. Harry watched as the two smiled and each other and Harry rested his head on Draco's shoulder.

"I miss you," Harry whispered to the photograph.


	31. Chapter 31

**No sex this time around, they're in two different places. But hey! I updated the next day! Go me!! :-P**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter but I wish I did.**

* * *

HARRY POTTER IS DEAD!!!

Reports are sketchy, but the official report from St. Mungo's is that Harry Potter arrived at St. Mungo's at ten a.m. on Sunday morning complaining of a severe headache. A few hours later, despite the best efforts of the doctors, Harry Potter died. Currently no one is reporting how, but there have been many speculations. The leading theory being that an argument with his current companion, Draco Malfoy-Potter, who he married some three years ago, turned nasty and Draco Malfoy-Potter may have poisoned his lover and killed him. Draco Malfoy-Potter meanshile seems to have diappeared from England. His assistants have no idea where he is and his apartment is empty and apparently abandoned.

Harry thre down the copy of the Daily Mirror that he had been reading onto the breakfast tray. Remus didn't look up from his own copy.

"You knew it would go like this Harry," said Remus.

"I just wish they didn't say such things about Draco," Harry replied looking at his smiling portrait on the front cover of the paper. It had been decided that it would be more tasteful to put a live portrait instead of a picture of a dead body; thus ending the need for a faked picture. "Does anybody know where he is?"

"No. No one knows for certain anyway. There are theories as always. Romania, France, Russia."

"You know where he probably went don't you?"

"My best bet would be to your house in Ireland. Since no one but you and I and he know about it, it's the best hiding place."

"There is one other who knows that place."

"Who?"

"Anthony Kobayashi. He's a childhood friend of Draco's. Helped me out with some mental problems."

"Do you think he would tell anyone?"

"No. I also think that of all the people in the world to figure out what is going on, he would be the one. He knows Draco better than most. Maybe better than me. But he would also know that something else is going on and to keep his mouth shut."

* * *

"Did you really think I was that stupid?" said Anthony Kobayashi as he walked up to Draco. Draco was just locking up the house and was about to head into town for some supplies. He nearly jumped three feet in the air when he heard Tony's voice.

"Merlin's blue balls Tony!" said Draco regaining some semblance of composure. "You nearly scared the ghost out of me." Tony shoved a copy of the Daily Mirror into Draco's hands. Draco read with disgust the words they were saying about him.

"I know you didn't do it," said Tony. "So explain it to me. What happened?" Draco opened the door to the house again and gestured for Tony to walk in. Once securely in the house, Draco put silencing charms and protection spells around the house.

"What are you doing?" asked Tony.

"Putting up spells in case you were followed," Draco replied.

"All right, you're starting to worry me now. What has happened?" Draco turned and looked at his friend.

"I need you to keep this a secret. And I mean keep it like you have kept all those secrets that we kept for each other in childhood."

"I promise Draco. You can trust me."

"I didn't kill Harry."

"Duh."

"Harry killed himself." Tony looked at him with a confused expression on his face.

"Last time I saw him he was in good spirits. Not the suicidal type at all."

"He got pulled into something very dangerous. Umbridge found him."

"Umbridge is still around?"

"Oh, very much so. She recruited him to kill me and others. She is part of an underground group that is trying to weed out undesirables and make the magical world a better place again. Remus Lupin, our brainless leader, was getting Harry to do everything Umbridge said. He wanted to find out what Umbridge was up to and was using Harry. His first task was to kill me. Instead, he killed himself. Then I went to Umbridge and signed myself up to her cause. I'm going to try to take her group down from the inside. Right now I'm doing as she ordered and laying low. With everyone believing that Harry Potter is dead and of course assuming that I killed him, London is not a good place to be."

"So you came here. How many people know about this place?"

"You, Harry, and Remus Lupin."

"And you don't think the man will come here looking for you?"

"I doubt it. He's too busy handling the PR nightmare which is the death of the Golden Child. There isn't time right now to send out a search party for me."

"People have a way of making time. I made time to track you down didn't I?" Draco couldn't deny that it had been incredibly easy for Tony to find him.

"I'll have to make the house unplottable."

"You do that. I'm going into town to get those things you were going to get."

"How did you know I was going into town to shop?" said Draco.

"You had a list in your hand that included candles and whiskey. Generally that means a shopping expedition is in order." Tony took the list from Draco's hand. "Besides, people in the town have seen you before. Best to keep out of sight."

* * *

"How long am I going to have to hide here?" said Harry staring out the window.

"Until this is done," Remus replied.

"And how long will that take?"

"I don't know Harry. I hope it won't be more than a few months."

"A few months?" said Harry turning to Remus now.

"I don't know how long Umbridge is going to have Draco lay low. It could be a while. And it could be longer before anything else is known."

"Are we going to keep saying Draco was my killer?"

"I haven't decided yet. That's what Umbridge wants. But she would also believe that the government was trying to cover up the real reasons if we publish something else. And that would allow Draco to come out of hiding sooner. It would take the blame off of him. Still, he'd probably have to stay hidden for at least a month."

"And meanwhile I can only hide here and do nothing?"

"I know it's frustrating Harry. But it's the best course of action for all involved right now."

"I can't just sit here and do nothing."

"I'm afraid you have to. There's nothing else you can do Harry. You're dead. And for now everyone has to believe that you are dead. And the only way to do that is for you to stay here." Harry ran his fingers through his hair and pulled it back into a pony tail with a leather tie.

"I want to do **something**."

"You can read. Practice magic. Practice your potions making. Come up with something that could help."

"All I want is Draco back."

"Then you need to think up something quick so that can happen." Harry looked at the small stack of books on the table.

"I'll need more books than this."

"I'll bring you some tonight when I bring dinner." Remus walked out the door. Harry picked up the first book on the stack. It was a book on location and protection spells. He looked up at the photograph in the frame.

"If it means I have to read every single book in the world, I **will** think of something."

* * *

Draco and Tony were sitting in the living room that night. Draco was sipping on whiskey while staring into the fire. Tony was sipping wine and reading a book.

"Isn't your wife wondering where you are?" said Draco a little more harshly than he meant to.

"I told her that I needed to take care of a friend for a couple of days," he said not looking up from his book. "With all the days that I spend at the hospital she's used to this."

"You should be with her."

"Not tonight." He shut the book and set the book down on the table. "Did you finish the spells?"

"Yes. After you got back I made the house completely hidden. The password is Percival."

"The knight who accompanied Galahad to the castle of the Grail?"

"I've always held an affection for him. He set his life to doing one thing and he achieved it."

"And then he died."

"He still achieved it." Tony nodded.

"Percival it is then." Draco drained his glass and set it down on the table.

"How long will I be laying low?"

"A month at least. All depends on how the papers tell the story. If you are the villain of the hour, it could be longer. If they blame someone else and put away someone for the murder, a month at least. Six weeks at most."

"Either way, I'm stuck here for a while." Tony finished his wine and stood up.

"I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late." He put away the glass in the kitchen and went up the stairs to the spare bedroom. Draco continued staring at the fire.

"Enough time to master a few things," Draco muttered to himself.


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but if I did I would be sitting pretty and eating cake.**

**Anyway, bit of a cliffhanger. I will be updating soon. At least within the next couple of days.**

* * *

Two weeks later

Harry looked at the Daily Mirror sitting on the table. The headline read:

POTTER'S DEATH FOUND TO BE SUICIDE

In a tragic turn of events it has been discovered that Harry Potter committed suicide. He poisoned himself and then came to St. Mungo's hoping to reverse what he had done. Interviews have been conducted and it is believed that he was quite depressed. A source, that wishes to remain anonymous, reported that he had been depressed for many years and while he had been doing better of late, he had recently suffered a great personal shock.

The article continued with long paragraphs about his life and accomplishments. It wasn't really the way he wanted to be remembered. But once this was all over the Daily Mirror would have a field day with the real story. He pushed away the paper and picked up the book he had been reading on enchanting objects. Remus walked in with a tray on his arm. On it were a few sandwiches and two glasses of pumpkin juice.

"I see you've all ready seen the Daily Mirror," he said looking down at the paper on the floor.

"I saw it," Harry said not looking up.

"I am sorry Harry. It was the only thing I could think of."

"As long as I don't have to stay dead for the rest of my natural life, I'll be fine." Harry grabbed a sandwich from the tray and started eating as he read. "Who was the anonymous source anyway? You?"

"No, Anthony Kobayashi. He won't say much, but he knows alot. I think he even knows where Draco is and is in touch with him." Harry looked up at Remus with a pointed stare.

"Does he know I'm alive?"

"No. I think he trully believes that you are dead. His only interest is in helping Draco."

"At least he isn't alone in this."

* * *

Draco stared at the paper in disgust.

"I'm guessing you were the anonymous source?" he said to Tony.

"None other," Tony replied. "I thought adding in a source would add some validity to the story. Less questions the better."

"My hero," said Draco with heavy sarcasm in his voice.

"Just doing what I can." Draco sipped on his tea and threw the paper into the fire. He returned to the cauldron in which he was cooking a very sensitive potion and stirred it slowly twice.

"What are you making anyway?" said Tony staring at the pot. "You've been cooking that for three days now."

"It's a very special potion."

"What does it do exactly?"

"Strengthens, heals, and restores one to perfect health in minutes. Thought it might come in handy in the coming months since I'm going to be fighting powerful wizards and witches and all."

"You intend on going through with this then?"

"It looks that way. Not certain what else to do." Tony sat down across from Draco.

"You could just stay here. Find another way."

"If I don't do this, Umbridge will find someone else and they will do more damage. This way at least I can stop a few good people from dying." Draco grabbed a few herbs from a wooden bowl near by and threw them into the pot. The mixture sizzled and then turned a deep blue.

"But you're going to follow Umbridge's orders, are you not?"

"I'll look like I'm following orders. I intend on saving these victims and putting them somewhere safe."

"How many safe houses do you have?"

"A couple. I still have Harry's house. I haven't been able to sell it yet. I have Snape's house. I have a country house owned by my family. I have places to hide people. That's not the problem. The problem will be convincing them that I'm trying to save them and fake their deaths for a while."

"That will be interesting to say the least. You don't exactly have a glowing reputation."

"Thanks Tony."

"Heard anything from Umbridge yet?"

"Nothing. She may want to wait longer to make sure everything has cooled down."

"Can't be more than another week or two." Draco took another handful of herbs and threw them into the pot. The mixture sizzled again and turned a royal blue.

"Almost ready," Draco muttered as he gently stirred the pot again.

"You're going to need help."

"I know." Draco stirred again and blew on it gently. The mixture was now sky blue. "You're not intending on leaving my side are you?"

"And miss all this excitement? Not a chance." Draco smiled a mischevious grin at his old friend and then took the pot off the fire.

"Finally got it right." He gently ladled the mixture into several small clear bottles and corked them. He stored them in a leather bag near the fire and then buckled it closed. "Just a few more things and then I'll be ready."

* * *

Harry pulled on his invisibility cloak and walked out of his room. He silently padded on bare feet down the hall and into the large exercise room. He locked the door securely and turned to Remus who was standing in the middle of the room. The urge to fool with his old teacher was just too strong. He slowly started walking to the right wall.

"Harry?" said Remus starting to think that Harry was either not there or playing with him. "Harry? C'mon, no games today. We have to practice." Harry smiled and continued to walk silently around his old professor. "I'm serious Harry. No games." Harry stepped directly in front of his teacher, brought his wand up, and then threw off the cloak. Remus jumped back three feet and pointed his wand directly at Harry.

"Jumpy Remus?" said Harry with a grin that Remus knew all too well.

"Very," said Remus. "These aren't exactly peaceful times."

"They're supposed to be." Harry threw a minor curse and Remus deflected it.

"Alot of things are supposed to be." Remus returned fire and Harry deflected.

"But they never are." Now they began sparring in earnest. Curses and deflections shot around the room until Harry finally knocked Remus back with a spell that Remus didn't expect.

"You're getting much better," said Remus slowly climbing up from the floor.

"Alot of good this will do if I never get to use it."

"You will soon."

"How do you know?" Harry sent another curse and Remus deflected it.

"With your death explained, it will only be another couple of weeks before Umbridge sends for Draco." Remus sent a curse and Harry deflected with ease.

"And then?"

"And then we will watch and wait for what happens next." Harry sent a powerful curse suddenly and Remus visibly struggled to deflect it.

"And what if he comes after you next? How will I find out all the things I need to know? How will I know what Draco is doing? What will I do if you are dead?" Harry sent another curse and Remus deflected it more easily this time.

"Poppy has instructions. She'll let you know everything you need."

"She'll shield me. You and I know that."

"Others have instructions to deliver packages to her. She won't open them and those packages won't sheild you from what is going on."

"Who?"

"My assistant. Anthony Kobayashi."

"Tony knows too much."

"He knew too much long ago. But he's not a person of interest for the Ministry or Umbridge. He will be able to move about without suspicion." Harry picked up his cloak and threw it on again. He walked to the door and then turned and said,

"I'm hoping he won't be another innocent caught in the cross fire."

* * *

Draco threw a bottle of potion at the ground. Smoke billowed, fire burned, and Draco coughed profusely while waving the smoke away from his face.

"What am I missing?!" he shouted at the hole in the floor. He waved his wand and repaired the floor before turning back to the book.

"That's the problem with those old books," said Severus Snape's ghost from the doorway. "Always leaving out bits so that the next generation cannot surpass the generation that came before."

"So I have to suffer due to the pride of old men?"

"Not always Draco," Snape said with a smile. He floated to the book and read the recipe. "It's missing Hellebane. Three sprigs of it at the end of brewing should do the trick." Draco set his cauldron in the sink and set a scrubbing charm on it.

"At least I didn't burn down the house in the process."

"Many have. Many have burned along with it."

"How is the view from the afterlife?"

"Very broad. I've seen everything."

"I can't believe what Remus did." Snape bit his ghostly tongue even though he wanted to defend his lover.

"He did what he thought was best Draco."

"How can you defend him?"

"I told you, my view is very broad from the afterlife. He had very few choices. All of them difficult. Of these choices, the one he made was the best."

"I'm not so sure about that. I lost someone I love because of that decision."

"Lots of people lose people because of decisions someone else made. That's what happens in wars like this." Before Draco could speak again, a barn owl started pecking away at the front window. Draco opened the window and took the message from the owl. He paid the owl and then shut the window back.

"Who is it from?" asked Snape.

"Umbridge," he replied looking at the seal on the envelope. He opened the letter and read aloud,

"To Mr. Draco Malfoy wherever you may be,

"We hope that this owl finds you well and well hidden. In another week we want you to come back to London to continue your mission. We have chosen another mark for you. We know it will be difficult, but we are certain that you will be able to succeed where others have most miserably failed. Your next target is..." Draco's voice trailed off upon reading the name. He didn't want to say it.

"Who is it?"

"Minister of Magic Remus Lupin."


	33. Chapter 33

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, but God I wish I did.**

* * *

One week later

Draco walked into Harry's house in London. This place was also nearly bare. But it would have to do. He set about setting up the house again and getting it ready for guests. He also put strong protection spells around the house and made it unplottable like the house in Ireland and the house in the country. He had been doing this all morning and he was beginning to get tired of it. But he wanted Umbridge to believe that he was carrying out her orders and that meant making people disappear. He laid out mattresses, stocked the kitchen, dusted the place from top to bottom, and made certain there were plenty of candles around the house. After doing this all morning, Draco finally sat down in the middle of the house and breathed. It was strange being in the house again after so long. He could almost hear Harry's laugh. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to pretend.

"What are you doing here alone?" said Harry's voice from behind in his head. "Come back to bed my love." He could almost feel the thud of Harry's knees behind him and the squeeze of Harry's arms around his chest.

"I... I can't," Draco whispered. "I don't have you anymore. I can't sleep."

"You have to sleep at some point."

"One day I will. And then I'll be with you again." Tears slipped down his cheeks as he tried to remember the feel of Harry's lips against his neck.

"Until then, remember that I love you always." And then he was gone. Draco opened his eyes, wiped the tears off of his cheeks, and stood up again. He walked to the door and opened. Then he turned back.

"I love you too Harry." Then he walked out and shut the door.

* * *

Draco dressed in a black cloak. He marched into the Ministry of Magic, but no one noticed him. He was using a spell to make himself unnoticeable to anyone who saw him. If they saw him, their attention was diverted away. He walked to the elevator and pushed the button. In his mind he prayed, "Harry, Snape, please forgive me for what I am about to do. Believe me, I will be kind for your sakes." The doors opened and he marched onto the floor, down the hall, and into the office of the Minister of Magic. Remus looked up with a confused expression as the door opened. Then Draco threw back his hood and with it the spell he had been using to divert everyone's attention. He pointed his wand directly at Remus and shouted,

"Crucio!" Remus tried to dodge it but then collapsed in pain screaming. Aurors rushed the door but Draco pushed them back with a sweep of his arm. "You'll never see your precious minister again!" Draco shouted as he grabbed hold of Remus's collar. The Aurors tried to run to their Minister's aid but Draco apparated him and Remus out of the building. The Aurors stared in horror at the empty space before them. Now, they had reason to hate Draco Malfoy.

* * *

Draco landed on the hard wood floor, Remus on a much softer mattress. But Remus was still writhing and screaming in pain. Draco scrambled for the box next to the mattress and pulled out a potion. He pulled Remus's head into his lap and he shouted,

"Remus! Listen to me! Drink this quickly!" He uncorked a small bottle with his teeth, held Remus's head up and poured the concoction down his throat. Remus sputtered at first but then swallowed the rest of it down. Draco let him lay his head back. He could see the man was still in pain. "Another one?" Draco asked with a nod. Remus nodded back quickly. Draco uncorked another one and helped him sit up further. Remus took the bottle and drank down the entire contents. The potion felt like cold soothing ice going through his veins that had been burning. Draco looked at the box and counted the potions.

"Draco..?" Remus said when he finally had the ability to talk.

"You should take another one of those tonight before you go to sleep. I also brought some Wolfsbane Potion. There will be at least a few full moons while you are here."

"You're hiding me here?"

"I'm hiding you instead of killing you which are my orders," said Draco looking straight at him with fire in his eyes. "I'm hiding you because that is what Harry and Severus would want me to do. I need something of yours to prove that you are dead. Something you would never give up." Remus thought for a moment and then took off a chain that had a ring on it. Draco held out his hand and Remus gently put it in his hand and let the chain coil around the ring.

"Severus gave it to me when we were young," Remus whispered. "I've never taken it off since he gave it to me. Until today." Draco wrapped his hand tightly around it.

"I'll get it back to you as soon as I can." Draco launched from the floor and marched to the door.

"Draco?" said Remus quietly. Draco stopped. "I'm sorry." Draco closed his eyes, fought back his urge to murder Remus right then, and walked out the door.

* * *

"Very good Mr. Malfoy," said Umbridge looking at the ring Draco was holding out in his hand. "You have done very well."

"The Aurors saw me," said Draco sticking the ring back in his pocket.

"It was unavoidable. The place is full of them. You'll have to slip away for a little while."

"How long?"

"Not long. A week at most. I'll send word to you of your next target." Draco nodded, pulled his hood over his head again, and then left.

* * *

Anthony Kobayashi knocked on Mrs. Pomfrey's office door that night.

"Yes Dr. Kobayashi?" said Mrs. Pomfrey as she opened the door.

"I have a package to deliver," he said calmly.

"Ah yes, I'll take that to the patient." Tony pulled the package away.

"I have instructions to deliver it myself." Mrs. Pomfrey sighed impatiently and then replied,

"You must not tell anyone that this patient is here. Do you understand me?"

"I do understand. I am here as a doctor. Anything I do, see, or help with here will remain confidential." Pomfrey nodded and then led him down the hall. She pulled a special key from her apron, kissed it, and unlocked the door. Tony walked in and froze to the spot.

"Well then," said Harry. "It seems that things have gotten worse." Tony heard the door snap closed behind him. Harry stood and walked towards Tony with his hand out. "I assume that is for me." Tony handed Harry the package and he opened it. Inside was a copy of the Daily Mirror with the headline: "**THE MINISTER OF MAGIC PRESUMED DEAD**"

"Yes, things have definitely gotten worse," Harry said looking at the headline.

"What are you doing here?" said Tony.

"Hiding, unfortunately. I have to keep up the appearance that I am dead."

"Does Draco know?" Harry looked up at him with a harsh look.

"Yes, and no. Remus altered his memories so that he will think that I'm dead."

"And when exactly are you going to fix that?"

"When Umbridge is caught and all of this is over."

"I hope Draco lives that long." Harry winced and sat down on the bed.

"Have you seen him?" Harry asked so quietly it was almost a whisper.

"Yes."

"How is he?"

"He hates himself. He hates Remus. He believes that you are dead and the only thing he has left to live for is this fight. Once that's over... I don't know what he'll do." Harry rubbed his forehead and let out a deep sigh.

"Hopefully I'll get to him before he does anything stupid."

"You and me both."


	34. Chapter 34

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, but I wish that I did. Anyway, we're nearing the end. Touch of a cliffhanger here that I thought up late last night. Hope you all like it.**

* * *

Three months later...

Draco stared into the fire. He wished he could throw himself in and be gone from the world. He sipped on his brandy and stared at the letter Umbridge had sent him. Most of it was commending his work. The last sentence as always was his next mark. This one he didn't want to do above all others. He would have to return to the place where his and Harry's relationship started. Back to Hogwarts. He was being sent to kill Minerva McGonagall. He didn't want to hurt this woman either. She was wise and knowledgable and above all, she had married Harry and Draco. He hoped he could get her away from the school quietly. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt this woman.

* * *

"What's the supposed body count now?" Harry asked Tony while looking at the paper.

"Nine," Tony replied.

"Have you seen them?"

"Yes. I've delivered supplies to the houses."

"Good. Do you know Draco's next target?"

"No. But he should be recieving word soon."

* * *

Draco looked up at the huge ancient building. Hogwarts. He never thought he would be back here for these reasons. He cast a Disillusionment charm and walked in. He marched all the way up to McGonagall's office without being seen. He walked in the door and found no one. He sat down and looked around. McGonagall was much neater than Dumbledore had been. All her books were neatly placed on shelves. All small trinkets had their place. Fawkes cooed softly from his cage. After five minutes, the door opened and Professor McGonagall walked in with a stack of papers that were most likely papers to be graded. Draco took off the disillusionment charm.

"Hello Headmistress," he said calmly holing his wand in front of him. She put down the stack of papers and slowly turned.

"Hello Mr. Malfoy-Potter," she replied. "I didn't believe it until now."

"Don't believe everything you hear," he said calmly standing up. "I don't want to hurt you. Please. Just take my hand."

"No threats? Your other kidnappings and killings have been very flamboyant according to the papers."

"As I said, don't believe everything you hear. I promise. I will have you back here as soon as I can." McGonagall tilted her head and gave him a scrutinizing look she often gave when she suspected someone of lying. But he didn't squirm as he used to as a student. He was being honest.

"Why are you doing this if your intent is not to kill me and the others?"

"My intent is to save you. I have orders to kill you. If I don't carry these orders out at least in appearance, someone else will be sent who will most assuredly kill you." McGonagall put on her cloak and hat and then calmly placed her hand in Draco's outstretched one. Draco gently squeezed it in an attempt to be reassuring. Then they apparated away.

* * *

**HEADMISTRESS OF HOGWARTS DISAPPEARED!!**

"I guess we now know who his next target was," said Harry looking at the paper the next morning.

"She came along the calmest according to Draco," said Tony. "She trusted him. Once she saw everyone else who is supposed to be dead she trusted him even more. She's promised to help once everything comes out."

"When is that going to happen?"

"Remus has been sending notes to his assistant who is conducting an investigation. They are investigating Draco, but they are also watching the people he has been in contact with. Viktor Krum and Dolores Umbridge to be exact. Once Draco has another trophy from another mark to bring to Umbridge, they are going to use that as evidence to bring them all in."

"What happens to Draco at that point?"

"That all depends on what he says."

* * *

Draco rode in the car to Umbridge's headquarters. He noticed people about that he normally didn't see. Krum didn't seem to notice at all. Maybe the ministry was finally making its move. In his hand he held McGonagall's wand. If they wanted to take him now, he welcomed it. He pulled a bottle from his coat and drank it down. Hopefully they would rush the office before the potion took effect.

He walked into Umbridge's office and showed her the wand.

"Amazing Mr. Malfoy!" said Umbridge. "Now, with the dreadful McGonagall out of the way, Hogwarts will be easy pickings." Draco's throat went dry.

"Ma'am?" he asked nervously.

"I thought you would have figured this out by now. We intend to take out all the teachers and staff at Hogwarts. It's a hotbed of lies and horrible training for our young ones and it's high time someone brought it down." Draco heard heavy foot steps coming down the hall. He heard yelling. Umbridge looked confused. Draco simply closed his eyes, hung his head, and raised his hands in the air. Aurors rushed the room. Draco dropped to the floor and slipped into darkness.

* * *

"He's where?!!!" Harry screamed at Tony who had just run to the hospital to share the news.

"He's in Azkaban," Tony repeated in between gasps. "The Aurors followed him. They caught him in the office with Umbridge planning the destruction of Hogwarts."

"Don't they know? Hasn't anyone told them that he didn't kill anyone yet?!"

"No. No one has told them. No one is talking. They stunned Draco and he hasn't regained consciousness yet."

"What?! How long has he been out?"

"Hours. No one can figure it out."

"Have they tried waking him somehow?"

"They've tried everything. He wakes for a few minutes and then slips away again. They think he took something." Harry flew to his pile of books and tore through them until he found a potions book. "When he's awake, he doesn't answer anyone. He acts like he's in a trance. He won't answer any questions. Not even to defend himself."

"When is his trial?"

"It begins tomorrow. They want to do away with him as quickly as possible. If he has taken something that won't let him defend himself, I don't know what we are going to do." Harry thumped the book with a finger.

"Draco you sneaky bastard," he whispered staring at the book. "I have a plan. If he's not going to speak in his own defense, I will."


	35. Chapter 35

**All right! Done! Finally! LAST CHAPTER! Finally thought of an ending to this damn chapter that's been sitting in my computer for months. This is it, the end, the last gasp, and finally... purely... trully happy. I hope you enjoy it.**

**DISCLAIMER! I don't own Harry Potter or anything of or surrounding that, I just wish that I did.**

* * *

Draco felt himself being pulled into consciousness again. Why do they keep trying? he thought to himself. The sleeping draught he had taken was meant to last two days. That way he could sleep through Azkaban and the trial and finally sleep until he was left alone in Azkaban and he could kill himself and finally be with Harry again.

"Wake up Malfoy scum," said a rough voice. "It's time for your trial and they will want you to answer for your crimes. Even if we have to stand there and constantly bring you back to consciousness." Malfoy groaned and stood up.

"I don't care," Malfoy muttered. "Nothing matters anymore." The guard grabbed Draco by the arm and led him to the cage where he would be pulled up into the courtroom. Draco sat down in it and laid his head against the bars. The guards poked him with wands.

"Stand up scum!" one shouted. He stood again and held onto the bars. He heard the chain clink and he was slowly raised into the courtroom.

"Draco Malfoy," said the judge laying eyes on him. "You have been charged with ten counts of kidnapping and ten counts of murder. You have been charged with consorting with enemies of the magical world. How do you plead?" Draco pulled himself together as much as he could stood up straight and said,

"Your honor-"

"Excuse me! Your Honor!" shouted a voice behind him that he knew too well.

"Damn it Tony," Draco whispered. "You're going to muck this all up."

"Who are you?" said the angry judge.

"I'm Dr. Anthony Kobayashi. A childhood friend of the defendent and I have evidence of his innocence." Draco turned and saw several hooded figures walking in behind Tony.

"What evidence is that?" said the Judge unimpressed.

"This!" Tony held out his arm towards the figures and all but one pushed off their hoods. The courtroom was in utter shock. There stood Remus Lupin, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, and the seven others that he had supposedly killed. "Your honor, five months ago Harry James Potter was put into an unique situation. He was contacted by Dolores Umbridge and was asked to be recruited to do her bidding. He told Minister of Magic, Remus Lupin. He, Minister Lupin, and Draco Malfoy-Potter formulated a plan. That plan was to appear to kill Draco Malfoy and hide him. They wanted to find out Umbridge's plans and just how many allies she had. That plan, did not go very well. Harry Potter could not kill his lover. That is why he appeared to kill himself four months ago." Draco stared at Tony and Remus Lupin in disbelief. "Minister Lupin, upon discovering Harry's mistake, made a new plan with Draco Malfoy-Potter and then obliviated his memory." Remus now walked to the cage and helped Draco out. He handed Draco a bottle and said,

"Drink this quickly. Harry put it together to wake you up." Draco drank the potion quickly and felt all his limbs fill with warmth and energy. Remus put his hand to Draco's forehead and put all the memories right again. Draco stumbled backwards, eyes closed, and felt a rush of pain. Remus grabbed his arm to steady him and the last hooded figure rushed forward, grabbed his arm, and put an arm around his back.

"Since then, Draco Malfoy-Potter has been following the orders of Dolores Umbridge but only in appearance. He feared that if he did not hide these important figures of the magical world, Dolores Umbridge would hire someone else who would kill these people without question."

"If all of this is true, where is Harry Potter?" said the judge. Tony gestured towards the last hooded figure who was holding up Draco. Draco opened his eyes and watched as Harry pushed back his hood and looked at him for the first time in four months with a look of perfect love. The entire court room was in a stir. But to Harry and Draco they were the only people there. Draco tentatively reached forward and touched Harry's cheek with his hand. Harry reached out to Draco and did the same. They barely heard the judge banging his gavel and absolving Draco of all charges in light of the overwhelming evidence before him. Draco couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He was afraid this dream would end if he even breathed. Harry leaned forward and whispered in Draco's ear,

"We should go. You're free." Draco let himself be led by Harry out of the courtroom. Once out the door, they had to shield their eyes from all the flashes and reporters who wanted to catch a glimpse of the pair. Harry pulled his hood over his head and sheilded Draco with the rest of his cloak. Remus led them out of the building and to a car he had all ready called.

"This will take you wherever you need to go," Remus told them.

"Including Ireland?" asked Harry.

"Especially Ireland. In about ten minutes you'll be there." Harry hugged Remus tightly.

"Thank you Remus." Remus hugged Harry back tightly and then shut the door.

"Minister where are they going?" asked a reporter near by.

"To get the privacy they so richly deserve," said Remus and then apparated away to his office.

For a moment, Harry and Draco stared at each other. Draco was visibly shaking.

"You're shivering," said Harry in a concerned tone of voice. He took off his cloak and wrapped Draco in it as tightly as he could. Draco couldn't take his eyes off of Harry's face.

"You're alive," Draco finally whispered. Harry looked directly into Draco's eyes and took his face in his hands.

"I'm alive. And I'm so sorry that we let you believe that I was dead. It was the only way to keep you safe." Draco reached up with shaking hands and threaded his fingers through Harry's dark hair.

"You're alive," he whispered again. He clutched the back of Harry's head suddenly and the two shared a passionate and violent kiss which lasted all the way to Ireland.

Later they could never explain properly to themselves or anyone else what happened that night. All they could say for certain was they never left each other's arms. Magic snapped, lights flashed, and the two became more bonded to each other than ever before. They felt what the other felt, they heard each other's thoughts, and they saved each other from the darkness and loneliness that had haunted them for the past four months.

For days, no one saw them. For days they didn't leave the house in Ireland. They didn't want to see anyone and everyone left them alone. Remus Lupin finally tried to get in touch a month later. He made it as far as the hill about a mile away from their house. What he saw made his breath catch in his throat. Draco was sitting on the floor of the front porch. Between his long outstretched legs, Harry sat leaning back against Draco, snuggled into his chest. They both wore jeans, trainers, black shirts and pea coats. While Harry's was tightly buttoned, Draco's was spread open and draped over Harry's shoulders. They were sharing a cigarette that they had to constantly relight in the harsh wind. Draco was taking a drag when Harry said something that made him laugh. His laughter rung out over the hills and made Harry smile brighter. Draco looked down, threaded his fingers through Harry's hair and kissed Harry on the forehead. Harry looked up and they shared a tender kiss on the lips.

"Aren't you going to go to them?" said Snape's ghostly voice at his side. Remus pushed away tears that he didn't know he'd been crying and sniffled.

"No," he replied with a quiver in his voice. "They're happy. Who am I to intrude on their happiness?"

"You're not going to them with a mission or any tales of bad news. Why not?"

"I'm not exactly the person that either of them wants to see right now. I thought they might need some company. I thought they might have driven each other crazy by now. But... look at them." Harry was chuckling heartily now. He stubbed out the last of the cigarette on the wooden boards of the porch and cuddled closer to Draco. Draco in turn stretched his coat out and wrapped Harry in his coat and arms as tightly as he could. "They don't NEED anyone else. They only need each other. Who am I to disturb that?" He turned to the ghostly face of his old lover. "You and I used to do that."

"I remember. You were always cold. I always had to snuggle close to you at night to keep you warm."

"You talk like it was a task."

"It was. One I looked forward to every evening. All day, all I could do was watch you. At night, I could finally hold you, like Draco is holding Harry now." Draco was resting his chin on Harry's head and gently rocking Harry in his arms now. Remus imagined that Draco was humming softly to him some old lullaby just because he could. "Like I wish I still could."

Remus turned away from the scene and trudged back towards town. Snape silently walked beside him. Slowly, Remus held out his hand and took Snape's cold and ethereal one in his as gently as he could. Harry and Draco would come back when they were ready. Remus knew that now. But for one second he wanted to remember what it was like to have someone hold a coat around you just so you would be a slight bit warmer than you are now.


End file.
